Gift or no???
My SD will be 17 in almost a week....I am having an issue on whether or not to get her a b-day gift or card. She never calls me or DH unless it is benefical to her or she wants something. She lives 2 hours away and we never see her....although her grandparents live in the same town as we do and she visits them EVERY weekend. She never once calls me (I could care less about that though) or DH to let us know she is in town. Then she wants to bitch and complain that DH never has time for her. In the 3 years that DH and I have been together...I have seen her MAYBE 6 times and that is including holidays. She is shoved up her BF butt, has a job and plays every sport under the sun....she never has time for DH but he is supposed to make the 2 hour drive anytime she stubs her toe! She and BM are always trashing DH....telling him he is such a horrible father and has never been there for her and blah blah blah. As far as what happened when she was little...I don't know all the details nor do I care to. There are 3 sides to every story and I know I won't get the whole truth from any of them. She is not a "bad" kid....other than being a spoiled rotten brat that gets her way. But her BM has her brain washed....she was supposed to come vist us a few weekends ago...it was raining and BM would not let her drive down to see us (but it was ok for her to go to her BF house at 1:00 AM). DH and BM got into a huge fight ....... she didn't come that night but ended up coming down the next day and once again...did NOT contact DH to let him know she was in town. I am so feed up with her pulling this "woe is me" BS!!! I can't wait for her to turn 18 but until then....gift or no gift????
Here's my general rule with
Here's my general rule with gift - giving. If I have to question it, then I don't feel good enough about the person to get them a gift. Gift giving should be from the heart, not out of some silly sense of obligation.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
That's what I was leaning
That's what I was leaning towards. Especially after this Christmas...I asked SD what she would like for Christmas. Her response? "What do you get the who has everything?" (Also imagine a really smug look on her face while she is saying this) I said I guess nothing!
Nope, I'd say no gift. It
Nope, I'd say no gift. It should be heartfelt like soverysad said. And why bother to go out of your way for someone who doesn't reciprocate or appreciate your efforts? It just sets you up for disappointment.
Thanks all! You have saved
Thanks all! You have saved me a lot of money for the upcoming years because I only buy out of love for one SS.....the other SS and SD...it's out of obligation. Now I don't feel so bad...and all the more money for me to spend on ...well ME! HAHA }:) Feeling a little evil today...
I say no gift as well. I
I say no gift as well. I have a spoiled and ungrateful SS17, very similar to your description of SD. I just found out yesterday he's coming for Easter. We haven't seen SS since Christmas (gifts, of course!) and I'm sure he's expecting more gifts for Easter. I already got a few things for my biokids' Easter basket but I did not get anything for SS this year. I asked DH what he wanted to do for SS. DH says let's get him a card this year. At least this way, SS knows that we are still thinking of him but we will not be buying his love with gifts.
Excellent idea!! "A
Excellent idea!!
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
Yes the last time we saw
Yes the last time we saw said ungrateful brat was Christmas....for all of an hour I think. All the while she's oohing and ahhing over everything her BF said. I wanted to puke...thank god for Peppermint Martinis! I loaded up on them before they got there so I wasn't really feeling any pain or paying all that much attention for that matter! HAHA
I agree - no gift. For
I agree - no gift. For years I gave gifts and cards to SD with very little appreciation or thank you. And forget about her giving me any present or card. It is DH's responsibility to buy and send any present or card.
Glynne