Horrible text message found in her phone....what should I do?
When I took the stepdragon to the hospital for xrays last week (she stole home base and twisted her ankle), I had the opportunity to snoop in her phone.
Last time I did this she was having some horrible conversation about the possibility of her being pregnant!!!! I was sick to my stomach but it is what it is - nothing we could do at that point.
This time I see a text saying that her dad is gay, he's a douche and that her step mom wasn't around so he is treating her like shit as usual and he even f'in hit her.
I almost threw up. I know my husband doesn't put a hand on her and neither do I - even though she could use a really good pop in the mouth every now and again. My husband has to have special clearance for his job and child abuse would get him fired - so I called him and he flipped out. He said take that phone and call a psych doctor cause she's getting checked out.
She got back from xray and asked for her phone back and I told her I couldn't give it to her because of that text message. I asked what the hell that was and what is wrong with her. She said that she wasn't the only one using her phone the night before, that her friend was using it at the game.
My question is do I believe her as she hasn't been known to make up outrageous stories - she embellishes a little and is melodramatic but hasn't made up stories like that before. If I am to believe her, should I mention something to the girl who she claimed sent it or to her mom (who I work with)?
Tell her that child abuse is
Tell her that child abuse is a very big deal and that you need to know which friend sent it and until she either admits it was her and explains herself or gives up a friend, the phone is gone.
"That's how women are, aren't they? We want to know that others have been where we've been, who understand our fragile places, and who see our sunsets in the same shades of blue" - Beth Moore
ditto. if i had used what
ditto. if i had used what she said as a "cover up" when i was a teenager, my parents telling me that they were going to contact my friend and her parents and go into detail would probably have scared me into telling the truth - whichever way it is. either that or i would have kept up the cover and told my friend .. just listen to her reaction.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
Totally agree with this
Totally agree with this post. I think it's the best way to handle it.
I would call the parents of
I would call the parents of the person she is saying used her phone..and tell them that your SD said thier kid used her phone and is accusing them of child abuse, .. then I would take her phone..you are not paying for a phone so her friends can use it.. jmo
that sounds like a very good
that sounds like a very good recovery from a very smart teenager to me.
if it was the other girl and the other girl is actually being abused, then telling her abusers could get her seriously injured.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
She's been so disrespectful
She's been so disrespectful lately - she has now officially lost all priviledges until the end of time. She will be going back to her mom's permanently in June and I am sick of being abused by her. I put usage controls on her phone because she was told to do the dishes and didn't want to do them until she saw fit (after 10 when she is supposed to be "off" her phone) - so the direct result of not obeying because of the phone is to loose the phone right?
I put the usage controls on and it shuts the phones abilities off at a certain time until a certain time. She evidently went back upstairs to break the rules (again with the blatant disrespect) and found out that her phone wouldn't work anymore.
I think I will mention it to the other girls mom when I see her tomorrow. Then she can either say oh really and be surprised or say oh yea, that's a problem we've had before. We'll see.
I can't wait for June. I'm contemplating renting a room somewhere until then so that I don't have to be here anymore. My marriage is in shambles because of her and it won't be able to be fixed until she is gone.
I'm beside myself.
Not to stay off topic, but
Not to stay off topic, but beaccountable I totally agree with you. All this easy access stuff will come at a price to kids. They're now finding that college kids are coming to school (and leaving school) without necessary planning skills (because they've never had to plan ahead to meet someone or stick to concrete plans) or decision making skills (because of easy access to parents for advice). So when we were teens and mom sent us to the store for something and we couldn't find it, we had to ask another human, or make a decision on a different brand, etc. Now kids don't have to do those things, they can call mom and discuss. Same with planning, there is no more "I'll meet you at the mall at 7 in front of Macy's", not they just text "I'm here, where r u?" My dh is seeing it affect the workplace. In fact he just let someone go (a young girl on an internship) because she was caught texting when someone was trying to explain work to her. Her excuse was "my roommate is having a problem". Too bad, you're at WORK now. Your roommate isn't the priority. Without the instant access, her friend would have had to wait to call. Too much instant gratification. No one has to be comfortable with themselves, their decisions or their problems because they never have to be alone or wait their turn for the phone, tv, radio, etc.
"That's how women are, aren't they? We want to know that others have been where we've been, who understand our fragile places, and who see our sunsets in the same shades of blue" - Beth Moore
thats why I am glad that we
thats why I am glad that we live in an area where we dont get good cell service..well it has its ups and downs..
I would NEVER give a cell phone to one of the kids.. I know 7 yr olds that have cell phones..of course the kids here think I am being unreasonable.. cuz so and so has it..well I am not so and so's mother..or step mother..when you get a job and you show you can be responsible you can get one..other than that do what I did..learn to entertain and socialize yourself.