My stepkid had a birthday early in the same month as my biokid. My DH asked if skid wanted a party or to have friends over for bday. DH asked several times. Answer was no. 2 weeks later it's my biokid's bday. We had a big picnic at the park, potluck & volleyball game & cupcakes... A full celebration. When I called to invite close family, I explained why we didn't have a gathering for my skid & we are for biokid.

When my husband & began dating his daughter's hair was long & beautiful... The moment the bio mom met me the hair got cut to just below the earlobes. My hair ranges in length (& color) but mostly it's longer. She desperately wants her hair to grow but seriously gets a haircut once a month... It's very short. My husband would love for his lil girl to have long hair again & once made the comment if I cut hair the bio mom would most likely let her grow hers.

We have my bio kids & step kids on the same weekend rotation. While I see some positives to having them on different weekends, mainly I think the stepkids would eventual become resentful of our time with my kids. My husband is VERY close to my kids & my kids are overall just more fun to bless with activities. The stepkids are not thankful, no enthusiastic & not outgoing, so when we have has them without my kids we stick more to the house & parks, etc.

How is it in your family? Why do you have it that way? Thoughts?

For three times when I clean out drawers or rooms, just simple cleaning out broken toys, old drawings, outgrown or stained clothing, etc. The step kids go to bio moms & no crap--- my husband gets a text saying the kids are upset that step mom is changing things. I'm not throwing out precious memories! So this final time I text her personally, "I am cleaning out rooms & drawers, if you feel the kids are genuinely upset I will bag up the discarded things & bring them to you, for you to save things & go thru them with your kids." To my surprise she said "Yes, please do.