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Half-Siblings and Custody Modifications

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Wed, 05/29/2019 - 1:02pm

Looking for insight or opinions from others who maybe have had similar situations. 

So, a little background: DH and BM reopened their case over a year ago for modification. I won't go into too many details as to what DH is seeking to modify because it's not relevant to my question. But BM is seeking to modify to 50/50 at minimum. 

During their original divorce, DH was named the custodial parent and BM the NCP, despite that at the time the divorce was finalized, BM had a new baby, now SD's half-sister. 

Something to look forward to!!

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Tue, 05/28/2019 - 12:24pm

Today is the last day my inlaws are staying with us. 

They're OK people but I'm ready to have my house to myself. Plus they are messy houseguests. Oh and did I mention that MIL had the audacity to ask DH if I ever cook? For one, not her business. And two, yes I average 4-6 times a week. 

Anyway, in about 3 weeks will start my extended time without SD as she will spend most of the summer with BM. I love her but theres a reason I don't have my own kids. And even if I did have my own, it would be a heck of a lot different. 

Disengaging

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Sun, 05/26/2019 - 9:19am

I think I have finally reached the point where I am going to start disengaging. 

This week has really tested me. SD has no respect for personal property not her own and certainly not anyone else's. A few days ago, she kept leaving her guitar on the ground and slamming it onto chairs and into walls. 

Just this morning, I find dumbbells just sitting at the top of the stairs and a deck of playing cards just strewn about the living room floor. 

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OT- In Laws Visit

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Thu, 05/23/2019 - 8:18pm

It's day 2 of my In-laws staying with us. And it's day 2 of us doing NOTHING all day. I am bored out of my mind. 

I've made suggestions. Believe me. 

I took time off work for this. Maybe that was my first mistake because working would be a heck of a lot more fun then staying at home all day. I am absolutely not a homebody. 

OT- Hiring a cleaning service

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Sat, 05/18/2019 - 7:02pm

I felt incredibly guilty and a number of other emotions about hiring a cleaning service. But I did this weekend. They did a deep clean and it was SO worth it. 

Really considering continuing to hire a cleaning service to come at least every two weeks.

Cleaning is my BIGGEST source of stress. I'm tired of feeling like I'm constantly doing it. And cleaning just takes up so much time and energy that leaves me irritable and drained. 

Anyone have experience with this? Is it a game changer?

Need some perspective

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Wed, 05/15/2019 - 12:03pm

I like to get an outsider's perspective to be sure I'm not being overly judgy. 

Let me preface this, I am an only child and my bioparents were married until I was an adult. So, I dont know anything about having a sibling etc.

Anyway, SD lives with DH and me primarily. There are no other children in the HH. At BM's she has a half sister and a stepbrother (but stepbrother living with his BM). Anyway SD is about to be 7 and is still sharing a bed with her 3 year old sister. They also take baths together. Is this normal? 

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Venting

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Fri, 05/10/2019 - 3:17pm

So, yesterday SD had an event at school involving a presentation of a project. The event started at 4pm. 

Thursdays SD goes with BM after school. Well DH asked BM if she needed him to pick SD up after school at 3:15 so that she could be at the event on time. And BM refused and said the teacher had already offered to keep her but that we needed to pack extra snacks. I know it's just 45 minutes but we live literally 4 houses down from the school. SD could have had a nice little break at home and spent some extra time with DH and ate her snacks at home. 

Whose TV is it anyway?

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Tue, 05/07/2019 - 7:59pm

So, I'm really curious how other households run and how other people grew up.

I'm an only child. My parents did not revolve their life and their TV watching around me. Yes we sometimes watched kids shows or movies together. But if my parents wanted to watch something they did. And I was off in my own world playing with barbies, coloring, you name it. 

Is this soft PAS?

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Sun, 05/05/2019 - 2:46pm

A little background, DH and BM have an ongoing court case. DH has primary custody but BM is trying to argue for 50/50. And in her argument, on a legal document, BM has called SD "spoiled and bratty". 

The other night as DH and I were saying goodnight to SD6 she said she wanted to tell us something. SD said that the Monday following a weekend possession with BM (DH has primary custody), SD asked BM if the next weekend she'd be with dad. BM advised her yes and SD said "yay!" As a response and BM reacted by telling the child that she was being "kind of mean". 

At a loss

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Submitted by Cbarton12 on Tue, 04/30/2019 - 6:27pm

SD(6) is in Kinder. Twice this year she's left PE without permission just because she "doesn't like PE". And today at the field trip to the zoo, SD stayed at the playground when her class left because she supposedly didn't hear her class calling her. 

The prior 2 times she lost TV privileges for 2 days. But both times DH still played board games with her or SD played with toys. IMO this defeats the purpose of a punishment if she still gets to have fun. Any insight or differing opinions? I am childfree and have no other experience. 

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