SS9 talking kinda like baby talk...HELP?
Ok. Just need some opinions. No I do not care more than my SO.
SS9 has for some reason these last two months has been talking kinda like a baby. We have no clue why.
Examples:
Hewwooo = hello
Pwease = Please
Aksss = Ask
goodwight = goodnight
I am sure you get the gist and it is so much. SO at first ignored it hoping it would go away, than he told him to stop, even has not responded to SS until he speaks normal. I have followed suit with my SO on this and done the same things he has done. It is just getting worse. Anyone experience this a kid talking kinda baby talk at this age?
I would like some advice on how to handle it that I can give to my SO and let him take it from there.
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he is confused, remember he
he is confused, remember he lost his other parents (grand parents) could be he did it in school and kids luv him for that...
Now do not ignore it, every time he does this, reply with, Excuse me, I did not hear that... keep on doing it till he speaks in the correct manner then you say, ah now that's much better.
Alternatively... he baby talks, you send him to his room, babies needs to say nighty night way earlier then big boys of 9, and well no more fun, remove all the toys, cause babies do not play with those toys, it's to dangerous, Babies are not allowed to watch TV either...
I like this. Thank you some
I like this. Thank you some good ideas in here. It is just getting worse.
Ash - please please let his
Ash - please please let his father do all of the above...
Teach your husband to be the disciplinary parent and you are the cuddle parent. Talk to Daddy to correct SS and tell him babies needs to go to bed early.. then you do the tucking in etc. If you enforce these rules... SS will get worse cause you are not his mother... and DH will get pissed at you.
He does discipline his son
He does discipline his son plenty has for many years. I think you are coming from a good place that is not how SO and I work. I get I am not his mother but it is my house too.
SO does not get mad at me for correcting his son. Never has. I am lucky in that aspect he respects me and respects that we both own the home and we both work to make the life we are creating. Thank You
Then you are lucky Ash... if
Then you are lucky Ash... if he supports you and you work as an united front...
but that's very unknown to me lol
SS does this too... he's
SS does this too... he's almost 4 1/2... it's not just the l's - w like love is wuv, it's school = sool... computer = 'puter, mosquito is = mosito... I asked dh once if his daycare/teachers ever mentioned anything about getting his speech impediments checked out.. dh was like what speech impediments? I told him what I noticed... dh said he never noticed...
I dropped it.
Every now and then I'll say it's not sool, it's school... or it's not I fewww down, it's I feLL down... but I mostly just ignore it. My kids never did that, but I've seen it be fairly common for young kids.
Kids of 9, though, it's not normal. I'd threaten having to see a speech therapist to teach him how to speak like a 9 year old, not like a toddler.
"I'd threaten having to see a
"I'd threaten having to see a speech therapist to teach him how to speak like a 9 year o" and by doing this give him exactly what he wants, thus he won the manipulation game... he gets attention and now he learns if he does something like this the adults will jump..
Nope there was never speech problems, and never any issues, it's a whole new thing... thus he will be punished accordingly and treated accordingly..
Oh Ash/Dad can I go to Jonny to play... sorry SS but babies do not get play dates, you need to go to bed now to rest, babies sleep allot...
Ash/Dad can I watch TV... No SS babies are not allowed to watch TV.. here play with your soft toys....
it would work with mine...
it would work with mine... much like threatening to take a "sick kid" to the doctor miraculously makes them feel 100% better.
Seems to work better (for us) than berating the kid lol
berating a kid.. where?? you
berating a kid.. where??
you do this in the privacy of your home, with only the parents, it works like a charm.... 2 days tops and they stop...
mine did this silly thing cause it was cool in school.... if you asked him something he would reply in baby language... gagagogo...
2 nights treating him like a baby and it was solved, Oh I waited for those 2 nights lol, Friday and Saturday, the only 2 days he could play with friends or do anything
maybe I meant belittling. Not
maybe I meant belittling. Not sure. It's meant to shame them, it's derogatory.
I understood what you
I understood what you meant....
but it's not belittling IMO if it's done privately.... at home with no one around... to me it's teaching,
if you want to act like a baby you will be treated as such...
lol, we'll have to disagree
lol, we'll have to disagree on that one, because to me, that's what an abuser says when he justifies his behavior as behind closed doors only.
