Adding the insult to the injury
Following your advice, I did not say anything to Feral Forger SD24 (yet) or any other family members, and thought about comments that were posted on my previous blog post.
Last night as we sat watching the new netflix series Griselda, I did however bring up the fact that I am angry. "Im not happy with Feral Forger right now" is how I put it. "I dont like how she bashes you to your own family", and proceeded to relate the few details I had and where they came from.
His response was amusement as he responded "Well thats on her, and her mother used to do the exact same thing, and look how it went for her". Yes, I had forgotten, Toxic Troll Bm, during their separation phase, had gone to a few family gatherings for something like Thanksgiving or whatever and she had spent her time bashing husband, telling them all the bad stuff - how he abused her verbally and emotionally. And that created a lot of drama because the family did not want her there bashing one of their own. Weird how I forgot that.
Anyway, Husbands next comment was "well now your going to be REALLY mad, because she just asked me for money last week"...
Yup. I thought of JRI, and the off-site subsidizing and the monthly cash grab. "How much?"
"800$, for rent. I told her I cant help her".
I aksed him, "so even when she bashes you then asks for money, you still dont tell her 'no, and you need to stop bashing me to my family' ?!? You dont create that boundary? Just because shes your child doesnt mean she gets a free pass to treat you like sh!t then bash you behind your back!"
I just will have to step back. I am not going to support this, but I cannot get involved.
**** Edited to Add****
Her asking for money isnt my issue right now, her patterns of getting kicked out for various reasons are my big stressor right now. She will be asked to leave somewhere, and will call crying and tearful, asking for a chance to move back in. Husband knows thats not something we can do and survive. He feels bad, feels like a 'bad father', and feels guilty for saying no, and then lashes out. Either by moodyness or anger. It will come out of nowhere (because Im not told this is whats happening until much later).
At least this time I know, and can prepare, and maybe things will be different. I do know that she has burned a lot of bridges with others.
She has a new boyfriend, maybe they can move in together. Hoping.
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CLove, I know it's
CLove, I know it's infuriating, but you should be happy your spouse said no - end of story.
Why oh why do you care so much what this person does or says? Do you have a therapist? If not, please get thee to one and try to figure out why you can't leave well enough alone and have a driving, almost obsessive need to interject and control things.
You must be a ball of stress worrying about what trashy people think or are saying to others. If you passed a gang of losers on the street and they talked trash about you or someone you know, would you take their opinions to heart?
No, you wouldn't because THEIR opinions don't matter. They don't even know you OR the other person. It's quite liberating for me to know that I am NOT everyone's cup of tea, and where bad things have been said about me, but not because of anything I really did, but rather some person just doesn't like me, I DISREGARD what they say. And I let other adults stand up for themselves in their relationships. I might not like what someone says about a friend or partner, but if it's THEIR relationship with that person, I stay out of it.
Right
"I just will have to step back. I am not going to support this, but I cannot get involved."
I just need to protect myself, and not let that energy get to me.
I quickly changed the subject and we continued watching Griselda.
I did get a little into therapy. I have a Dr sending me to "mood" online therapists, its costing out of pocket. Finances are being worked on for myself, so Ill need to get those in line...
100%. He told her no. What
100%. He told her no. What more do you want? You're looking for something you will never get... why did you even bring it up?? Seriously who cares what she said... literally only you.
You need to work on honestly disengaging from the generational f ups.
I can only imagine the stories BM has said about me. I know for fact she has "blamed" for her and SO "not being best friends anymore." End of the day... IDGAF. She looks stupid.
Clove... move on from caring about what these people say.
Edited Post
Im less concerned right now about the original bashing and more about what lies ahead (her getting kicked out for non payment of rent, lashing out, nasty texting, "I hate you, you horrible effing b, you took my daddyeeeee")
And then the conflict in my marriage yet again because of her. I am going to avoid any and all conversation about her and her state of finances. Her anything. Period, dot.
You are worrying about things
You are worrying about things that honestly probably won't ever happen. He told her no with money, the girl hasn't lived with you in years. Be happy! You need to move on from the "you stole my daddy" stuff. Seriously. It's irrelevant in your life.
