A good friend's daughter is getting in to a blended family situation.
The set up for this may be a bit convoluted so please bear with me.
A good friend of mine has a 24yo daughter who is in a developing relationship with a young man (her age +/-) who has two children by a previous marriage. This man signed whatever papers his Ex put in front of him and committed himself to extremely high CS and alimony payments to his XW. My friends daughter drug him to an attorney in order to get professional advice on how to address the extremely high CS and alimony burden.
The attorney indicated that it may be possible to get the CS lowered but he is screwed as far as the alimony. He is stuck with alimony for life or until his XW remarries.
My friend recommended that his daughter run away with all possible haste.
Though I am a happily married StepDad, I concur with his recommendation.
Any thoughts?
Best regards,
- Rags's blog
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Comments
I have to say that I agree
although, I too am happy in my marriage. She is too young to have to deal with all of the frustration that will surely come her way. i am sure there are plenty of good guys out there without strings attached. Alimony for life? Ouch. In my state, if you are awarded alimony it is only for half of the time that you were married.
On one hand, RUN!
on the other hand I once knew of a 21 year old woman (girl) who married a 42 year man with three daughters 9, 15 & 17. The kids had just recently come to live with their dad because their mother literally went into a mental facility. The two older kids were hanging with a bad crowd, into drugs and running away alot and between a "busy" mom and a dad trying to deal with all of this the 9 year old had a few issues too. Seriously who in their right mind would take on all of this??? Luckily my step-mom would... the 9 year old was me and as crazy as I think she was for walking into that mess I'm eternally grateful that she did, and actually so is she.
So on one hand I'd recommend your friend's daughter run like the wind... but on the other who's to say what will work. I think vickmeister's idea of having her read here a bit is brilliant though, at least she'll have a little bit of an idea what she's getting into.
I had confidence that the response would be significant
Thanks everyone. I will see if I can get her to join the group. My big concern is not the CS, the kids or the XW. I am most concerned that her life with this man will never be as financially secure as it should be with two professional incomes because ~80% of his income goes to CS and alimony.
I am not sure I would recommend that anyone tie their start to a partner that out of touch with reality.
Best regards,
80% ??
All else aside it does appear that he has a very strong inclination to cave in to his ex and that's never good...
Get a second, or third, opinion
It sounds really weird that a 24 year old receives alimony at all, much less for life? Can't he say he was coerced to sign this or fight it somehow? Maybe he should talk to other attorneys to see what they say.
I have to say money problems in a marriage are hard enough without all that - I think she should definitely read our blogs.
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
This is a no-brainer...
Coming from someone without a brain!
She needs to run, run, run and not look back. She will get over the hurt in time, but when she is happily married (not with him), she will look back at it all as a close call. Lock her in a room with me for one hour -- that's all I need -- and I'll convince her to leave! lol