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PDA with BD16

Claire Ann's picture

I came from family where physical affection was kept at a bare minimum, so I find it somewhat alarming when my BF gives his BD16 a pat on the butt or a quick kiss on the lips. I don't get a creepy vibe and I trust that he is not inappropriate with her physically, but it is just so different from what my own father did - and on top of the fact that I'm already jealous of the other ways he is affectionate with her, I just don't know what to do with it all. I have been careful not to say anything because I know that I am the one who needs to change and not him. But it is a pretty powerful feeling I get every time he does it in front of me.

Anyone else been there?

Rags's picture

My family was very affectionate growing up. I am 50 and we still are. This is one of those smell test and dog test issues IMHO. If it looks like dog, barks like a dog, and smells like dog it must be a dog.

From what you said in your OP I would ere on the side of your gut which apparently is telling you that there is nothing to give you a creepy vibe.

Orange County Ca's picture

I don't think I've ever seen a father pat a 16yo girl on the butt. If I did I would think it highly inappropriate. You're right it probably doesn't mean anything else is going on. You should consider telling him that you've never heard or seen such intimacy before and ask him if its appropriate. Certainly we're not the only ones that would think it out of line and someone else could contact child welfare. Tell him to consider that.

My second wife's sister saw her ex brother-in-law pat his teenager on the butt and mentioned it to me asking if the girl had ever said anything. I asked the girl and she denied anything and seeing no other signs I let the matter drop. Nothing came of it.

Claire Ann's picture

Thanks for the feedback, guys! The more I think about this, I realize that my BF does the same with his SS15, and it is not a creepy or constant thing my any means, so I will take these things into consideration - but still will have a convo with the BF just to let him know my reservations about this.