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I saw this on another forum I have been reading...

seeingitfrombothsides's picture

Submitted by seeingitfrombot... on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 7:34pm

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General Discussion

Here is the situation:

"The child's grandparent, whom lives many states away, is going to be close enough that the family can go see the grandparent for the weekend. One parent asks the ex if the child can be in the car when a brand new driver is doing the driving (no license, recently permitted). The parent says no, not until she has been driving quite a while.

The parent that is going to see the grandparent says, OK the child can't go then because new step-daughter is going to be driving.

In a way, I can see my friend's POV, but in another, I can see the other parent's POV.

Who is right, the parent saying that the child can not ride with a newly permitted driver, or the parent saying that the newly permitted driver getting to drive holds more importance than the child seeing the biological grandparent?"

So, what do you think? Who is right?

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Submitted by CalgonTakeMeAway on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 7:41pm

I would be very nervous letting my child ride with a newly permitted driver, especially if it's a long trip. I think I would have to be on that side.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 7:59pm

No newly permitted driver would drive my kids anywhere. And if the hurt feelings of a teen over-ride seeing my kids family then so be it.

And if other people are going along then why aren't THEY driving? Driving experience should not be had with other children in the car, family or no family.

buttercookie's picture

Submitted by buttercookie on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 8:12pm

Which parent is right? Depends on whats more important to you, letting a newly permitted child drive a car when he/she can learn any other time or day or having a child see his/her biological grandparents (life is short, family time should be valuable esp since this kid doesn't get the opportunity to see grandparents any day)
Personally my value set would say the parent with the small child is right and the parent with the older (permitted) driver is wrong and the permitted driver can learn at another time.

seeingitfrombothsides's picture

Submitted by seeingitfrombot... on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 8:20pm

I have to say that I agree with the parent that said the child can not go if the SD is driving. There are a lot of areas where I am willing to bend, but not when it comes to safety.

seeingitfrombothsides's picture

Submitted by seeingitfrombot... on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 11:43am

Absolutely. I just know this is coming soon at our house and was curious what others thought.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 11:52am

When our kids got their permits I never let them drive while we had skids. But now that ss15 has his permit bm is doing everything she can to make us let him drive with the other kids. However she was the first to get mad if she thought my kids were driving her kids on their permits. Talk about double standards! I agreed that they shouldn't be driving the other kids on just their permits it was a no brainier. I just wish that bm would shut the hell up now that HER kid is driving she expects us to let him drive Every where like she does.

I said this to say that I wouldn't let my kids go either if a kid was driving on a permit but at the same IF I were to do something like that I wouldn't have said anything to the bm. That just gives her the option to say no the kids can't go and using as an excuse to keep the kids away just like my bm did.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 3:26pm

kay_nick_jay that is a very good thing to do as in the state we are in a kid with a permit is only allowed one friend in the car but can have as many siblings as the car can hold. But with a license they have no restrictions.