Anyone else here wonder what ever happened to that s/o that they met?
10+ years ago, when I first met the man that I married, I met someone who shared the same values and principals of raising kids that I did. He’d been through HELL with losing a son and a drug-addicted cheating ex-wife, and he made it through
His daughter, then just finishing her undergrad at college was in my opinion a testament to the backbone and the morals that this person had. We discussed his “rules of the house” which HE also lived by… until we were engaged and I moved in, I did not spend the night if his kids were home, I stayed in the common area of the home… we set our example for both his kids and mine
When SS turned 17 and would stay out late…and there was no real punishment I should have thought something was up.
When the SS left college mid way through the first semester and was allowed to wallow around “depressed” for three months, I should have known better.
When the SS wanted his THEN girlfriend to stay over weekend, and we said “no” and he threatened to “kill himself” so that my then fiancé would cave in…the flag was waving
Then every time after that, when something didn’t go the way SS wanted it to, my now HUSBAND would bend over backwards to “make it better” for fear of what he would do to himself if things didn’t go well
For Ten years, my husband has slowly gone from the person that I met… strong, steadfast, and principled… to someone who allows himself to be emotionally blackmailed by his son.
Does anyone else here feel that this person that they’re involved with is no longer the same guy/girl that they were when you first met?
Yep, I told GG that I miss
Yep, I told GG that I miss the OLD GG and the new GG has definitely changed. I admitted that maybe I've changed too, but it was a defense in response of the way he was dealing with the Behemoth and the skids. Since then he's been on his best behaviour, aka the "honeymoon cycle" but I'm sure this soon will end. I have no expectations anymore.
Mine didn't do it so
Mine didn't do it so gradually. My DH told me two days after I married him that I "need to be a wife now, not just a gf." I had been under the impression that I had been doing very well during the 6 months I lived with him before we married. Apparently, he thought I had just been playing house. He went from an involved, cheerful, helpful bf to a snarly, angry, distant, lazy husband and father. I think his expectation (even though he said differently) was that he could stop working so hard to "get" me after we were married. Once he got me committed, he figured he didn't have to woo me anymore. Over the last 4 years (tomorrow is our anniversary), both of us have worked hard to change our expecations of he other and ourselves. He's pretty close to ideal in the last 6 months or so, but he still has his distant and crabby moments. He's definitely stepped up in the last month with the skids. Tomorrow, he's taking me for a romantic dinner for our anniversary. I pray it keeps getting better the way it has been. God's been doing a lot in both of us.