What do you guys do when you find things out that BM says safely behind computer screen?
BM has a rant on her facebook page about how my DH is confusing and hurting my skids (ss10 and ss12) and how awful it is that he doesn't know them and one day they will realize how awful he is and she can't wait. Followed by her friends confirming what a wonderful role model she is and what a douche bag my DH is.
Here's the truth: BM won't let us see them, will not bring them to our house(but drives an hour to wrestling), will not make time for us to see them (we are willing to go get them but they are always "busy"), will not get a job, has never had a job, lives off of child support and welfare, lives at home with parents at age 32 and little sister who has 2 kids and they all sit around on welfare and child support, constantly says she's "sick", cries about having no money (well then get a job and how do you have your face pierced in 4 places when my step sons smell like crap and need haircuts), says she is too sick to get a job but is a cheerleading coach, and acts like she is my BFF to my face and "has no clue" why my DH hates her. Um, she tried trapping him with children and she was so hard to deal with he had to leave her despite not wanting to leave his children, after trying to make it work with her.
Completely hypocritical. All the things she is bashing my DH about are her fault! He doesn't know them because she makes it extremely difficult! She gets an exorbitant amount of child support and the boys don't look like they ever have anything new, including soap. Sorry but can't wait for 5.5 and 8 years from now when CS is done being paid. Can't wait to see what she does then. I don't understand how her friends call her a good role model when my skids haven't seen her work a day in their life for money while my DH busts his ass to pay that CS and we go without while she spends his hard earned money on herself.
So I see this rant on facebook praising her for being a good role model and just want to barf. How do you all deal with this type of thing??? DH and I are a team. We stick up for each other and I refuse to mention this to him to spare his feelings. It will just make him feel worse.
Ways to deal with frustrating BM? Anyone?!?
Thanks everyone 
Without fail I never look at
Without fail I never look at Facebook pages of people I don't like. I don't even know if they HAVE a Facey page because I've never looked. Why should I read the idiocy? Nobody whose opinion I care about looks at them and people who do look at them is anywhere near relevent in my life.
Very good point and I agree,
Very good point and I agree, and this is going to sound dumb, but we have no way of communicating with the boys (ss12 "lost" the phone we bought him, fully loaded with minutes, conveniently after mom took it for punishment aka she took it) but I thought I'd look and see if she's said anything about them lately. Their record of having a home phone line is spotty, as their welfare check apparently doesn't cover that because its out of service right now. When they do have the luxury of internet ss and dh communicate on xbox, however, as soon as bm knows they're talking to dh she has them get off of it. So right now there's just no way to communicate and we miss them. She cuts off every single line of communication we get with them then says dh doesn't try to talk to them.
Hence why I don't look on
Hence why I don't look on BM's page anymore, or her forums for that matter. All she used to do was moan about how all the fathers to her children, including my partner, were shit parents, "luckily the kids had her" etc... All her friends would comment praising her as a mother and slagging the fathers off. Funny thing is, they know for a fact she's not an ideal parent, she palms her kids off onto the eldest whilst she goes out on the piss, lays in till 11 when she has a 2 year old to look after and finds any excuse to mot to have to take the youngest our with her because kid being kids are "too much hard work". Of course she makes the most effort with the kids who have fathers in their lives as it's classed as competition. The "friends" agreeing with her, one told her 12 year old daughter "the reason she can't keep a boyfriend is because she doesn't sleep with them" and the others all slag her off behind her back - I have a mutual friend with her group of friends. On her forums they've never met her so she obviously puts a front on of being a classy lady, lol.
There's nothing that can be said that'll suddenly get her to start praising your DH as a father. you, and everyone else that matters, knows it's not true.
Stay off of her page. What
Stay off of her page.
What does the CO say about visits? If BM, isn't following the CO, your husband should take her back to court. If BM's home isn't safe, he should fight for custody.
I used to look at BMs MySpace
I used to look at BMs MySpace (yes, she still has one) every now and then. I just found myself getting unnecessarily flustered every time. So I decided to stop. I stopped knowing that the people who care about me know the truth.
I think you need to stop looking at her fb page. Dh should be on top of that to obtain details that can be used against bm.
Wow this sounds a LOT like
Wow this sounds a LOT like our situation, except DH has the skid 50/50. BM is a lazy, useless leech who sits home all day on welfare. Like your skids’ BM, she lives with her mom and her sister and brother and their babies. BM has 3 kids by 3 different men and none of them married her. Why? Because she’s a complete nutjob! None of those men even wanted kids with her. Yes, it takes 2 to make a baby, but just because a man puts his d^&% in you does NOT mean he wants to be your baby daddy! She tries to trap men with kids, that's her thing.
Anyhow, I had a fb issue with BM just a couple days ago because she tagged my DH in a post but that’s another story. Writing crap about DH and the SMs seems to be pretty common for BMs. BM has not once said anything to my face, but she writes about me online like it’s her job lol. Guess when you have no real job and don’t take care of your kids, you have a lot of time on your hands!
Try not to stress about it! If your DH really wants to see the kids, take BM to court!
Our BMs could be BFFs Thank
Our BMs could be BFFs
Thank you for the post!
Thanks everyone, I appreciate
Thanks everyone, I appreciate the advice. Good to know I'm not alone here on this one.
There is no visitation. He never married her and there's only a CS order. He left when they were very young, as they were 1 and 3 at the time I met them and DH & I were engaged at that point. We have no $$$ for a lawyer and at this point I don't know if we will ever get official visitation as they keep getting older and we are not getting richer. By the time I finish school and we have money for a lawyer it might be either too late or pointless, as they will be closer to 18.
She actually says that "she has never denied us a visit" however, when we call they have something saturday morning, sunday afternoon, school all week with practices sprinkled throughout, and things to do the next weekend. She even insisted last summer that we drive them 45 minutes one way twice during our week long visit to "mandatory" baseball for my older ss. We get there and there are like 5 other boys from ss's team. She was blatantly caught in a lie about it being mandatory. IDK how she sleeps, but apparently she does so with no problem as she continues lying and manipulating.
DH's whole family knows the truth about BM and we do too, but I just hate the picture she paints of him to the boys. We try to make an impact but it doesn't stick. She has brought them to our house ONCE in 9 years. Occasionally she meets us half way, but she has to get a ride from her sister or dad because she doesn't have her own car or license.
We are a very happy family: me, DH, and our own son who is 6. When my ss's are here we are hoping they see what a true, loving, hard working family is rather than the multi-generational welfare supported family being their only knowledge of family.
And how dare her talk the way she does about my DH. He pays for her face piercings, haircuts, clothes, etc. and she has the nerve to talk s*it about him. Well at least he cares about his children & pays the support even though it chaps our as$es because she doesn't spend it on them. Can't wait to see what she does when the support stops.