Need to vent
I know it's a dh problem, but these easter holidays have me cured! It seems like things agreed at mediation 2020 have gone out the window.
On the first Friday evening of Easter, bm emails dh that 'the weekends have got messed up ' she should be having him that Sunday. Well she IS having him as they've made plans. Oh well I'd made plans too. But that's on dh for not writing every single weekend day on calendar to year end. Or for enforcing that ss comes when he's meant to , instead of keep swapping days last minute. That's how we got out of sync!
Ss is still only 12, but since he went to high school in September there has been a sudden escalation in wanting to swap days all the time, as he's doing something with his friends. Dh keeps saying OK.
So, we had him that Saturday instead of Sunday. He walks in absolutely shattered and miserable as sin. What's up? We had a sleepover at my mums and didn't go to bed until 3am. Oh wonderful. Insert eye roll. We have a day planned at the local park where they do activities such as archery and taekwondo , meet friends there. Ss moans he's too hot, tired, thirsty and wants to come back to the house, the whole time. Ruins our fun and we leave, he promptly falls asleep on sofa the whole afternoon.
Obvious question, why aren't some of these sleepovers arranged on bms nights, and, ruining her plans, dealing with an overtired selfish brat ?!
Fast forward to last night, 4pm ss is texting his dad, directly as usual, to say can he go to a sleepover instead of coming here? Dh obviously said yes, then messaged me. My answer was 'oh ffs, eyeroll'
Then I sent a lengthy answer that the holidays have been a mess thanks to all this allowing ss to do what he wants and probably bm too, what ever happened to bm and dh discussing changes first so dh isn't the bad guy. Ps, if this continues don't assume I'll include him in trips abroad next year coz I don't have to reward a spoilt kid for showing up when it's worth his while.
No answer and I pretty much ignored dh last night. But hey , at least I got to eat dinner! Coz here's the other fun thing , along with ss showing when he wants , he also eats when he wants.
He has more activities on our nights now so dh goes chasing round the county til 8pm. It was agreed he'd eat at bms after school as 8 is too late. Have a snack when he gets in by all means...
Now because I have a stomach condition sometimes I will want my dinner, sometimes I won't or will be weighing it up... somehow its become habit for ss to roll in saying he's hungry and dh give him my meal or portion of a meal , without even asking!
I said this is not OK. So dh now messages me halfway through a day to say can ss have some dinner ?
I think I want dh to have a talk with ss and say this isn't continuing, we aren't a hotel. And I'd love him to wing bm too but she'd probably find it amusing so no. So do I tell him to do that or just totally ignore the lot of it , and only feed and make plans for dd6