Dumb broad
REALLY?!?!?! I am seriously about to paper cut my eyeballs... I HATE HATE HATE HATE BM and seriously feel like our attorney is not answering ANYTHING we need answered.... So we found out today that the day care we will be sending SS to is REFUSING to talk and see the BM b/c apparently she called up there and acted a fool.... Can a "licensed" day care legally NOT talk to the BM and allow her to come to the day care? This is what I am dealing with people... 
She is FUCKING bat shit CRAZY!!!!!!! So in the midst of all of this crap we have been asking the lawyer for advice like what should we do? Can YOU call the day care and possibly get a written statement to take to court? And what do we get??? NOTHING except for "I'm out the office today I am sick just see if you get the whole story from the day care and see if you guys can smooth things over"..... Isnt that kind of what we are PAYING HER FOR..... I am seriously OVER this crap and OVER this stupid petty shit she is pulling.... She might as well be representing BM cause it seems like she is on her side and her side only... I rant to my DH and try to get him to see what I am saying and he doesnt understand... He just says "Oh she will take care of us"...... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... I think all of this is seriously stressing me out more then it is him... However,,,, until NOW Im done and I am done with giving him advice and I have taken time out of MY day to type up 3 pages full of questions to ask the lawyer on Friday... How many of thos questions has he done???? NONE..... This is NOT my kid and I feel like I have done WAY more research and put WAY more time into this case then he has....... Why are we going to drive 10 hours to get him and drop him off? Pay child support? Pay for a lawyer? If DH isnt putting much work into this??????
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I am seriously about to paper
I am seriously about to paper cut my eyeballs
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
OMG...I just can't even read past this!! LOL
".... I think all of this is
".... I think all of this is seriously stressing me out more then it is him.."
I can gaurentee the above statement is true...men dont operate or prepare like we do, probably because we do it for them...stop helpiing him
Agree. Stop helping him. Fuck
Agree. Stop helping him. Fuck his kid.
*Willow2010* I cant STAND
*Willow2010* I cant STAND paper cuts.... But yes it is THAT bad }:)
I want to stop helping him SO bad but the BM will text ME not DH and so I get involved that way.... But I told him to have BM text him SS is NOT my child and I feel horrible for saying this but deal with on your OWN.... I would SERIOUSLy NEVER put a person I love in the position he is putting me in and he seems to think it is ok....
I know this is very
I know this is very frustrating for you, but think of it this way - the more stuff you can do on your own instead of relying on the attorney is actually good because it will save you money in legal fees. Your attorney charges by the hour. She will charge you $125 an hour to do something you could do yourself for free, so it's better if you contact the day care yourself.
Forgive me because I don't know your backstory but why is it an issue that the daycare won't talk to BM? Why do you need a statement from the daycare?
As for all those questions you have for your attorney, you'd be better off going to a online divorce forum to ask your questions. Your attorney will charge you by the hour to answer all those questions that you can probably find the answers to for free online.
There is a really good forum for fathers dealing with custody issues - just google divorce dads. It's an extremely male biased site, so I suggest just lurking and not posting. They don't like wives or girlfriends that post on behalf of their husbands/SO.
When I was researching custody issues for my now exBF it had a lot of helpful information. I can try an answer any questions you may have, I've had to deal with custody issues both in my own divorce and when I was trying to help my exBF with his custody issues for his son.
Well the BM had in the
Well the BM had in the "temporary" papers (we have a final hearing Friday) thaty she wanted NOTHING nut a "licensed" day care that her son goes to. Fine. We did that. Than the BM called the day care and at this time DH and I were NOT married so BM called the day care and basically made a fool out of herself by asking questions that werent legit like "Arent you even going to want my sons medical information?" the day care lady had said " No I have been doing this 20 years and I have NEVER asked for medical cards." Then the BM went on to say that "I (referring to ME) was NOT the DH fiance that we were lying to everyone and I just want to be SS mom so bad I (referring to ME) couldnt handle this." So day care lady hangs up and calls me and tells me everything that was said. The first thing day care lady says is "BM is a FRUIT CAKE and I dont just call anyone that." So the day care lady said that she has a business to run and she cant have those calls while she is supposed to be watching kids. Which has lead to day care not wanting BM to come/call the day care....
Okay, I can't blame the day
Okay, I can't blame the day care for refusing to talk to the BM. Why is this an issue? Seems like not entertaining BM's stupid questions is the right way to go.
Who is supposed to pick up SS from daycare?
What I don't understand is
What I don't understand is some attorneys' refusals to do things. If you want her to talk t the daycare, and are willing to pay her $125 per hour to do so, why wouldn't she?
I really think a lot of attorneys just think that a lot of stuff is beneath them, but don't communicate that to their clients, so their clients just think they're lazy or don't give a shit about their cases.
Well BM lives in Kentucky....
