General Hospital Part II
So, while the BM is off vacationing in France, I am stuck with her responsibility of taking care of SD12. I have a 2 year old and a newborn and the BM is "taking a break" after 4 months of a "break" here at home. I've talked to my H about it, but he loves is daughter, so it's a sticky subject. The BM has always had a problem with alcohol, so my H is happy the daughter is here as to avoid contact with the BM. The BM is selfish and a liar. My SD is also selfish and fast turning into a liar. BM is so selfish that while in the hospital last month giving birth, she couldn't even keep the daughter 2 nights while I was in the hospital. All I wanted was 2 nights alone with my H and new girl (I didn't even want my son there!), and I didn't get it. So, I had to lay in my hospital room sharing this time with SD wishing she would just drop off the face of the earth. I didn't sign up for a full-time SD. I've resigned to the fact that she is with us full-time until the BM can get it together, but meanwhile, I'm losing it. I am missing out on precious time with my little ones because I am so aggravated by the sight of the SD. I lost it last night because SD picks at the dinners I make, but I can't tell her where to stick it because my H will get upset and defend her. I try to disengage myself from her...I don't' even say hello when she comes home after school, but she is always there! She deals just fine with her mother's absence...in fact, SD has been seeing a therapist for several years now and comes home after her sessions happy, walking around the house humming and talking about dumb stuff she watches on you tube. I can't stand it! I don't have time to hum and watch you tube because now I have one more mouth to feed, more laundry, more cleaning, etc. I've started making her do more chores, but by the time I force her to do anything, I could have it done myself! Fortunately, she spends a lot of time in her room watching TV and doesn't like to do family things with us...this is my only saving grace.
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Comments
Talk to your husband and
Talk to your husband and explain to him that both he and his daughter need to pick up the slack and help you.
One of my favorite things to say to my DH is "I will not assume responsibility for children that I did not give birth to and that do not like me". "You are their father therefore it is your sole responsibility to take care of them and mind them when they are in our home."
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
I agree with
Serendipity. Your DH needs to be the one to look after SD's needs. Have you considered a therapist for yourself?