Preparing
I enjoy reading posts and replies, when I look back at other sites as well as this one, and see the comments I posts, events in my life, I am appalled in a way, how have I allowed myself to stay in this marriage as long as I have!! What are some things other have done to gain their self-respect back, dignity, and courage to move on? I am extremely shy, I have anxiety issues and I assume depression.
My first divorce was hard but my daughter was very young, she doesn't even remember it. I am stashing money right now, and I am not sure if I should wait, dd15 will be graduating in 2020 as well as SD15, SD16 graduates next year. I realize now it will never get better, his drinking, in ability to stand up to his ex or his daughter's or his mother, all of who are very mean to me. He has crushed me, but I know it is my own vault for believing in him, in us. I do not believe in love anymore, and love cannot conquer all. Growing up, my mother always demanded, do unto others as you would like done unto yourself, treat everyone equally, always be kind, well everything I was raised on has done nothing but made my life miserable!
Razz ma tazz.... your mother
Razz ma tazz.... your mother raised your well...... do not doubt in your upbringing and self, you are a strong woman,
stand in front of the mirror and look deep into your own eyes, see that woman is still there caged in begging and screaming to come out again, allow her to come out. Make yourself happy Hon and forget about the others...
Love yourself again, you did nothing wrong.... and all will be fine, keep on hiding money and work on that escape plan, it will be worth it
Razz, I agree with Acrotopes,
Razz,
I agree with Acrotopes, you were raised well. Your tolerance of this situation for any length of time and your current point of moving on supports that you are strong.
Don't give up on love. It can conquer all. Not the tingly feeling thing. But actual love. Love is not a feeling or a noun, it is a verb, it is action. You have taken the actions of love. The man you are married to has not. He failed. You did not fail love did not fail.
Love is about equity life partnership between two mutually committed people. Your DH is not your equity life partner and is not mutually or equitably committed to you. His actions prove that.
Don't wait, go now. Start your new life adventure with this man in your rear view mirror.
Next time... do not settle for anything less than the demonstrated actions of love and an equity life partnership.
Take care of you.
Good luck.
If you are willing to see a
If you are willing to see a therapist, I'd start there. A good therapist will help you gain some confidence and help you plan the next part of your life.
I left my ex after planning for 10 years. It's not unusual. Things were going to get better. THIS time his promise would mean something. Nope and nope. I finally left when our DD was 12. Getting her out of that toxic situation was the best thing I did for her.