I'm 34 years old and my husband and I have been married for 2 years. He has 2 children from a previous relationship. They are 12 and 9 years old. Their biomom isn't really involved. When I met my husband his kids were living with his mom and brother due to having been removed from their biomom and stepfather's care because they were physically abusing them. My husband lived in an efficiency at the time so legally the state couldn'the put them with him full time. Since then their mother's husband has permanently lost custody of his own son from a previous relationship and the biomom went 10 months without even calling her kids. She's also over $9,000 behind in child support and has never paid a dime. The kids have lived with us full time for 2 years without so much as an overnight with the biomom because legally she can't have them overnight. 

I have a background of 6+ years as a preschool and before/after care teacher. I  am forever praised by people for my ability to be understanding and endlessly patient with children as well as adults. I've wanted to be a mom more than anything in the world for my entire life. I wanted this to work more than anyone knows. I REALLY did. I won't leave my husband because we have an amazing relationship but I hate his children. I've tried. I've tried so hard. They've had in home counselors in our house twice a week for 5 hours per visit for almost the entire 2 years they've lived here. They've had school counselors as well. My stepdaughter has been inpatient hospitalized twice for violently out of control behavior. She actually put my arm in a brace last September by repeatedly slamming my arm in her door. She's bruised me up pretty good several other times both before and since then. She breaks and destroys things when she's angry constantly. At one point she wrote swear words in giant letters on the walls of her bedroom. She drew pictures of the whole family dead and threatened to kill all of us. She's also a thief. She steals anything and everything. We live on a budget and my husband has had to go without dinner twice because she eats our food while we're sleeping. She steals money. She steals from school. She steals from family. She steals from friends. She steals from the store. Recently she threw out her father's brand new PS4 game because "she thought the case was empty". I don't believe it for a second. She threw it out just out of spite. I also just recently noticed that she stole my grandmother's wedding rings out of my jewelry box. After hours of yelling and her insisting she didn't take them I found out that she took them outside with her and lost them somewhere in the neighborhood. I'm so heartbroken. She wouldn't even apologize. My stepson doesn't care about anything but himself just like his sister. He's self centered, mouthy, disrespectful, and vindictive. Neither of them have ANY empathy. They're not respectful at all. There are even houses in the neighborhood that they're not allowed to go to anymore because of how they act. My stepson is also a bully. We got several complaints about him bullying other kids throughout the school year. They've had counselors. My stepdaughter is medicated. We've tried anything anyone has EVER suggested. These kids DO.NOT.CARE. No punishments or reward systems mean ANYTHING to them. Even my husband is at the end of his rope with them at this point.

I honestly hate these children and I don't like the way that makes me feel.

I don't know what to do anymore.....