His daughter interferring, age 48
Not up on short forms used here yet.I tried to post 2 times when H came into the room.He can see over my shoulder, then I have to start over.I'll try to be brief.His D has this need to protect her daddy.Married 16 mths..nothing but heartache.Last straw last Sat when she tried to haev be put out of my house ( daddy bought it after we married for us my name not on deed)when H and I have an argument he tells his D.. he gives me the silent treatment and so I send him an email telling him how I feel, nothing threatning, incriminating, but personal.He gets his D to print it, send it to his friends.I found the letter in his coat pocket.All hell breaks loose..his D comes here and spends 3 hours in his "mancave" giving him advice..texts my sons,tells them there is a problem.Oldest son calls me and is worried about me.I go outside and ask him why he has to involve my kids( I have 4, 3 sons live an hour away) my dotter lives up the st as does his D..she sends her 19 yr old dotter to get my dotter for help)She then starts screaming at me calling me phycho bitch, I need help, she put her face 2 inches from my face, pushes me and he says nothing.I said" I think you need to leave" she goes ballistic" don't you ever tell me to leave my fathers house you FN bitch' I said" I've had it and say I'm calling police..she screams "Bring it on bitch" tries to get in our house, before me so I shut the door and lock it, dial police and at the same time she on her cell calling police to have me taken away.My dotter comes down and I let her in.Cops come , one outside to talk to H an dhis D and one in the house.Cops goes outside and she's still screaming becaseu he tells her hse should leave this is the matrimonial home.."you've got to be kidding, my dad bought this house"..cop comes back in the house and says" it is not hard to tell she is controlling adn has a prolem, gives me a number for Victims rights and tells me she knows now this is our house and will be leaving.Also tells H to leave for awhile and come back when he's cooled off..althought he says nothing...He tells my dottter he doesn't want me her, so my D says best fork over some money for my mum.His D freaks again..right in my D face and she tells her to back off.anyway..he comes back later and tells me he doesn't want me to leave when I say I'm going to a shelter.I've been ok..trying to see if he's sorry..nope, he still thinks it's ok what his little girl did..last night , she had the nerve to knock at our door .I open it thinking its a neighbour..she comes right in, says Hello ( my name) and I just ignore her and go to our bedroom.She brings daddy food, enough for one person..thinks she can just walk back into my life and start her shit again.After and our of listening to her obnoxiuos loud voice, she leaves, he asks me" are you upset that (she ) came by" I say , yes I can't believe she came here and thinks I am should forgive her for what she did" so he comes up with"so now my kids aren't allowed to come here" ( he always twists things to suit himself) "that is NOT what I said" adn go to bed..I am making palns, but afrid to leave that she will come and take over, go through my stuff and cause me more heartache..I can't trust my own husband who is brainwashed by his adult daughter..advice more then welcome..I am recovering fr0m cancer and can't take the stress ( we couldn't even haave Christmas together because of her.I went to my D he went to his..
Should have stayed at the
Should have stayed at the women's shelter! Get some boxes,pack up your "stuff", call a friend to "house" your stuff and go stay with one of your kids!
This sounds like a Jerry Springer episode! You deserve better than this!
Big mistake here eh? Move
Big mistake here eh? Move out. None of these people are interested in changing anything to accomodate you. Sounds like the daughter is worried you'll gold dig her out of an inheritance.
yes, she told me that about
yes, she told me that about her and her brother and their inheritence..he is so badly in debt, they won't get anything anyway..we have no bank account together,I have never seen his will ( and he says I never will) his S and D are executors,he has his own credit cards. I live oon my $500 OAS
Is this a joke? Why did you
Is this a joke? Why did you marry him? If this is real, why are you STILL married to him? Yikes.
I was very ill, hemoraging
I was very ill, hemoraging (sp) from cervical cancer.At first he took care of me, called an abulance for me.Took me to the cancer clinic for massive doses of radiation 5 days a week, for 5 months.I will always have the side effects they've( the Dr and oncology nurse) told me..so I was very grateful for his kindness.As soon as I started to get better, he expected me to stay in the house cooking and cleaning, while he is out in his "mancave" ( I hate that) making birdhouse..sure he cuts the grass on his riding lawnmower, but I put inmost of the veggie garden and palnted flowers, then I got told "I'll do the outside work, you do the inside work. His bully daughter is afraid she won't get her inheritence if the house is half mine. I hav eno money, no car right now to get out.I'm afraid to leave my things behind becaseu I know she'll go through everything..
Start putting away money.
Start putting away money. Start researching hard-ass attorneys. Make a plan to get out of the marriage, and MAKE SURE you get half the house and everything else you are entitled to. Plan quietly. You need to get out of this marriage and do it in a smart way.
Are you in America? If so,
Are you in America? If so, get a restraining order ASAP. At least then if she comes into your home you can call the cops.
I'm in Canada, I do not want
I'm in Canada, I do not want her here..like i said she pushed me and called me horrid names, I told the police I was afraid of her.The cops said she needed to call. and make an appointment to see her father..guess I will need to be more assertive.Still feeling the side effects of radiation treatments I had for cervical cancer.
Your DH is making you - or
Your DH is making you - or trying to - make you feel guilty because he knows in his heart and soul that he shouldn't let her behave towards you this way & he shouldn't stand by and allow you to be treated this way either.
