We've been married since 1986, both with a daughter from previous marriage. I knew it wasn't going to be the Brady Bunch, and I really tried, but as many of you know, sometimes trying isn't enough, with bratty kids and oblivious DHs!
SD now lives about 2 hrs away, with kids 3 and 7, and BF. When they come, they stay over at least one night. We don't have spare beds, never seem to have what they want to eat, etc. SD tries to call all the shots, and has people stopping in here, even when we have other plans. The kids run and scream and don't listen. I have anxiety issues, and really get stressed. DH deals with it better than me, but it bugs him too. He rarely says anything, though. We have gotten to where we try to go visit them instead, and we don't stay. We pay for dinner, etc. This works out much better. But this year, SD has waited too long, and may not be able to coordinate a time off work when we are off and can come up there. I'm hoping that won't mean they come here! I have repeatedly told DH i intend to say something about some of this. I also said i'd probably try to make myself scarce if it gets too bad. But then I said we BOTH need to put our foot down. DH adds to the crap sometimes, by letting the kids run and jump on him, giving them sugary drinks constantly, etc. When they get here, he'll ask what they want to drink, and if we don't have it, even though he knows we don't, he'll ask me if we do. And what they like changes with every visit. I hate that my family has to put up with me being so stressed at Christmas. I hate to think of bringing them all to my mom's Christmas Eve dinner. I hate entertaining anyway. i'm pretty quiet and like it when just DH and I are here. The oldest grandkid has broken things and has also stolen from a kid at school, so that makes me uncomfortable, too. we really don't see them that often, they haven't been here in over a year. we go see them for the grandkids' birthdays. i should count my blessings, but just the thought of them being here is making me ill! i know we've been lucky the last couple years, and gone there. It is good to know people here will understand, instead of criticizing me and making me feel like a monster. If I am, it's because life has made me that way!