6 Weeks of Torture.
Okay so a little bit of back ground. My DH and I each have a kid from a previous marriage (He a son and I a daughter) and we have recently had a son together. We only get SS for 6 weeks during the summer, which is a whole mess now that they are in school due to the schools in the NE starting in September through end of June, and schools in the Midwest (where we live) starting in August to Mid May. That's another issue. DD is shared between my exhubs and I 50/50 but we get a long very very well so that 50/50 can vary in either way.
SS (7) and DD 
are only 9 months apart in age but they could not be more different. I know it's an adjustment for SS coming for only 6 weeks. But we consistently have problems. He likes to talk back and not do as he is told and throws fits while DD can do the same but tends to be more laid back.
So obviously since DD lives at our house full time she does have more toys and such (and a TV). Well now SS wants one because DD has one. But honestly I don't believe he's earned it.
Can you honestly say
That the two are not similar in behavior, but you tolerate it better from your DD?
No, you cannot allow only one to have TV without exacerbating the situation.
Why did your husband agree to
Why did your husband agree to 6weeks for summer 'only'.
1/2 of summer with dad...1/2 with bio mom
1/2 of Christmas vacation. Then all of spring break.
Your ss needs his dad more often than current plan. He is very young... Maybe your husband should fly to see his boy 1x a month for the weekend? Maybe no one has thought about that as an option for the child????
About tv's?
Wow...your not very nice. IF your daughter has a tv in her room so should your step child. Shall we assume so will your bio son?
Your ss needs his dad more often than current plan. He is very young... Maybe your husband should fly to see his boy 1x a month for the weekend? Maybe no one has thought about that as an option for the child????
GoodLuck
DD tv was a gift from her
DD tv was a gift from her godmother. She's had it since she was a year old (more like a decoration).
And yeah once a month would be nice but plane tickets from Kansas to NY run about $400+ and Ex Wife wouldn't let him see him even if we were there. We plan on fighting for custody but with everything having to be done in NY it will be time consuming and very expensive.
Look i had a tv in my room when i was maybe 9 or 10 but it
was a hand me down and we were not allowed to lock ourselves in our room and ignore everyone at home and not interact with them.
My brother had a pc which as a computer nerd didn’t want a tv really but eventually he did get a hand-me down and later bought one
if dd has fairly earned the right for a tv fair enough but be objective about it. Is she still sitting in common areas often and interacting with you, ss and her stepdad? If not then there need to be new rules for the privilege of a tv in her room
ss if he does choresor whatever same expectations are there for your daughter then he should get a tv too. Even a hand-me down is ok unless you bought a beand spanking new one
but growing up of dad replaced a tv well there was no bitching abou how my brother got the more bogger fancy one. It was at their discretion
She hardly uses it. She's
She hardly uses it. She's more into building with Legos and magna tiles than watching TV.
Well now SS wants one because
Well now SS wants one because DD has one. But honestly I don't believe he's earned it.
The SS is only there for 6 weeks, he doesn't need a TV. Let him find other ways to entertain himself and/or create a schedule for watching TV while he's there. After that I wouldn't engage him and allow your H to deal with every and anything that pertains to him.
So if DH wont buy another TV
They should each get the TV for 3 weeks. If the SS does not NEED a TV, neither does OPs kid.
Nope. Resident children get
Nope. Resident children get priority of space and household resources. DH pays CS for SS and the kids resident in the marrital home do not benefit from those resources so... DD gets priority in the home she resides in full time.
Visiting kids are the primary responsibility of their CPs. They integrate into the home they are visiting, they follow the rules, the get the benefit of the household when resident but they do not get special treatment including expensive things that they will only see 6wks each year during summer visitation. There is undoubtedly a TV he can use when he is visiting. He can use that.
Just my thoughts of course.
Thank you for this. I feel
Thank you for this. I feel bad for this but I feel like it is true we pay quite a bit for CS. DH was in the military when it was decided and the Civilian world hasn't even been close to paying him what he made then but we still have not changed it we just make it work.
DDs father pays child support and I make sure that money is used for her, now if Ex Wife doesn't thats her issue.