Lying and stealing
Quick background: I'm female and married to another. We've been married for 6 years now. I have my own biological son (13) and my wife has her own biological daughter (11). Wife works out of town and I'm here with both of our children. I have an amazing relationship with my son and step daughter.
Downfall is that even though I've raised my step daughter since she was 4, she's been lying and stealing for the past 3 years now. Every time I bring it up to my wife, she always tries to sugar coat it for my step daughter when they have a conversation or my wife will manipulate the conversation with me. It's frustrating.
I understand that children tell white lies and steal bcuz their brains are still developing. Still, I can assure u I thought I instilled great parenting in her bcuz I've never had problems with my son stealing or lying.
I've had plenty of convos with my step daughter about stealing and lying. If I ask her if she saw something that has gone missing, she tells me she hasn't and I end up finding it in her bedroom. It has been to the point of her stealing my makeup and I suggested that I would take her to the store to buy her own that way she would stop, but it hasn't. I know some may say I'm rewarding her for bad behavior but that isn't the case at all.
Anyway, I'm to the point where I feel stuck. No matter how many conversations I have with my step daughter or my wife about my step daughter stealing and lying, it just doesn't get through to them. I really feel like they don't understand the severity of the issues. My step daughter is already 11 and she's stealing and lying...I cannot imagine what else she'll be capable of once she becomes a teen! Advice or related stories are appreciated. Thanks in advance.