Parents are supposed to do stuff for their kids whether they are bio or step. I guess I think you are overreacting to your SD not wanting to spend her hard earned cash on you. It would be great if she did just because, like you did for her but kids can't always see the forest through the trees. My kids regularly buy me stuff just because but I encourage them to buy stuff for themselves with their money.

As far as your SD comment about you having everything - most kids think their parents have everything so buying them stuff is not a thought.

Way over reacting. Honestly, and I do not mean to be ugly but seriously; why on earth would you expect her to do something like that? Kids that age are so self absorbed as it is. My SD is about to turn 16 and will also have a job. If she bought me something just because, I would know something was going on and she was up to something. Do not let it bother you.

is a need to feel a return on your 'investment'. ie: you invested in her, tried so hard, went the extra mile...that you are now expecting the same back. kids don't work like that. ESPECIALLY kids that aren't yours. lower your expectations and you'll feel better.

When I was 17 and had a job the last person I thought about spending MY MONEY on was my Mom and she was my bio. I wouldn't think anything about it. Hopefully she will be thoughtful enough to buy you a gift for your birthday or mother's day. You did a lot for this girl with your elaborate gifts and offers....now sit back and let her buy her own dooney and bourke purse from now on. Maybe that will be an eye-opener for her.

and maybe she will sometime since you mentioned it. Hi, I know what you mean when I realized my SD hasn't given me a gift in years, but she did when we first met. And she didn't have any money then for sure, at age 8.

Now that she has a job I am curious to see if she will buy anything really for her dad. If she doesn't start, her gifts are going to seriously decrease from me, in fact they already have after this past summer when she said he was not her dad and didn't do anything for her.

They get along better now but she got sort of a Tiny Tim Christmas from me after that, and I am staying with that unless she contributes more to the relationship somehow, initiating calls, etc. to him, and she is kind of.

It is not that I want to get things . . . it is just that kids should be taught you don't just get, you also give.

I don't think it is too much to ask either, since I always gave my whole family gifts as soon as I started working!

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

When I was growing up in high school there were all kinds of kids. Kids that adored themselves, kids that adored their friends, kids that adored their parents, kids that adored all three of the things, etc. I think it really all depends on the kid.

Personally, when I had jobs I would go out of my way to buy people nice things, especially my mom. At my second job I worked at a store in the mall so I had plenty of time during my lunch breaks to shop. One time I bought her a large framed picture that cost me about $50+ for no reason other than I had the money from my job. She loved the picture and has it hanging up in her room to this day. However, you can't expect every kid to do things like that.

As a parent myself, I do not expect or encourage my children to splurge their money on me. However I do encourage them, at 10 and 7, to save their money then maybe buy a larger/expensive item for themselves. I would do the same if they were 16 and had little part time jobs. I don't expect things from them. I guess as long as they are good, loving kids then what better gift could I ask for? However, I do love their little trinkets, pictures, etc that they surprise me with on occasion.

BTW, I suggest if you want to go to the movies, shopping trips, etc then if I were you I would suggest it to your SD.

"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."

Kids do think that their "parents" have it all and they(kids) always want more!
My sons pay for their own gas and insurance and only have part time jobs so I do not expect a gift. However they do offer to pay sometimes when we go to dinner, and I really appreciate that.

I understand your feelings but dont let it get ya down!

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

i should comment that my 12 year old SS usually thinks of his dad on his dad's b'day and on father's day by calling him AND getting him at least a card if not a little gift (like a fishing magazing for example.) this year, he skipped christmas and his dad's birthday. he showed up at our house on christmas wanting to open his gifts (the nintendo wii we got him) and was empty handed for his dad, i and his little half-sister. i don't believe that we should expect them to do much, but simply to ACKNOWLEDGE special occasions that mean something to everyone is basic respect 101. i talked with him later and mentioned to him, that he's old enough now to make a point of being thoughtful with his family. (by the way, this kid has a calendar that he uses to write everything down on eg. when he's with his dad, when his school days are off and when summer vacation is. he can use his calendar for such occasions other than what means something to him.) that we make a big deal about his birthday, christmas, etc. and to not reciprocate is being thought'less'. if we don't teach children while they're young how to be kind, compassionate and thoughtful souls, who will? this is our role, is it not? i don't want to raise a generation of selfish narcissistic adults that don't care. this worries me...

Just got his first job a few months back. He is a sweet thoughtful child, but he hasn't yet thought to buy me something and he is totally that kind of kid. They just don't think of it, they are so excited to be a little independent and that is all the gift I need, for him to pay his OWN phone bill, buy his own bike parts and save for his first car and he is doing all 3 without me telling him to. Don't let it get you down, one day she will see something you would just love and get it for you spare of the moment, I know my son will.

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*