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Why is she so financially irresponsible?

lemonlime's picture

Here’s a clause in DH’s custody papers: 

“While any obligation to pay child support exists, both parties are required to maintain medical insurance on the minor children so long as such insurance is reasonably available and either party is required to reimburse the other for 1/2 of the cost of maintaining such insurance. Any of the reasonable and necessary medical and dental cost of the minor children that are not covered by insurance, including deductibles and copayments, shall be paid 1/2 by each party.”

So biobleh and DH both have to have insurance for the kids? You can have more than one? 

Anyway, I’m frustrated. DH provides the insurance. I’m more than positive biobleh doesn’t have them listed on hers, which is fine. Every damn year he gets a 30 day notice for collections. No warning from her nor from the doctors. This year, $471. That’s more than one visit. Collections told me they sent notices. Ok. Where? Yeah, that’s her house. There have been absolutely no notices sent to this location. Oh of course you can’t do anything about that. Still our fault, right? They have it on their end DH is responsible. Unless we have evidence of it being different, DH will be responsible. I sent them the custody papers. They’re both responsible. 1/2. Read it. They agree to DH only paying 1/2 and the other 1/2 is their problem to deal with. 

Just got a letter stating it is well within their legal right to pursue for payment after DH. Ugghhh so frustrating. Skids have been staying the majority of the year with biobleh as she had moved to a different state. I know for a fact DH hasn’t taken them to the the doctor which requires name and info for the parent taking them in as well as signature on who will be responsible. I’m calling tomorrow to get this info to fight that.

Biobleh loves to throw the custody papers in DH’s face when it benefits her but turns a blind eye when she has responsibilities to own up to. DH can try and get her to pay the 1/2 but that’s just a waste of time because she won’t give a damn. It’s not her credit score and no doubt hers is already majorly screwed.

tog redux's picture

He will have to take her back to court - it's not the doctor's office's responsibility to chase her for payment - the guarantor is usually the person whose name is on the insurance.

And yes - you can have two insurance plans on someone, but one will be primary and one secondary - so the secondary one picks up anything the primary one won't pay.

lemonlime's picture

No, I meant I’m calling the doctor’s office to get a copy of the check-in sheets that were filled for the visits to then send to the debt collector. If it comes to it, we’ll dispute the other half.

He’s been in collections with a cable TV service provider before (she signed as him) and I disputed this too. 

Debt collectors specifically told us “Well we have here DH is responsible so unless you have otherwise.” And thwy agreed when we did have evidence of “otherwise” and now after agreeing they’re going back on what they said. 

tog redux's picture

Your best bet is to take her to court to force her to pay her half. Debt collectors don't care who is responsible, they just want their money.  DH should pay it and then take all the receipts to Family Court.

Sparkl3s's picture

When you take someone to the doctor the person who provides the insurance isn't always the one responsible for what insurance doesn't cover. The doctors office should be able to provide the form signed by your DH where he assumes that responsibility. If BM forged his signature I'd let them know she needs to be billed. 
 

when in doubt why don't you call the insurance company to verify? you should be able to dispute the creditors and they should remove marks off his credit. They have to be able to provide you a signed form by your hubby, hey debt collectors are going off your hubby's fear of his credit being ruined. Don't speak with them, you can write letters directly to the credit bureaus if you have something like Credit Karma you can even dispute it there. 

notarelative's picture

Each parent can hold insurance on a child. In my first marriage we both carried family insurance. They'd bill my  insurance first, and then bill his insurance for the balance. Mine was first because in my state the rule is that the parent whose birthday is first in the year is billed first and that was me.

First thing I'd do is call the doctor office and ask for an accounting that shows both insurances being billed. 

BethAnne's picture

The child is “their” child. They are both responsible for the child’s health and the court order sets out who pays what. Who took them to the Doctor’s office is irrelevant. Talk to a lawyer to see what they suggest as the best way to get bm to be responsible for her 50% is. 

advice.only2's picture

She's not going to pay it, we fought this same uphill battle when we had custody of Spawn and she was on our insurance. We were not aware that Meth Mouth took Spawn to the doctor's for everything and didn't pay the co-pays.

When we got custody and took her in for a check up we got hit with a hefty amount of unpaid co-pays. We talked to our lawyer who advised us to either pay it in full and then sue Meth Mouth for the cost, or have the office send the notice to collections who would then send the bill to DH since it was his insurance.

