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LOLing on the Inside

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Thu, 07/13/2017 - 7:35am

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Adult Stepchildren

ss32 stopped by the other day with his new barely legal gf. After they left DH commented about how young gf was and how he didn't understand why ss seemed to always date very young girls since he had such and "Old Soul." I just shrugged and left the room, didn't want to engage DH in conversation about ss's maturity level. Old Soul, really DH. I have no idea where he conjures this crap up from. ss26 who is married and has actually worked all of his adult life has never been given the title of "Old Soul," yet the one who has couch surfed and spent decades smokes pot is somehow some deep spiritual creature?

So glad barely legal and Old Soul ignored me for the entire 5 minute visit. Apparently Old Soul is already talking marriage w/barely legal. Oh joy, hope she's not knocked up. luckily I'm disengaged and will have to sit out the blessed event if it happens.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 07/13/2017 - 7:42am

"Old Soul" means the 32 year old should be around 50...... and definitely not be dating some one old enough to be his grand daughter... I think SS32 more has a Teenage Soul....

I would make DH study up what Old Soul means lol.....

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 7:28pm

Yes he definitley has a teenage soul/mentality. He started smoking pot and drinking at a young age and it seems like he emotionally stopped evolving at about 15 years old. Still knows it all, lives w/mommy and dates very young girls. Too bad he's almost bald or he might be able to keep up the facade of youth.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Thu, 07/13/2017 - 7:50am

He dates Miss Barely Legal because no woman his own age wants anything to do with a 32yr old loser. No job, no home and a pot head...yeah, every woman's dream man Wink

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 7:33pm

He's the dream man right now. Free pot and partying. He has a car and mommy lets him bring girls home. Whee!

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 7:38pm

ss is an old soul and also has an extremely high IQ according to DH. ss has never had an IQ test but if he was intelligent at one point in his life the drugs and partying have knocked him down a few notches. I'm thinking DH calls ss an old soul because he says highly spiritual things when he's stoned.

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 7:41pm

DH is definitely a guilty dad and overly compensates the most for ss32 since he's the one who is barely adulting. He hardly ever talks about ss26 who is doing well for the most part. Nope, it's always about how fantastic and amazing ss32 is.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 7:44pm

Hmmm, wishful thinking. Someone should tell your DH that just saying it, doesn't make it so. I mean, he can keep trying, by putting it out there in the Universe, you never know, but....

sammigirl's picture

Submitted by sammigirl on Thu, 07/13/2017 - 9:15am

still learning: It never ceases to amaze me! I'm glad you can laugh at it. I also seem to enjoy sitting back and watching SD56 dig herself a deeper hole; but again, as in your case, my DH never sees it. So be it. It is still entertaining at times.

Good job on your part!

sammigirl's picture

Submitted by sammigirl on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 2:55pm

renewal 11-11: Our DH's will always see their children as just that "innocent children". They love them no matter, as it should be.

I always take this into consideration when enforcing boundaries. Am I being fair? What would I do with my own children in this situation? I was raised with respect and live and let live. My SD and SGD are very spoiled and entitled (so they think).

Disengagement was a heavy weight for me; but now it is easy and natural. I am loving my freedom.

It took me years to realize this was not my problem; it is DH and BM's. When I finally got my head on straight, it is entertaining (LOL), as OP states here.

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 7:53pm

It is extremely freeing when SP's realize that skids are their parents problem, not yours. DH and BM created this balding, immature, lazy, druggie man boy who they are soooo pwoud of! I'm just glad he's not mine. I love my kids no matter what but I also kick their little azzes into shape if they are out of line. And no way in hell would a 32 year old son of mine be bringing home a barely legal girl home for sleepovers and partying. She's not old enough to drink. But thankfully not my balding old soul monkey.

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 7:48pm

Oh yes it's entertaining and this time I had to leave the room because I about burst out laughing. I used to get upset by it all because I was so confused over the dynamic and would call out DH on his crappy enabling. Now I just leave, DH gets to deal with it and I enjoy the show. Funny though that DH does not want to directly deal w/ss's sh*tty behavior. It was much better for both of them when he was protecting poor widdle ss from mean 'ol stepmom. DH and ss bonded well over that and ss was here all the time. Now that I'm not playing ss barely comes over.

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 7:55pm

Indeed!

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 2:39pm

the best thing about disengaging is being able to see the karma train run them over.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 9:56pm

YOU may be laughing in the inside. I am HOWLING!!! This thread is hilarious! LOL The really amazing thing is how far our DH's go to mask reality. My imagination is just going wild. I can just see that 35 year old 'old soul' with the jail bait on his arm and the 52 year old 'innocent child! LOL LOL Just like my SD - the little 'cute and clever princess' that DH told me about but all I ever saw was a big, rolling eyed blow fish.

I guess they do it out of love. But quite a stretch don't you think?

Thanks for the laugh.

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Tue, 07/18/2017 - 6:26pm

its just like one skids drug problem is only, "she only has that problem but otherwise she is good young lady." lol indeed.