my skids do, age 7 and 5 when they met me and we kind of pushed it as a preferred option while making it clear that they could choose something else, like 'Me-Ma'. We were totally against calling adults by 1st name. In our upbringing and in our community, that is considered disrespectful.

Not here.... SDs were 18 months and 5 years when I married DH. They are now 11 and 14.5 and still call me by my first name. Occasionally they call me Step-Monster too, but we have a very close and loving relationship and they don't mean it in an ugly way. As much as I can't stand BM, I would never want them to call me Mom.... she gets that title in my opinion. A nickname might be ok, but I prefer just to be called by my name. If perfectson's SM wanted him to call her Mom I would be beyond pissed.

Mine doesn't call me mom but she does refer to herself as my child. Like when were at the grocery store and I say she can't when she wants to sign my name on the credit card thing (which is aparently super cool when you're 10), she'll say "but I'm your child!" I didn't meet her until she was 7, and I asked her early on how she wanted me to introduce her to people, like if she wanted me to call her my daughter, or my husband daughter or my step-daughter. She said to just call her my kid.

She calls me by my first name, which is what I do for my step-parents too (and I was only 3 when I met each of them). I would never expect her to call me mom or try to get her to, but if she wanted to I wouldn't stop her either. I think whatever the kid is comfortable with is fine, and it varies by situation.

My SD14 calls me mom. She asked to start calling me mom the day DH and I got engaged. We talked to her about why she wanted to do that instead of calling me by my name and told her that it would be inappropriate for her to call me mom until after DH and I got married, if at all. She was 8 at the time. Her reasons for wanting to call me mom were that she didn't feel like she had a mom until I came along. Her BM only spent time with her when it was convenient or when it was beneficial to her. Even at such a young age, SD14 could tell that her BM was using her as a pawn, even though those aren't the words she used. We left it up to her and she decided that she wanted to call me mom. We made her wait until after we were married. Of course BM was furious, but SD14 told her BM why she called me mom instead of my name and that she would not be changing her mind. I know this will sound a bit hypocritical, but I would not want my kids calling any other woman mom besides me, but at the same time, I would never alienate my children so that they felt like they needed to do that. Slam for saying that if you want, but that's how I feel. I would have been just as happy to have SD14 call me by my name, but she is the one that wanted to start calling me mom and her father and I felt her reasons were valid.

May those that love us, love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping.
~Irish Blessing

Believe it or not, both of my Skids have called me mom since DH and I got married.. And this was not my idea or DHs. It was the BM, she told me that I was their second mom and that is what she thought of me. That was back before all of her BS started and everyone got along... Once the fire storm started with BM she told the Skids it had always hurt her that they called me mom. So now my confused Skids didn't know what to call me, so I said just call me unhappy2happy, yet that never stuck.. They continued to call me mom, my SS even at almost 20 still calls me mom..My SD when her mom is around doesn't call me anything.. Since our blow up, she doesn't address me either way.. so we shall see...One of her nasty texts to DH said, unhappy2happy will never be mom to me again, she will always be just unhappy2happy...

My younger one does sometimes. But they both do refer to me as one of their parents when they are talking about us.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

My stepson was 3 when I started dating his dad. He was 5 when we married. He didn't address me at all, until he was about 7 or so. Now he calls me mom. I'm not sure why he started, I didn't encourage it at all. My husbands side of the family is riddled with divorce, and its common in my stepson's community for kids to have two moms or two dads. Its very sad actually. I don't think he really understands. It's just the way things are for him.

No. My kids call DH by his first name (sometimes they call him Dad, if they want something... little terds) and SS has a nickname for me. It just kind of happened that way because when he was 1 he couldn't say my name, and that is how it came out. Now he is 6 and still calls me that. Sometimes even my daughters call me by the nickname. A term of endearment I suppose. Cute.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

New to this site, and not even sure how to respond...ugh! We'll see how this goes....

My DSD was just a lil tyke when we met and I've been a part of her life as a step-mama for many years now. She calls me by my first name and always has. She refers to herself as my daughter, and refers to DH and me as her parents, but I am referred to by my first name.

“Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

My step kids were 5 and 7 when I met them. They just call me by my first name. Occasionally they slip up and call me mom. My BD calls my DH (her stepdad) by his first name as well. I am not sure I would be comfortable with them calling me mom.

I'm with DISbelief. My SS calls me "honey". I met him when he was just 1 yr old and he could not say my real name. Daddy calls me honey, so SS started to call me honey. Everyone thinks it is so cute! Eventually, though, I believe there will be a transition to something else.. not sure what or when it will happen. He is 3 1/2 now and still calls me honey. What do you all think? Will he stop calling me "honey"? I am sure it would get embarrassing for him at some point don't you think?

Nope....she has a mother...I'm jojo. I don't refer to myself as her stepmother...I'm not...I'm not married to her father.

My SD calls me "MOM, MOMMY, MAMA and YES, MOTHER" I don't mind the Mom but sometimes I find it strange that a 5 foot tall 6th grader that I met five years ago and that I most certainly did not give birth too calls me Mommy or Mama. I don't know why, it always strikes me as odd.

However, SD and I have a different relationship than some on this board. I am raising her full time because her mom is in another country. But the "Mom" thing didn't happen organically. When her father and I became engaged and I was moving in, she asked what she should call me. I told her that she could call me whatever she felt comfortable with but it would be OK if she just wanted to keep calling me by my first name, or if she wanted to come up with some other special name for me, rather than calling me mom.

She actually asked her mother if it would be alright with her if SD called me mom and her mom said that she didn't care so she's called me mom ever since. I don't know how it doesn't bother her mother because I sure wouldn't let my BD call someone else mom but I wouldn't abandone my BD to go live with a guy in another country either.

Sounds like if the BM's are out of the picture, kids are calling them Mom.. if they are still in the picture, then they call by the first name.. makes sense.

SD's were 15 (now 18) & 19(now 22) when I met them; they do not call me "mom" however when the younger one got in trouble she accidentally called me mom. They both have said to DH & other family members that I'm more like a mom to them than their BM - interesting, because they sure don't treat me like a mom in any respect. Both call me by my first name. I have a text msg from SD18 that says I can "totally put love dad 7 moma JMC that's how I refer to you" - this came about because I sent her a Valentine's card signed "Dad & JMC". I can only imagine what they call me when I'm not around, lol!

NO! And I hope she never does. SD already has a mom.

The current year will bring you much happiness. (fortune cookie)