(Not calling you an abuser, just to make that clear... I just disagree that certain behaviors are justified when they're only done in private.)
secret - this site showed me
secret - this site showed me I'm a very bad mother, and yeah abuser lol....
guess we are just different and way tougher on Mars...
lol I'm not saying you are a
lol I'm not saying you are a bad mother/abuser.
We actually treat our kids much the same ways a lot of the time for many different things...tough love etc... but seeing as how sensitive ash's ss seems to be, I don't think he could handle it lol
haha did not mean you
haha did not mean you Hon.....
what I read, and how kids are coddles and get away with shit... made me realize.. dang you are a bad mother
eg. If you are old enough to walk you are old enough to tidy and dress yourself and wipe.. yes kiddo did all that before age 4...
see I'm a bad mother, I even put the breakfast on a low table so he could get his own cereal before school in the mornings...
age 7 was his responsibility to make coffee for me in the mornings ... cause he got up an hour before me and got ready, I only get up 10min before we leave and he hated coming late, thus he woke me up half an hour before with coffee...
ah such a terrible mother and I abused the poor snot, will give him a hug tonight lol.... then I will be accused of molesting my 22 year old
YES YES YES. By 4, my kids
YES YES YES.
By 4, my kids were fully potty trained (since +/- 2 yrs old), could make their own cereal, could get dressed on their own, make their beds, speak in full sentences, none of that babytalk crap... used real dishes, could use a knife (butter knife) when eating, had manners...
blows my mind when I hear of 8-10 year olds who can't even tie their shoes or spell their name...can't remember to say Please and Thank you... can't read... still throws fits....needs help to shower/bathe... unless some type of developmental delay is there, THAT'S bad parenting.
Exactly this child is
Exactly this child is sensitive. This is crazy he is a 9 year old boy, not a CEO of a major corporation, he is going thru a phase and he should be treated with some compassion for what he has been thru. Making this young child feel uncomfortable in the home he is living in will not help him. Do not punish him and ignore it and it will go away. Children act out all the time. That is what is normal. Belittling him in the home is not normal.
Interesting .. ignore it and
Interesting .. ignore it and it will go away....
SO always though so and after years of ignoring disrespect from his daughter and ignoring if she disrespected other adults, simply saying ignore it an it will go away.... one of her teachers filed assault charges against her this morning..... it's 2 weeks before final exams and she's expelled from school.....
Oh my lord. This young boy is
Oh my lord. This young boy is NOT your daughter. He is using baby talk not assaulting anyone. He is going thru a talking phase not looking to end up in jail. Apples and oranges.
"small" things lead to big
"small" things lead to big things. Yes he's been destabilized but so have children for thousands of years and some how they got over it. And not by excessive coddling. Yeah I can just imagine a Dickensian orphanage putting up with baby talk.
YSS started doing this for attention and was encouraged by the Girhippo clan.
I simply replied I'm sorry I can't understand you would you repeat that please? If you lower the bar of expectations into the dirt it seldom raises.
no Hon not apples and
no Hon not apples and oranges.... I started dating SO when Aergia was 5, way younger then this kid.....
if you don;t handle it the first time and say... ignore it she will change, it's true but they change for the worst.... cause they are taught they are special and can do what they want with no consequences... thus ending up like Aergia age 18..
Please do not punish him for
Please do not punish him for this. It will self- correct in time. This child has suffered a major loss and regression is one way he is coping with it. Right now he needs love and patience from both of you in order to heal. Being punished for grieving is the worst thing that could happen to him right now.
no way... if they allow this
no way... if they allow this then they set them up for major manipulation, it's not like his grand parents died or anything.
They can assure him that he will see them again and they can make plans for it to happen, but to let this slide, no way...
it's like teaching some one if your Dad dies you can start misbehaving there will be no consequences, if your parents divorce you can act like a spoiled brat... no simply no....
Like Acra said, if he wants
Like Acra said, if he wants to talk and act like a baby, then he gets treated like one. One jar of creamed chicken and spinach baby food for dinner should end it PROVIDED he is doing this because he thinks it's funny.
