This royally sucks, and I have been there many times myself. Your biggest thing is to stay consistent. How do you discipline? If he refused to watch the movie downstairs- that would equal no movie and 3 mins in the corner for timeout. After time out is done, you have to discuss that timeout time was for throwing a tantrum. "Things don't always work SS, and you have to learn to be patient while we try to figure them out or adapt. So because you threw a fit, try to be cool for the next 30 mins and then we can try a movie again, until then, either sit on the couch and watch what is on tv now, or go play." Either way, don't give in with the movie until you see some positive behavior. It is so tough I know!
But if SO is so busy, and 9/10 chances are that BM doesn't discipline if your situation is anything like mine, someone has to provide a constant and discipline. Believe me, you think it won't work, you'll want to give up, Lord knows I wanted to many times, would feel horrible about having to put him in the corner, but guess what, now the tantrums have gone down, and he knows when he's in trouble. All I have to do is to point to the corner, and he runs. Rule of thumb is 3 mins for 3 years old. I set the timer on the oven and have even used an egg timer too. When it goes off, shut the timer off, go over get on his level and discuss. Always end with a hug.
SO needs to realize if the behaviors do not stop now, they are only going to get worse in the long run and end up with trouble in schol and into adulthood too! SO and you need to have a conversation while SS is not around and tell him that if he isn't going to do it, then you are. But that he needs to be supportive of you as well in that you both are in this together.
I know I had to lay it out on the line for my DH, and it has made the world of difference, because he used to grab SS out of the corner after a minute bc SS would bawl the whole time. Its good for them to cry and realize they did something wrong. I walked out of the house the last time he pulled him out and told him that if it wasn't going to be consistent, then in a few years while SS is in jail, I would not care, because I had tried, and he was denying me. Things are much better now!
Sorry for the multi post, im
Sorry for the multi post, im on my phone
Sorry for the multi post, im
Sorry for the multi post, im on my phone
This royally sucks, and I
This royally sucks, and I have been there many times myself. Your biggest thing is to stay consistent. How do you discipline? If he refused to watch the movie downstairs- that would equal no movie and 3 mins in the corner for timeout. After time out is done, you have to discuss that timeout time was for throwing a tantrum. "Things don't always work SS, and you have to learn to be patient while we try to figure them out or adapt. So because you threw a fit, try to be cool for the next 30 mins and then we can try a movie again, until then, either sit on the couch and watch what is on tv now, or go play." Either way, don't give in with the movie until you see some positive behavior. It is so tough I know!
But if SO is so busy, and 9/10 chances are that BM doesn't discipline if your situation is anything like mine, someone has to provide a constant and discipline. Believe me, you think it won't work, you'll want to give up, Lord knows I wanted to many times, would feel horrible about having to put him in the corner, but guess what, now the tantrums have gone down, and he knows when he's in trouble. All I have to do is to point to the corner, and he runs. Rule of thumb is 3 mins for 3 years old. I set the timer on the oven and have even used an egg timer too. When it goes off, shut the timer off, go over get on his level and discuss. Always end with a hug.
SO needs to realize if the behaviors do not stop now, they are only going to get worse in the long run and end up with trouble in schol and into adulthood too! SO and you need to have a conversation while SS is not around and tell him that if he isn't going to do it, then you are. But that he needs to be supportive of you as well in that you both are in this together.
I know I had to lay it out on the line for my DH, and it has made the world of difference, because he used to grab SS out of the corner after a minute bc SS would bawl the whole time. Its good for them to cry and realize they did something wrong. I walked out of the house the last time he pulled him out and told him that if it wasn't going to be consistent, then in a few years while SS is in jail, I would not care, because I had tried, and he was denying me. Things are much better now!
My SS is exactly like yours
My SS is exactly like yours and im at the point where Im considering giving up trying to make a relationship.