How do you handle the emotions you feel after yet another blowup, outburst, psychotic episode from Step kids?
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I spend 1/2 the time knowing what I should do and not doing it because I don't know what to do with myself when SD goes crazy because whatever it is is not in HER plan.
I spend the other 1/2 of the time being verbally abused and treated like a live in Nanny or hired help.
How do you handle the anger that blinds you, the shaking, the urge to pummel the shit out of them, the stomach pain from having to restrain yourself 24/7?
Is it normal to feel guilty that things aren't working out as you imagined?
I tell myself everyday, multiple times a day, that I have done everything I can to make this work. To the point of giving in just to keep things peaceful. She is a complete bully and I'm not used to tolerating a bully.
I think I'm going crazy.
You need to completely
You need to completely disengage from SD and let the bio parents deal with her. If it's this bad, by reading your other posts I believe it is, then you might consider staying with a friend or relative until some chaos blows over. This isn't good for your psyche hon.
I would like to think that I
I would like to think that I would never hit her - but that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a sucker punch to the jaw.
I have no intentions of hitting her. I will get the hell out of here before she pushes me to that brink. She definitely talks likes she looking for a fist fight, and sadly she'd probably win.
The word was meant to be graphic to express the sincere anger that I am stuck with on, lately, a daily basis.
I wish someone would've warned me of how truly bad it could be - that even though she should be content and happy and successful because you care and you try so very hard to the right thing, she will not be any of those things unless she wants to be. Leaving SM helpless and distraught.
I love your suggestion about the prescriptions at the marriage license desk. Good idea!
Im considering drugs! valium
Im considering drugs! valium or something.
Yesterday after about 2 months now of not having the two of them in our house at the same time (ss9 and ss12) they were here yesterday, I was backed into a corner because it was something DH had agreed with their mother before talking to me, typical. So they came and then proceeded to tell our daughter who is 2 1/2 that she couldnt help or touch ss9's lego and couldnt play the xbox with ss12 and I was painting so she was just going between those two screaming because they wouldnt let her join in, it was totally shit and reminded me why I dont want them both here at the same time. Never again!! I was so stressed out I nearly went and bought cigarettes even though I gave up 7 weeks ago. DH is a total idiot when they are here, we dont communicate in any way because he is too busy defending them. So Im considering drugs and trying to get in contact with a family councillor to go and talk about our issues and get someone impartial to tell him what I say isnt shit.
I know how you feel and to make matters worse my daughter is completely acting up and I feel like strangling her aswell!!! I think Im losing the plot bigtime. Im in our bedroom on the computer hiding because I dont want to be around any of them.
defending the people who are
defending the people who are treating a 2 yr old like crap?? wtf is that?? and to make it worse its HIS kid.. wonder if I brought my 9 and 12 yr old over and they did the same things to your 2 yr old, he would probably be pretty pissed.. if the actions of my 9 and 12 yr old were effecting how his 2 yr old acted chances are they wouldnt be allowed over again.. and he would probably say how out of control, disrespectful little assholes they are.. BUT its ok for his kids to do it.. ?? dont make sense
When DH trys to pull the double standard crap I usually find a way like that to make my point, like "what if it was someone else, not your kids doing this.. how would you handle it?".. what makes his kids so damn special that they can mistreat other? a divorce? oh please everyone has a sob story, but letting them use it as a crutch and excuse for acting like complete assholes is not going to serve them well in life.. I dont think a judgge is gonna give a crap when the kids end up in front of him for whatever reason.
You shouldnt have to hide out or leave YOUR house because kids are disrespectful and rude... tell DH enough..he has to deal with his problems or he is gonna have more.
I want to jerk a knot in
I want to jerk a knot in Chapoopa's ass OFTEN....but I usually grab a glass of wine and go outside with my dogs to get away from him. Since DH and I have been together...I am now on Xanax. The reason? Chapoopa! I never felt like this before he started up with his BS! So....now I pop a pill, grab a glass and head for the back yard with my furbabies!
****I can do bad all by myself****
xanax has saved lives around
xanax has saved lives around here!!
I am not good with dealing
I am not good with dealing with my emotions. I bottle everything up. Last night at the dinner table I could hear myself screaming inside...You think you are going crazy, lol, I think Im already there!!! Pummel was a nice word to use, I was thinking more like ripping SS's arms off and beating him with them, lol. On a more serious note, have you tried therapy? or medication? I think it would help (even though I am not doing either but they have been recommended).
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
I have recently decided to
I have recently decided to take control of my life (thanks to this place!).. no longer will skids run me or suck the life out of me, BM can kiss my ass.. I will no longer keep my opinion to myself. If DH isnt gonna get a handle on the bullshit, I will.. and it WILL NOT be as nice as he would have done.
You are being treated like shit, and I am sure your self esteem has withered away to nothing..
let some of the anger out.. when she is verbally abusing you, tell her to pack her shit call her mom or dad and get the eff out.. NOW!! Get in her face, you are a person, not her personal doormat! Tell DH and her that the very next time she verbally abuses you, acts like a nut case, or bullies you that you WILL file charges on her.. and do it. I told SS12 (almost 13) that if he ever even things about telling me to watch my back again I will slap charges on his ass so fast his head will spin..I told him right in front of his dad that if he dont want to go by the rules he can pack his shit and wait on the porch for someone to come get him, weather it be his mom, dad, or the police.
Take a stand, you will feel soo much better! Plant your feet firmly!
I am more than ready for the
I am more than ready for the fight!! I refuse to let 2 kids and a psycho ex suck anymore life out of me!!
lmao.. couldnt help but
lmao.. couldnt help but giggle..
maybe she would be a happier person if she came out of the closet