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So glad I'm not alone...

fitmama81's picture

Submitted by fitmama81 on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 8:31pm

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SIGH
I am so glad I found this website!! I am married to a wonderful (most of the time) man, his BD14 lives with us. I have known her for 7 years. I'm also 7 months pregnant with my own BD. I am excited about having my own child, but so apprehensive about how SD14 is going to react. She is SO needy, emotionally, impatient, entitled, snotty, and undisciplined. She doesn't have a black heart, but she's definitely got issues. Most of them stem from her BM and while she does see her, they have a VERY rocky relationship. I have been trying to be a good mother figure and example to her, but her disrespectful behavior is intolerable and I can't stand it. It is stressing me emotionally and physically and I'm pregnant so that isn't a good thing!! We are doing everything we can to make sure she doesn't feel like she's 2nd fiddle to the new baby (taking her to ultrasounds, etc.), but she is still getting crazy. I think compared to some of your skids, she's not that bad, but I can't take the disrespectful attitude and the whining. I am hoping to find help on this forum. I am just glad I'm not alone!!

geminigemini's picture

Submitted by geminigemini on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 10:12pm

I wish I were in a position to offer helpful advice. I also just found this website and posted the thread titled "Animosity towards Adult Step Sons".
All I can do is reassure you that, as you say, you are NOT alone.

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Tue, 02/21/2012 - 7:23am

You def aren't alone. I had my first bioson when ss was 7 and sd was 6. They live with us full time. We had the same snotty rude behavior from SD (not from ss though). I think bio families even have this problem with older kids.

She's 14, a selfish age to begin with and has had 14 year to get used to being the center of attention as an only child. There's really nothing you or anyone can do to make her ok with it. She will just get over it eventually.

The baby will take up more of your time and attention than she will..... That's just a fact of life. She will get pissy about it, oh well. The more you cater to her, the more she will feel justified in acting out. Any form of positive reenforcement (extra attention, extra stuff, extra slack for her behavior) will just encourage her to keep it up.