Here I was complaining that my skids are really decent people when they are with us and then they get back with BM and act like we have the plague. I also was mad that BM said she would send us their school pics but never has, she said she got christmas pics done after I posted mine, went through hell with the girls to get them cause they wouldn't cooperate, and then only sent them to MIL. Today she sent me a message saying They sent my girls a box and that they could open the christmas ornaments the older skids picked out for them now and the pictures.

I attend a lot of birthday parties one just last night and this is what I observe. It’s X’s 5th birthday his older brother is there, his new baby half-sister is not. She is at home with his step dad under the premise that she is sick but really step dad hates going to these things. His step sister isn’t there because her mother moved her 3 state lines away from his step dad to hook up with a guy on the internet. X’s maternal grandpa is there with his wife, his maternal grandma is there alone.

So I have these two SD's 9&10 on my hands and my 2 BD's 2&4 my Big bro has one son 6 and a beast of an ex. We share this disabled mother that is asking "what exactly is my role here??" She wasn't much of a capable parent to us, she likes kids and loves her family and does what she can.... but has some deficits that make it hard to have a normal relationship with. ie I don't have her babysit, I have to do her bills and manage her accounts since my dad died...etc.. but she is a prominate member of our family dynamic.

Would it be so bad to just let go of the mess of trying to connect with alienated kids and their BM til they are 18 and if then they want to know why dad (who they call by his first name) is out of the picture then we can tell them, "hey your mom had you calling some guy dad a month after we spit, your mom and family made sure you had no memories of me in you life, I called every weekend, I sent you gifts and hand written letters once a month, i sent you pictures, I gave you our phone number and address and you never used it.