Sometimes you have to swallow the bitter pill and pay the bill. We did that for many many years and we never got CS. It was with great joy when I removed Spawn from my insurance (we had switched it a few years after we got custody), a few months later we started getting bills from a doctors office for Spawn for unpaid bills, thankfully at that point she was an adult and we were able to direct them to her last known location.

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

Out of curiosity, what does biomom do for a living?

or

Could your husband afford all of "his" kid bills without your support?

These are important questions when deciding how to properly feck biomom over.

Jcksjj's picture

My interpretation of the first part is that they can decide which insurance of theirs to use (or both) and the other party is supposed to pay half of the cost of that insurance. Its worded oddly, but I think that's what it means. So if mom has the insurance for $250 a month, dad would be paying $125 to her for his part of "maintaining insurance." 

As far as the bills, call and see if there is a way mom can be listed as the guarantor instead of dad, so shes responsible for the payments. And yes, you'll have to go back to court to get the money out of her. Probably once to have them tell her she needs to pay it and then again to enforce it if she doesnt. Is there a specific process laid out for it? Like for my ODS I'm supposed to (or was supposed to before it got switched to me being 100% responsible) submit in writing to him and then he has 30 days to pay.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

If BM isn't providing insurance, she's in violation of a court order. I'd gather up all the bills, total up her share, document that she isn't paying her share of medical bills, and take her to court for contempt. Judges don't like having their orders disregarded. 

I swear some of these BMs are so ignorant that they can't even comprehend what the divorce decree states. 

shamds's picture

of fraud by signing as the exhusband, taking out cable as the exhusband, why is she not being taken to court for fraudulently impersonating as your husband? Many countries consider this a serious crime and it is punishable 

lemonlime's picture

I feel like it has to do with the state we live in... They seem to favor moms.. 

It’s the same way how when they got their child custody order, she was able to afford a lawyer because DH’s tax refunds went to her address (don’t know why DH didn’t double check the address) and she somehow was able to cash it and used that for her lawyer fees. It was about $1500 and she was given a soft slap on her hand and made to repay $1000. 

Rags's picture

Odds of getting this effectively dealt with are slim and none in our experience.  We had nearly verbatim language in our CO.  The SpermIdiot refused to carry insurance on SS until more than 10 years after the CO was ordered. SO either my DW or I carred SS on our insurance. As responsible parents actually do.  he SpermIdiot's CS was increased by $15mo to pay for half of the increased premium to cover SS on my insurance.   When the SpermIdiot finally got insurance (shitty insurance I might add) the judge refused to recognize his coverage of SS since he had failed to insure SS for a decade and since our insurance was top tier.  There was much whining, crying and gnashing of teeth over that.

The SpermIdiot never paid a penny of his half of medical costs not covered by insurance.  We brought that up in family law court and the Judge told us it was not his problem and to sue them in small claims court.  So, over the years we have had our lawyer send them a statement twice a year including his share of SS uncovered medical costs plus penalties and interest in line with the IRS penalty and interest schedule for tax deviants.  Hey, if the IRS can bill at those rates why not us?

He whines and cries that we are harrasing him, etc.... We tell him to pay his damned bills or suffer.  Eventually we will likely stop rubbing his nose in his status as a useless POS ... but not quite yet. I figure when SS turns 45 or so may be the right time to stop billing the SpermIdiot. Or... maybe we will just sue him for the $100K or so he will owe us by then... on the $10K of actual bills.

We also had to battle an ER that they took SS to when he got a rusty fish hook stuck in his leg on a SpermClan camping trip.  They kept calling us regarding confirmation that he had an active tetnus shot. We were on a trip of our own and had no access to his shot records and told them to take him to the ER.  They kept bugging the shit out of us over it until I told them to get their useless asses in a car, take the kid the ER or I would have an emergency helicopter service land at their camp site and fly him to the ER and they could pay for it.  Off they went on the several hours drive to the ER.  They named me as the responsible party with the hospital and the hospital started harrasing us for payment. We kept the hospital wrapped up with our lawyer on the premise that we had not contracted the service and the Hospital needed to go after the SpermClan.  Since the insurance was in my name ultimately we ended up paying the non covered portion of the ER visit and adding it to the "You are a useless POS" twice a year bill we send to the SpermClan.

They won't ever pay it.  So it is just an excercise of being a pain in their asses at this point.

Maybe I will put a lien on one of their properties.   

 

Diablo