Work in therapy to move past all your feelings about "caring" what these girls say and do.
You are spiraling. Get caught up in their drama. Your husband lives a carefree life. Take after him.
Im not trying to be mean but you are FAR from being disengaged from the drama.
Edit: When is the last time she really effected your life besides stuff you LET bother you?
I can help you with this. she
I can help you with this. she texts or calls or messages you and spews her ugly ... hang up, or delete or flip off the phone and move on.
but don't waste your good energy on her not yet happening chaos.
so what do you have planned for this weekend?? something fun I can live vicariously???? (and let's go Lions!!)
Weekend Plans
Saturday is an art gallery exhibit. 40 high school students and Im going to support them. Acutally 39 because Powersulk didnt get hers done in time.
Sunday looks to be warm and sunny so Im thinking a nice long hike is in order, while the footballers rage at their televisions.
that's me. I'm a football fan
that's me. I'm a football fan who will be raging at my tv. I'm a Lions fan, been one for over 50+ years. If you hear yelling, it will be me from my living room in not too sunny, not so warm NY.
oops!
I saw some highlights...sorry!
AgedOut, I'd love to see
AgedOut, I'd love to see Detroit at the SuperBowl! They've never made it and this could be their year? Keep growling, Hon, and keep those fingers and toes crossed!
...
The only way you'd be worried about that text is if a part of you believes it is true. And it's not.
If I got a text like that I'd laugh for taking up so much space in her head, and I'd deprive her of the response she's so desperate for. But I'd never get a text like that because she's blocked.
Just let the bashing go
The important thing is, he said no. Side note: she will learn what lesser amount will get a yes.
As far as the bashing, his family will love him forever regardless, like he will love FF forever regardless. You would be doing yourself a favor to let it go since it won't change. "Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs".
Peace.
You could write a book
about how you attained that Peace.
Yes. Protect my own A$$ets and let it go.
Thanks for the sidenote. I actually wondered that myself. Briefly. But, let that go also.
Edited Post
Yeah, there are more important things afoot right now.
Just wow.
"Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs".
So much truth. And so much more wise than just my .....facts are neither........
Great stuff JRI.
He might be a lazy, beer
He might be a lazy, beer drinking, only cares about his own comfort, failed-at-parenting mess of a pathetic human. BUT - he did tell you about the request and he did say no. THAT in and of itself is a positive imo.
Marital A$$ets
Yes, and Im hoping that he doesnt swoop in there behind my back, but will at least tell me. Im in California so thats my money too (ha) even though we keep our finances separate.
I should add that Im now afraid...
Start protecting your money.
Start protecting your money. If he is too broke to buy groceries, feed yourself. If he is asking you to buy something, take a page from the BM book and poor-mouth like you have to wait for your next paycheck.
He said no.
He said no.
Why would you have thought that it was an appropriate time for him to bring up whether she may have been bashing him? Did you tell him (again.. if you did.. that was not being disengaged.)? otherwise how would he generally know?.
You have to understand.. he is her parent.. and any parent is going to feel a certain amount of guilt for not helping their child.. no matter how much that kid is floundering at life.. even when that kid may have bashed him or his decisions.. people lash out when they are angry.. he likely understands that and what she says is a lot more to do about HER than the subject of her bashing.. and as he reminded you.. the people who hear it.. they know the deal.
He wasn't going to take the opportunity to give her some life lesson.. tbh.. the ship has sailed there.
He said NO.. he didn't give her the money... I'm not sure why you even felt the need to be discussing her with him.. why don't you spend your time discussing things you are interested in and fun stuff? He doesn't need to keep hearing what a turd his kid is.. it is his kid.. for better or worse.. be thankful he had a spine when it came to the rent request.
I agree you should probably go to counseling because your too addicted to the drama right now..
This is a little different
Im afraid. Based on the long history of her needing to be rescued constantly from places where she cant pay rent or is being asked to leave because she trashed the place. Its her pattern. He had to swoop in and rescue her 2 times from 3 hours away. Paid the back rent, and cleaned up 6 bags of garbage. That was the last time.
