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Is time to call it quits?

ao's picture

Sad I'm so relieved to finally find this website...I have no one who can advise me because no one I know has been in this situation. I'm glad I'm not alone...here it goes I just found out from my bio daughter who moved out and away after becoming an adult....she confessed all the teen sins she committed while living with me, her SD and step sisters (16,21) and another Bio sister (16). Furthermore she also told me my SD sins which in every ocassion I knew but when I tried to tell her father he sided with her and he accused me of lying and hating his daughter. My Bio D lied at the time because she didn't want to be snitch bcuz she grew close to her StepSis. My BD now confesses that I wasn't crazy and that I was right all along....and she is very sorry for not saying anything during my arguments with my husband. My SD has lied about alot of things to me and her father and he always sided with her....It got to the point where I stop getting involved even when I knew she was doing something wrong bcuz it caused arguments that got out of hand and I never won. (I know its not about winninng but shouldn't he believe me... I'm his wife?....anywway before my daughter's confessions we could not come to an agreement on chores and keeping bedrooms clean...My Husband decided on his own not to have any rules anymore about chores...which seems ike perfect timing since his adult daughter and teenage daughter doesn't clean there room or do any chores around the house and i pointed it out... he said he didn't want to upset his adult daughter by telling what to do cuz she's an adult now in the meanwhile my 16 yr old daughter does bcuz i make her. I can't take it anymore.... i suggest counseling but he refuses....Is been five long years i don't think i can do this anymore....advice plz

ddakan's picture

i don't think quitting is the answer. it sux royally, but it gets way better when the kids get older...that is if you can get over your resentment for him not supporting you.

he is being selfish and wrong. we can see that. your daughter will be a better person for it. be close to her and let her know that we do it because it will make us a better adult.

my skids are 21, 20 and 17.
my bios are 19, 18, 12 and 9.

i've been through living hell, but its getting better the older they get!! if you love him, then fight through it. i wish i had this site 10 years ago!!!! i just found it yesterday Smile

StillSearching's picture

When I moved out of my parents house I too confessed to my mother all the bad things that I was doing while living with them. She was upset but she knows the person I am now and we can't change the past. I don't know what it is with men and confrontation because my BF has a 17 year old daughter that I know does things also and when I tell him he gets defensive. Maybe if there is a way that you could confront the girls and let them know "hey I know what is going on and what went on and it has to stop" maybe that way they won't feel as threatened or cornered. My mother always did that to me and it worked like a charm. But your girls are different than me obvioulsy but I just want you to know it is common. Good luck. Smile