Court Supervision on SS's Health
My SS is severely obese. He started seeing a nutritionist and a doctor for his weight back in late October 2012. BM does NOT think there is a problem with her 10 year old weighing in at 207 lbs at 4'9" tall. He's gained over 20 lbs since he started seeing the nutritionist (he was averaging a 30 lbs a year, since he was 5, weight increase before that according to his medical record) and he has told my husband that he hasn't changed anything about how he eats or the garbage he's taking to school for his lunch when he's at his mom's house.
My husband is taking his ex back to court for several things and his lawyer said that she can petition the court for a court supervision for my SS's health. That way if BM keeps canceling and rescheduling appointments or not doing what the doctors say (like her refusing to put him into therapy over food like the doctor recommended, etc) then the courts can step in and remove SS from her custody.
Has anyone ever heard of this kind of court supervision? How exactly is it monitored? I know we'll find out eventually through our own personal experience, but just wanted to see what to expect before it happens.
Would not it make more sense
Would not it make more sense for Daddy to petition for custody thus ending the need for all the repeat court hearings? Mommy is not going to change until jail is held over her head and that won't happen until the court has made repeated threats.
At 10 years of age the boy is going to need intense counseling along with a change in diet - a change he is going to fight tooth and nail because he is used to eating his high fat/sugar diet. Expecting him to suddenly agree to eat fruits and vegetables (expect him to not recognize those things as food) and forgo his daily "treats" isn't going to come easily.
Are you ready to take on the task? Beware of what you ask for.
To directly answer your question I've not heard of it but its easy to imagine the court intervening based on simple health issues. Western society is becoming aware of, especially in the U.S,a plague of obesity going on. It's well known that children like this are headed for diabetes and a short life of ill health. I would certainly hope that the court would want to help a father pull his child out of this situation.
The procedure is simple. The court order supervision, probably the same nutritionist the boy is seeing now. He'll tell everyone that if the boy doesn't start losing weight that someone should let the court know so more extreme measures can be considered such as a change in custody. In effect s/he'll be telling Mommy either shape up or lose the kid.
My husband wants to have a
My husband wants to have a guarantee that he'll get custody and he thinks he'll have that if the court is backing him with the weight issue if he gets the court supervision in place. I don't know if that's the right or wrong plan of attack, but we live in a state where moms are definitely given all the power.....at least it feels that way. This is the first time he's taken BM back to court since their divorce 9 years ago so he's already asking for a lot of changes to the original agreement. For some reason, he's scared of asking for too much at one time.
Counseling was recommended by the doctor. I think BM is really scared of SS going to counseling so she told the doctor that it was unnecessary. We are hoping the court order will force her to put him in counseling. I'm not sure why she feels that counseling is unnecessary, but I hope he's forced to go so that way we find out.
I don't know if I'm ready to take on the task of having my SS full-time but I'll do it if we have to. It'd be nice to have him more than 4 days a month as he feels like he can just starve himself at our house because we don't cater to the 5 things he's willing to eat so he always claims he's sick or has a headache or whatever to get out of eating. It'd be nice if we had the 12 days in a row so he can't run home to mommy who will get him McDonald's french fries and a super sized Sprite to wash it down with. Sure, it'd be a fight, but at least it'd be one we stand a chance of winning.
My husband originally pushed
My husband originally pushed for him to start seeing a dr because SS started showing symptoms of diabetes. Believe it or not, all of his blood work came back excellent. He's not even pre-diabetic. I felt kind of bad for hoping that something was wrong with SS to scare his mom into doing the right thing, but since everything came back normal, she got the attitude that he's fine and she's not doing anything wrong even though the dr told her that he's anything but fine with his weight and all his blood work could change any day if he keeps up his bad habits and attitude about food.
I think your brother's son
I think your brother's son and my SS have the same BM. He told the nutritionist that he eats up to 5 bags of extra butter microwave popcorn a day.....and that's on a school day starting as soon as he gets out of school.
I've known my SS since he was 3 and he's never had good eating habits or been forced to eat properly and believe it or not, it's just gotten worse. I think he eats less variety now than he did when he was 3.
BM's recent excuse as to why they haven't started exercising is because "it's cold out." He's worse at gaining weight in the summer so I can't wait for her to be asked again when it's nice outside why he's gaining weight like a sumo wrestler. My husband takes my SS to the pool every time he has him for the weekend, but since that's only 4 days a month, it doesn't help much if at all.
Thanks for sharing what you know about the court supervision. That's great that it might be a weekly weigh-in and it would work fairly quickly from the sound of it. It would be nice for BM to be "scared straight" and have a judge telling her that what she is doing is wrong. I'm hopeful that the fear of losing her son would be enough to get my SS the help he needs.
My SS has his own room at our house so we are able to have live at our house no problem.
Wow, that is big. Hats off to
Wow, that is big. Hats off to the court for doing something about it. I am always baffled by parents who make deliberate bad choices for their kids because it is easier for the parent(s).