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Happy SD18th Birthday to Me

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SD finally turned 18 today. The run up today has had a little intrigue and drama, but I suspect there will be more to come as we complete this transition. The last 3 years have been the easiest since SD dropped contact after we learned she flunked the 9th grade and wanted her transferred to the high school DH teaches at. We only see her when presents are involved. Still no word on whether SD will be graduating from high school. Child support runs through her normal graduation date, so one more month of CS payments to go.

16 days and a bunch of "what if" anxiety on the count down to SD turning 18

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16 days to go. There were so many times in the last 7.5 years that I would think of the day SD would turn 18 and it just seemed so far away. Though DH might not think of it in quite these terms, I’m viewing this as the end of a prison sentence for a crime I did not commit. I have a lunch planned with a fellow SP to celebrate my release (though we actually have to pay CS thru June in our state to account for “18 or normal high school graduation whichever is later”).

Christmas report

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With no word or reply to phone calls from sd17.5 on whether she was going to MIL's with us to open presents Christmas day, DH and I headed off to do Christmas morning with my family. At noon I called MIL to let her know we were stopping to pick up the dog (FIL loves our dog so we usually bring him over with us) and would be over in a few minutes. She said to have DH check his messages as  sd17.5 had called and said she had food poisoning and couldn't come over. She wanted someone to drop off her gifts. I thanked MIL for message relay and said I would let DH handle it.

No word on sd17.5 for Xmas visit

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It is 2:16 pm on Christmas Eve. Still no return call from SD 17.5 on whether we are picking her up for MIL's present party tomorrow. Since she doesn't have a driver's license she needs a ride from someone to get there. No problem for me but DH and the extended family will be upset.

Maybe she really did get picked up by the police raid on the rave that I blogged about earlier in the week!

facebook snooping and will SD make it to xmas?

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I make it a habit to check the facebook page of SD17.5 every few days. We aren't FB friends, but she has her page set to public (mine is not!) so it makes is easy to see what kind of mischief she has going on. That is how I learned about her being under house arrest, hanging out with much older boys, and her new habit of smoking a hookah pipe (yeah right that isn't a bong!). I haven't told DH what I've learned on FB because the ostrich approach to things he can't fix seems to be working for him right now.

O/T name change....

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So my grandma has this weird habit where she makes seating assignments for family dinners with name cards. Because my SIL and I have the same name, we had been labeled as firstname R.B. and firstname B. for years now. I've decided to keep my last name for a variety of reasons, no hyphen, just my same name since birth. Well now that DH and I are married, grandma decided that I am now to be known in the family as "first name B.O." and that is what my new name card says at the dinner table.

Mrs. Brutallyhonest

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BF has now become DH. From previous posts, we had been discussing marriage after being together 7 years, living together 6. BF/DH surprised me with a proposal on 10/10 and suggested we elope the following weekend, which we did. Only the dog was present for the ceremony. It avoided family drama and I really hate dressing up.

I'm still worried about SD17.5 and her ability to create drama in our life, but am so excited to finally have all the benefits that go along with drama I had long endured.

Not to tell, that is the answer.

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I have my answer. I not going to tell BF about what I discovered about SD17 on facebook. The support and answers you all offered where great, insightful and understanding of the SM’s precarious perch.

But your answers aren’t what convinced me of my course of action. If was BF himself that convinced me there is nothing good that can come with revealing what I know.

To tell or not to tell, that is the question.

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Background: SD17 stopped doing EOW visitation at age 15 after she flunked 9th grade and BF got over his guilt parenting enough to demanded punishment, consequences, and decent grades. We have seen SD 2-3 times per year since and the visits (surprise) only coincide with events where she is getting presents. Although sometimes that isn't enough of an incentive. We know SD also flunked the 10th grade, likely flunked 11th (we know she was supposed to do summer school this summer again) and we currently aren't sure where she is going to High School.

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