Since shes been back in town, shes lived in 1 other place, and thats when she called MY phone, told me she should be able to get her old room back, because its her fathers house, and I had to shoot that sh!t down.
Im afraid thats going to happen again and I want to be prepared: she calls him crying. He feels bad, and lashes out. And I figure out later hes lashing out at me because she called him crying and he is unable to rescue, feels bad. Then I get the nasty texting from FF "you horrible b!tch you took my dadeeeee". etc, because shes never come up with anything new or creative.
Block that twatwaffle. STOP
Block that twatwaffle. STOP subjecting yourself to this toxicity. You have the power to revoke her access. BLOCK.
Someone pointed out
That her bashing of us gives us an "easy out' from helping her.
She already knows she cannot call me and get back in the house. Block block block.
That's one way to look at it.
That's one way to look at it. However, in your situation, you have long been justified in blocking FF. Primarily due to FF's craptastic behavior and treatment of you, but also because you allow her to take ip space in your head, which negates your peace of mind. BLOCK.
You can't control what he
You can't control what he does with his money... and if he chooses to bail her out.. you need to decide what your response is to that.. would you leave him? He knows you don't like her.. he knows you don't want him to help her.. but.. it's his kid.. what do you think he will do? I do hope your own accounts are separated.
Bank accounts, finances
All separate. His money and my money.
HOWEVER, if he is short money, then I pick up things like groceries, entertainment, bills. Hes rarely been short cash, but if she pushes hard enough, Im hoping and praying he doesnt cave, and then Im shorted.
In the end.. this is his
In the end.. this is his child.. and it's likely that he will never want to stop helping.. whether he is in a position to.. that is different.
And when he is shorting you his share of the groceries.. keep track of it.. and get it from him next paycheck.. maybe he will not have money to 'spare" if you hold him to his share.. and if you do.. it's his business what he does with the rest I guess..unless you decide to make a rule of spending your own money and discussing anyting over a certain amount?
Dynamics
The dynamics of the continued pattern. That she will need something, he is unable to provide it, I get blamed. He lashes out. Typically I find out later, that this is what is actually happening.
At least this time I am prepared. $800 is a lot of rent to be short. For someone with no car. EGADs.
I will be keeping track of things...
Nothing you say or do will
Nothing you say or do will change this pattern.. she is always going to blame you because your SO likely puts you under the bus wheels.
all you can do is set boundaries for your own money.. but I have a feeling you will be stuck with her for life.
Uneducated therapy session
Uneducated therapy session here - please disregard if you like.
There is root cause for your fear. You have no basis to believe your spouse would give FF so much money that you would end up carrying the full financial load for your household, so it's got to be something else.
He keeps you in the dark and disregards your needs/wants/feelings. I think this is the source of your hypervigilance. You have an overactive need to control because something in your life feels out of your control.
I get a lot of anxiety when I don't feel like I have control over my own life. But, I know this and I take full responsibility for controlling me. That keeps me busy enough that I'm not trying to control others. Proof positive: I moved out of the house with my XBF of 4.5 years and ended the relationship because I knew what I needed (a home and a loving, supportive and committed partner) and he couldn't give it to me. I didn't try to control him though he may think I was trying to by telling him what I needed. He had a choice to step up or break it off, but he was too cowardly to admit he couldn't meet my needs and let me go. He had to wait until I did it for myself.
You can only control yourself and, for me, I realized it was a LACK OF TRUST in myself that made me try to control the environment around me.
I don't think you trust yourself and I think you feel like you have no control over your life, so you're trying to control your environment. That is not going to get you very far.
When decisions involving the
This is directed at CLove; not you, la_dulce.
Frankly, I don't like CLove's H. He's a good time Charlie as both a father and a partner. It's all about him, his wants, and him trying to look like he's Awesome Dude when he's actually Super Dud.
Its not always bad
Lately its been...ok.