Well BM lives in Kentucky.... SHE decided to move there after she got married in March cause her husband is in the military... We gained jurisdiction over SS so WE wouldnt have to go to Kentucky to fight with her in court... She has to come here for court days... So thats another reason is WHY does she DEMAND to be on the emergency contact list... What the HELL can BM do all the way in Kentucky if something happens????? Please tell me that??? She doesnt want ME on the list however I work at a VERY flexible place and come and go as I please and if something were to happen I can be there in 2 minutes... Seems like she doesnt want whats BEST for the KID shes wants things to go HER way... She is VERY possesive and VERY jealous that I am now in the picture... She tried to get my DH to marry her when she was pregnant and he knew he didnt want to so he didnt... 6 months into the relationship he marries me I can kind of see how that would piss me off lol and I get to take care of her kid while she is 10 hours away
I like to throw that in her face every chance I can....
BM is just trying to control
BM is just trying to control a situation that she has no way of controlling. It's dumb for her to be on the emergency contact list and not you.
OP- did you see my
OP- did you see my questions?
If I understand you correctly you and DH have custody of SS, correct?
If BM is in another state what does it matter that day care says BM can't call or pick up SS?
And so what she wants to be on the emergency contact list? What does it matter? Put her on the list. Let her spin her wheels.
Ok, I know I'm an uber-bitch
Ok, I know I'm an uber-bitch SM but one of my very favorite things to do (especially starting at a young age) is love love love my skids, take them places, buy them things, be all ooey-gooey. Give them big fat kisses and hugs when picking up and dropping off, etc.., ESPECIALLY when BM is watching. It would absolutely eat BM alive that the skids loved me. }:) The trade-off is now SD13 lives with us because frankly she likes me better than her BM! You can imagine BM REALLY hates me now.
*Sidney* LOL I LOVE LOVE LOVE
*Sidney* LOL I LOVE LOVE LOVE that the Skid lives with you now... Im sure SD is VERY happy she sure looks like she is
*Amber3902* No We do not have custody we get SS2 1 week out of every month cause BM lives in Kentucky with her military husband.
B/C BM is THROWING AN ABSOLUTE fit that she can't call everyday he is in day care to check on him and if he has a "meltdown" SHE wants the day care to call HER... Ok thats fine we dont care either way but if it is a HUGE fit what can she do??? He is 2!!! He wont talk on the phone anyways.... But it is VERY IMPORTANT for her to be on the pickup list and phone list... We dont want her on the pick up list cause she is CRAZY like will kidnap him cazy... We are worried we will go to pick him up and he wont be there...
The bitch is on the list but is the point??? SHE made herself out to be a damn fool and now the day care lady feels "threatened" by her and does not want BM to call/come by the day care... I think the BM did that to herself. SHe had the chance to call the day care and act civil she chose not to be so now she lost the "privilege" of being on the list I think...
Did I also mention that BM
Did I also mention that BM thinks WE should have to "share" our 1 week a month with HER parents..... She is bat shit crazy... And actually we are being FORCED to do that this week... The BM is in town bc of court Friday and we dont get SS until tonight thru sunday morning... Her reasoning is: "Well YOU didnt let the kid see my parents last month so its only fair they get part of your week" BM's lawyer emailed that to OUR lawyer and our lawyer just said FYI.... I was like.... "Um are you going to fight this for us or just send us the email" needless to say the lawyer DIDNT fight it and we had to share our week
Happy go fucking lucky..... HaTE this shit and DH and I have fought ALL week about this shit...
As hard and awful as it is,
As hard and awful as it is, it may be one of those times you have to step back and let DH take the fall out. I hate hate HATE having to do that, but from time to time when he didn't stand up and do what "I" thought he should, (which of course was always the right thing haha), I just backed completely out of it and let it smack him in the face.
Have any decisions been made as far as when your SS is older and can't stay a week at a time? Or will that depend on his psychoBM and where her guy is stationed?
Sidney I JUST told DH I was
Sidney I JUST told DH I was out of the picture and I would go support him on Friday however the researching and putting everything in his little folder for him to take... Im DONE!!!! DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE!!!!!!! He can take it or leave it I dont care...
As far as SS and when he is older nothing yet we will go back to court when he is 5 and if they dont live closer then we will prob get every school break and summer Im guessing... But we are trying to put as a "clause" in the papers Friday that if the BM and Stepdad have to go out of the country for his job then we gain full custody... No reason for him to be out of the country with just his mom and stepdad when ALL of his family is in the area that WE live... So we are going to give that a shot maybe if nothing else it will just scare them to stay in the states
Wow BM is crazy. I agree
Wow BM is crazy. I agree with Sidney, it sounds like you are getting so stressed out about this and you probably are going to have just take a step back.
I tried to help my BF at the time with his custody issues, but he got mad when I told him things he didn't want to hear.
Yeah, support your DH but let him handle the issues.