Also, you are a recovering patient - you need to take care of yourself and make yourself the priority not these 2 nutjobs. I've put up with a lot of sh!t in my time as a step-parent but I'm baffled frankly that ANYONE would treat someone in your situation this way neever mind his wife!!. You are the priority not him.
Thank you..he just won't
Thank you..he just won't stand up to her..or stand up for me..when she came to visit daddy, she brought leftovers from Christmas in plastic containers...just enough for him.I asked him about that..he said" there is lots there for you" I ordered soup at Tim Hortons, there was nothing left after he ate his turkey dinner.She is just calling here everyday and harrassing me my calling and leaving messages directed at her father and by dropping in she's saying" this is my dads house and I'll come and go as I please..I think he's telling her I don't feed him..well, after being treated like this are you stupid enough to think I am going to cook for you , you fool.
Thank you for your
Thank you for your advice..you are so right.The social worker at the shelter I spoke with asked me this " is he aware you can make him sell the house, regardless if you are on the deed or not and he has to give you half? If he tries to sell the house without my consent, he can be charged"..she's been working with women and going to court with them for years, so I think she knows the laws here in Canada.I am secretly making plans and trying to sell and get rid of things I don't need when I get my own place.
You need a good attorney and
You need a good attorney and a restraining order against this SD. Protect yourself and do it now so there is a record of what is going on. You also need to get out of that marriage, he is not going to change. What I guarantee he will do is everything and anything to short you on what is rightfully yours through the marriage and she will egg him on.
I agree with the earlier poster that he might be asking you to stick around while he gets an attorney and gets things set up for his benefit, not yours.
Sticking around this bunch will only get worse on you as you get older....its called elder abuse and so many times the elderly person takes it rather than be alone and because they are dependent on others in old age.
OP = after rereading your
OP = after rereading your post hear this: YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE SITUATION and YOU ARE BEING ABSUED...maybe not physically yet, but give it time. Abusers are always nice between episodes. If your husband is going along with his daughter, then he sees nothing wrong with her actions towards you and, from what you said about when the police came, he was pretty hot under the collar at you then for trying to deal with his daughter.
As I, and others, have said, get out of that nut house. Get a restraining order and a good lawyer so that if this nutty SD comes at you you have recourse. Somehow I doubt a restraining order is going to stop her if your husband wants her around.
None of them is going to change and none of them give a ratz arse about you, your health, etc.
#1 marital home yours and his
#1 marital home yours and his never ever leave it unless he's beating you. #2 if your planning to end this marriage start stocking away half of all money in a separate place #3 get a restraining order and a lawyer against his kid and him have him removed from the house and start the divorce.
This whole situation is screwed up. The "action plan" above is exactly what I'd do in your shoes.
Yes ..the whole situation is
Yes ..the whole situation is screwed up..I cannot stock away any money because I have no access to his money, or his credit cards..we have NO bank account together( advice from his dotter of course ) I talked to social worker today, I can get free councelling and a free lawyer.She also told me because his D was not charged for pushing me, I can't get a restraining order against her..In order to have him removed , he has to asault me..he's being smart right now..not calling me names..
Right this minute the trouble
Right this minute the trouble making bully is outside shovelling snow for her daddy..he can pay the kid next door to do it..I'm betting he called her on his cell..the snowblower is at her house, his son-in-law broke it..he best not bring her inside..I am afraid I'll flip..been shaking since I saw her..she has this abnormal thing about looking after daddy..bringing him food, calling every day..he is not an invalid..$#@^@&!%
So all has been fine till
So all has been fine till this morning.I was up first, the phone rang. I chose not to answer it becaseu it is his 2 faced friend who was sent the letter by H is dotter.He yells from the bedroom" Answer the FN phone" I say "no" it's for you and he tells me his friend has done nothing to me. I tell him"yes he has, by reading the letter" and I don't know who else has read it or who his friend sent it to..he goes on about me getting over it again adn now I am pissed that he still thinks I am in the wrong for sending the letter in the first place.Then it's a smart remark about his son, something about I don't like him..I've never said that , because he never comes her.
Tomorrow going to see about my own car, get that settled, insurance and all tht goes with it.Thinking long and hard about leaving again..same old BS.Nothings canged like he promised, my antique table is still in the basement...still no affection bla bla bal..now back to the silent treatment..he's been outside in his "mancave" all day..they never change, only till they get you where they want you..what a joke..at least his D isn't bothering me , that's a plus !
you have a right to choose
you have a right to choose whom you wish to speak to. should my DH's family call our home, i will not answer. what's the point? they don't want to speak to me and i don't want to speak to them.
Chickadee do you have a job
Chickadee do you have a job and contribute to the bills and household?
I don't think I'd be too quick to leave the home. It's your home too.
Why isn't you name on the deed ?
Is the biggest problem his D? Can you tell him she can't come on your property any,ore?
Follow up on the attorney
Follow up on the attorney right away. He can advise you of your rights, what and when you should do should the wacky SD come at you again and probably to start documenting. There is mental abuse going on there and you don't deserve that either. Do you get social security, disability and medicare? If so, KEEP your money and do not give it to your husband. I'm sure he will raise a stink, but you can tell him you want to have something of your own, period. Okay, best to ask your lawyer how to handle this.
But THERE IS MENTAL ABUSE going on. No one, and I repeat, no one should be as scared of the SD and the husband as you sound.
See the lawyer ASAP