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I am going to have a Breakdown!!!

AshMar654's picture

Submitted by AshMar654 on Mon, 12/04/2017 - 8:18am

Well yeah I am going to have a breakdown I think at some point. At this point I am pretty numb to it all.

Got a call this weekend my Bio-Dad who I really have nothing to do and do not talk to for the last 4 years has an aggressive cancer. It is treatable but it is not looking good so yeah kinda in shock not sure what to do or how to feel or anything.

I am not sure how much more I can take at this point. With all that happened last week with Lucy and her family. With that I lost the venue for our wedding so I spent all weekend looking at places and dealing with that as well.

At this point the stress is pretty overwhelming and I am just in a fog. I called my brother and he is really upset about my dad. I called him and talked to him for the first time in 4 years yesterday and I am going to go see him this coming weekend. Not sure what else to do just a mess.

Comments

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 12/04/2017 - 8:22am

Sorry to hear about your dad Ash...

On the wedding front. Have you and your SO thought about doing a destination wedding... just the two of you? Or maybe just a couple of friends?

I did that and used one of those vacation wedding places in St. Thomas and it was really easy. They had the place, the pastor everything. No worries about attendants or locations.. honeymoon and wedding rolled into one!

Especially good when you have reasons to not want to deal with the issues of relatives and friends..etc...

AshMar654's picture

Submitted by AshMar654 on Mon, 12/04/2017 - 8:25am

SO wants the whole wedding thing with family and friends. No destination wedding though it would be easier.

I do want some of my family there so it will all be ok. I will make it work.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 12/04/2017 - 8:27am

ASh, calm down...

The Lucy saga, put it behind you, yes you where wrong and you apologized and hopefully decided it's a toxic friendship not worth having, see done and dusted.

Your wedding place fell through, Hon it's a clear sign not to get married now, simply elope at City hall.... if you really want to get married, save the money and go on an expensive honeymoon.

Your Dad, so what you have not talked to him in 4 years, put the past behind you, this is the new you, enjoy some time with Dad before it's too late, make amends and just be there for him,

AshMar654's picture

Submitted by AshMar654 on Mon, 12/04/2017 - 9:25am

I am pretty calm for the most part just numb and holding my breath a little for the next thing to come along.

The venue was at my friends sister's place. I am not getting married until October next year. He really wants the wedding. Even after all the looking and seeing how much it will cost. Nope he still wants the wedding.

I am just in a daze on the whole dad thing.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 12/04/2017 - 9:49am

Honey... if he wants the wedding.. let him plan and pay for the wedding. It's lovely to want things and expect others to do the work isn't it?

I would say.. honey.. my plate is just so full right now. Just tell me the time and place and I will be there with a white dress..

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

Submitted by LostinSpaceandTime on Mon, 12/04/2017 - 10:32am

Plan for the life you want....not just the day of the wedding. What is meant to be will be.

So sorry to hear about your dad. Let the past go and be in the present moments with him. The past is gone, the future not promised, the present is a precious gift.

When DH and I married he was recovering from an organ transplant...we married on the lot we were in the process of buying to build a house. Just some family and friends and a rented tent, justice of peace and port o John. A funny memory of the time is that the port o potty company delivered the potty and set it near the tent right at the spot we were going to say our vows overlooking the creek. They even faced the door to the creek side. Instead of putting it where instructed away from the tent area. Luckily we stopped to check on the setup of the tent and was able to reach the potty company to come move it in time.
So we got married on a yard with a main sewer line and manhole cover where we exchanged vows, the potty was almost the backdrop and the relationship with the skids has since gone in the crapper, but it has been ten years of marriage to a good man who is my best friend.

So anything that can go wrong will...just roll with it...it will be a funny story one day.

Try to live each day present in the moment...they will go by so very fast. Slow them down. Abiding (resting) in the present is the best gift you can give yourself and everyone you love.