I've said it before and I'll keep saying it until I'm blue in the face: SS has been through A LOT recently, things that are top triggers for stress in adults who can process how they feel or at least verbalize it.
Is he doing this in school? Have his grades dropped? Is his behavior changing in any other way? If so, your SO needs to talk to the school counselor about options to help SS.
Additionally, you have to keep in mind that every human being has a "honeymoon" phase, and your SS's good behavior meter is now running on empty. Constantly questioning, baby-talking SS may be the norm, or was the norm when living with his grandparents while Dad travelled for work. Now that Dad doesn't travel, he can't keep up the "be good for Dad" act like he used to. This SS that you are seeing may be the REAL SS that was hidden from you, and to a certain extent, your SO as well.
If these behaviors aren't acceptable, your SO needs to come up with a plan to correct them. If he doesn't know how, he needs to get parenting classes or talk to the school counselor or something. You CAN'T and SHOULDN'T do it. Not because it isn't your responsibility, but because eventually SS gets to decide how he wants to view you in his life. If decides you're just Dad's Girlfriend/Wife and Dad hasn't been the one laying down the law, he'll be unruly and won't listen to EITHER of you.
It could be worse, my step
It could be worse, my step son is 8 going on 9 and talks in what I can only describe as a wood chuck voice. He started doing this when my twins were born in May. No end in sight so far. A part of parenting that no one ever talks about is how weird kids can be when they’re adjusting to changes.
I feel your pain! YSS used to
I feel your pain! YSS used to speak in a Woody the Woodpecker voice. He would be still speaking that way to this day had I not put a stop to it gently but firmly. This was before I completely disengaged for my own sanity. That voice annoyed chef but because of guilty parenting he was willing to look the other way. Have you tried all talking in the woodchuck voice? it might just take the fun (read: annoyance factor)out of it.
Has your SO contacted his
Has your SO contacted his teacher to see if he is doing it at school?
No, That might be the next
No, That might be the next step.
I would definitely contact
I would definitely contact the teacher to see if he has been doing it in school, or just at home before I went any farther with a plan of action. If he's only doing it at home, then most likely "home" is the problem. If he's doing it at school too, then it could be a classmate that he looks up to has been doing it and he is playing copy cat and is bringing the nonsense home. I'm guessing he is NOT doing it in school, because this seems like something that a teacher would address in nightly planner or a quick email to dad.
I don't think he is doing it
I don't think he is doing it at school either. I think he it is an at home thing truthfully he might do it at daycare I am not sure. I know he has done know he does it when other people are around not just me and his dad.
I am just really hoping it is just the g-parents leaving.
No big deal....let it go. I
No big deal....let it go. I know it may drive you bonkers... He will stop. Stuff like this has a way of clearing itself up.
Maybe one of the kids at school talks like this.
Case and point:
One of our kiddos hung out with a boy who had a lisp. AND this boy talked baby talk. WHEN our boy would come home from his house, our son had a lisp too. The phantom lisp only occurs WHEN he is with the lad with the lisp..
Another times he would return home from school saying AX not ask. WE corrected him very quickly. CANT stand when people use AX in place of Ask. During a parent teacher conference, turns out the teacher said AX,,,,I almost fell off my chair. :jawdrop:
I might be tempted to say SS, how do you do that, you know talk like that. Can you talk like your Italian...???
My ss says "Miwk"...not Milk.
My ss says "Miwk"...not Milk. "hungwy" not hungry. "dwink" not drink. It drives me INSANE. He is 10. He's been doing this since he was 8. If you find a way to fix it let me know.
My BD11 does this from time
My BD11 does this from time to time, it's a way to get attention. When she starts I tell her knock if off, usually she stops right away, but if she continues I tell her I can't talk to her until she learns to speak properly. That usually stops it. Perhaps your SS is not used to having either of you as a parental figure so he doesn't take either of you seriously when he is doing these things.
He still adjusting to his new
He still adjusting to his new life. Compassion goes a long way when I know you’re always trying to process things. It’ll work itself out Definitely no need to give him any sort of punishment.
Obviously he’s not feeling very secure and just needs to get a little more centered and secured in his own home with you and his dad.