I suppose this is more of a rant, but if anyone has an actual answer that would be nice

BM's are so resentful. They keep kids away from their dad for no other reason than that they can. Why??? I can't figure this one out and don't have the guts to ask my friend who actually is a BM. Granted, they do this to varying degrees. My friend does it once in a while for an hour or so but then you have our BM who keeps them away for months.

BMs fall into 2 categories: those who work & those who don't. I think you should have to work to collect child support. Too many BMs out there use their kids as a paycheck and even have them so they can collect. My mom collected child support for me but guess what... she worked 40 hours a week & that money put me through college. Our BM has never had a job yet when they don't have anything she blames it on my DH. She told my 2 skids my DH hasn't paid in 3 years. What a lie to make her look "better" (which is what she has to do to make herself look better than anyone). My DH was injured at work and missed 6 months of payments, legitimately. Believe it or not he wants to pay his CS, otherwise they will have nothing.

On the topic of child support, you should have to turn in receipts. Our BM get a $hitload of money to sit on her ass yet the kids never have anything new and the younger boy always has hand me downs. SS11 was ecstatic to receive a pair of jeans for christmas one year. They always look like scrubs (dirty clothes, coats, smell bad, need haircuts, etc.)

No motivation in life. This is also not ALL BM's, just those ones that constantly have their hand out. Our BM lives with her parents at age 31 as well as her little sister who, suprise! has 2 kids and no man (she put in her "work" aka 2 kids). Our BM refuses to work and gives her kids the lamest excuses that they eat up.

Why is it that these moms seem to care about everything except the kids? My step sons are truly at a disadvantage in life. They are both in therapy, which is a good thing for them but BM isn't the least embarrassed about it as their problems are due to her manipulations. Children are not chess pieces. They are adults in training having crappy childhoods with these BMs teaching them to be crappy adults. It is so sad.

My skids are brainwashed. We can physically show them the facts from CS that my DH has been paying all these years and only hasn't because of an injury, and they won't believe it. They are mommas boys in the worst way.

Thanks to any of you who have read this even in part It is continually hard to be a stepparent although I have been one for 8 years. We thought it would get a bit easier with age but their mom has only brainwashed them further. My heart hurts for my skids and I feel there is nothing left we can do but watch them grow up into unsuccessful adults because of a selfish, manipulative, lazy BM.