You are here

bookgirl's Blog

becoming manipulative

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Mon, 08/17/2009 - 3:57pm

I was looking at my planner today & for fun I looked back at the last 6 months. I realised there's been a serious change in visitation & that it's dropped off severely in these last few months. There are many factors for this, we moved & SKs don't have as much space here, I've been busy with work, DH & BM are having a legal battle over debts from their marriage & we've been pretty broke since DH's over time at work was cut. One huge factor, however, has been me.

another weekend with SKs has come & gone

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Mon, 08/10/2009 - 11:02am

I was lucky enough to be working for most of the one night, two day visit. DH was incredibly grouchy when I got home from work at 5 on Saturday & asked me if we should keep the kids an extra night. I told him no, he was being so grumpy that I don't think it was fun for anyone. After he dropped them off, it was like a weight had been lifted from the car. DH actually started smiling & joking with BS & I. Then he told me about how he really has been a better dad to BS than he ever was to SD8 as a baby, and although he was better with SS4, he left when he was only 18mos old.

typical BM

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Thu, 07/30/2009 - 9:25am

At the beginning of summer DH & I decided to try & get all of the kids signed up for some kind of activity. We put BS in swimming lessons which he loved & SD in some kind of cheerleader workshop because she begged us to, which left us trying to find something for SS4. Well I checked my work email yesterday & there was a notice about youth soccer. So I called DH & told him I'd sign him up but only after BM had been informed & had agreed to take him. So DH texted her & even called her to no avail. Then it dawned on me.

DH stands up to BM

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 10:47am

In his defence, DH has done better than ever lately. He used to chat with her about things that had nothing to do with the kids & if she wasn't a psycho who twisted everything around & lied about is constantly this wouldn't be a big deal. So my policy is the less she knows the harder she has to work to twist her sick lies about us. DH didn't get this for a long time. Well, he came down with a horrible virus which destroyed our fishing plans (sad) & the dr told him it was very contagious. So we cancelled the SK visit. Kind of sucks that he's so sick I can't bask in this much.

keeping the beast at bay

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 5:46pm

Vacation was wonderful, DH & I basked in that newly married glow. It was great to have the 3 of us without the drama. Now DH & I have returned home. BS went home to spend a week with my sister which is hard because i've never been away from him this long. DH wants to get SKs for a while & I pulled a rather dirty trick to get out of it. A little background on DH--he's a hard core fisherman, that and hunting are like drugs for him, he can't say no. So all I had to do was point out all of the great fishing that involve hiking in. We're headed up tomorrow, he sort of went 'kids?

quiet on the western front

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 7:41pm

With only a few days to go until our vacation to Las Vegas and a peaceful breakfast this morning with MIL that didn't end with her going on and on about what a horrible job I do as a step mom (she actually told me that she's glad DH has me and I'm in their family), I feel myself breathing in a deep sigh of relief. Chances are it won't last too long, but at least I know I've got a good two weeks. Yesterday I got my copy of Stepmonster and I'm just about finished with it.

Terrible

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Sat, 07/11/2009 - 9:39pm

DH's grandmother passed away a few days ago. It wasn't a surprise, but all of us were sad to say goodbye. The funeral was today. When DH & I arrived at the service, there was BM with her parents. I definitely agree that if they were close she had a right to say goodbye, but after BM had an affair, DH's grandmother never had a nice word to say to her. She made it clear that if BM ever showed up at her house again, she would be told to leave. So there she was. To top it off, BM sat right behind DH & I during the service. I'm actually surprised she didn't stay for dinner afterward.

tricked, i could kill DH!

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Fri, 07/10/2009 - 12:12am

So today I had a very successful day at work. It was so wonderful (I adore my job). To top it all off, DH was wonderful. He'd had the day off & stayed home because he'd said he wanted a day with just him & BS1. I should've known that after breakfast in the morning he'd be shamed & guilted by MIL into getting them. She's always doing this to us & to be honest, I only complain because a part of me feels like a bad person for fighting stepmotherhood so much. I wish I could just welcome them unconditionally into my home...but I can't & mostly I'm ok with that.

package deals

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 12:47am

I find it interesting & very admirable that so many blended families went into their marriages ready to treat SKs as a package deal with DH. I feel like maybe I didn't get the mother gene. Don't get me wrong, I slid into the role as mom for BS1 very easily & gladly. I've loved every minute of parenting him & can proudly & confidently say that I am a good mom. Why is it so much harder to do this for SKs? It started when I first moved in with DH. It seemed like BM had tried to make friends with me, but I haven't seen her keep any friends.

on the wake of the BM explosion

bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 12:29am

So I might sound completely selfish here, but i've noticed that after these huge fights between DH & BM, DH will go for a really long period of time without seeing or talking to SKs. I don't think he means to cut them out, but I think he would rather stay away than have to go through BM. This has kind of been a cycle since we met & I think he did basically the same thing when they were married. I should also point out that I can't make DH do anything, he's as stubborn as me & we've really had an interesting time with that.

Pages