1. Decisions. I need to emphasize that again and again.
2. Eliminate contact and also eliminate any conversing about them or questions.
3. I need to not care about karma or even justice.
4. He truly does believe that I should not be involved in any Feral Forger dealings because I get emotional.
I agree about the importance
I agree about the importance of trusting yourself and realizing you can only control you. That is my personal goal i've set in my shit situation also. Do not react with emotion. For each shitty thing SO does, whether intentional or unintentional to me, i will take the energy i would have used in an emotional reaction, and put it into myself. My home. My family. When i have mastered this, either things will improve because i'm not acting out as an emotional mess (because that's my share of the "blame" here), or he will continue to be shitty and i can do like you did, and leave with a clear head and not be painted as "crazy." Part of me does care what others think when it comes to the "crazy" part, but another part of me cares what *I* think. I will no longer sit around in fear of "the other shoe" dropping. Let the dysfunction rain down. I will assess and act, but only after i have mastered my own emotions. At 40-something it's time to conduct my relationships as an adult, not an emotional teen. I don't trust my partner. But worse, i have stopped trusting myself and stopped believing that i am enough. WE are enough! All of us on this site.
Yes when you value yourself
Yes when you value yourself enough, you won't be emotional... you'll be ANGRY. Thats the stage I had to get to. When I feel wronged by my DH, I don't cry or become depressed like I used to when we were first together....I get mad. And I don't just stew in my anger, I let him have it with both barrels. At this stage in my life, I will not be put last. I will burn everything to the ground and rebuild from the ground up if I have to.
The breaking point came when LI lived with us and I had an epic meltdown. They probably heard me yelling 3 towns over. I told DH he can either live with her or me but it wouldn't be both of us. No way was I going to be cook, maid and workhorse while she gave me attitude and lazed around.
I went back in time
You know what? Id forgotten a LOT! Maybe I have a form of PT(SD). But yes, not being kept in the loop of information, being kept in the dark, keeps me "off balance". I am hurt by the bad treatment, and am trying to build myself up, as I have continually been brought down. Some of the things said to me were and are horrible. I cannot even post them here.
Im still in debate as to how I want the future to go and who with. A lot of work still to do on me.
Everything you commented is spot on.
La_dulce is right. Opinions
La_dulce is right. Opinions only matter if you let them. I cannot begin to describe the freedom I felt after finally realizing that. They're entitled to their opinions - even when they're wrong.
CLove, you know FF is a horrible person. Don't address her toxic horsepuckey by trying to "clear things up". You're better than that. You're waaaaaay above her sewage level. Just be you. Those who matter will see the truth. Those who believe the bullshit are not worth your time.
See my reply to ESMOD
I have a bigger worry now, than people opinions.
If it's what you mentioned
If it's what you mentioned above, I believe you are worrying about something that you don't have any evidence will occur.
If you trusted yourself to say, "Go ahead and spend your money on FF, you are still responsible for your share of the bills" you might feel less anxious about what could happen.
If you fear something will happen, take steps to protect yourself so you can rest easy that his decisions will not impact you negatively.
I edited
I edited my post above.
Husband has swooped in 6 hours roundtrip 2wice. The last time she was needing to leave somewhere she called me, and tried her song and dance then hung up on me and nasty texted.
I hate this stress. Id rather be concerned if I should go out dancing tonight. Probably wont, because if we have money to go out, then why no money for poor widdle stepdaughter?
"I hate this stress. Id
"I hate this stress. Id rather be concerned if I should go out dancing tonight. Probably wont, because if we have money to go out, then why no money for poor widdle stepdaughter?"
What!!??
FF is a fully capable ADULT. I promise you she is out doing whatever the eff she wants instead of paying her rent. So why in the eff shouldn't you and your hardworking spouse go out dancing?
I do not understand how your mind functions. How do you have so many conflicting feelings about FF? She's a terrible person, berates your husband, talks smack about everyone, is a liar and scammer, and a lazy bum who creates drama. You want justice and to call her out for her crap behavior YET you feel guilty spending your own hard earned money having a lovely evening with your spouse because FF didn't get her rent paid by daddy?
Where is the stress? Why are you so in knots about this? Girl, who hurt you?
Sarcasm doesnt come across
Im projecting the guilt that dadee will be feeling if we were to go out and enjoy ourselves rather than bail out his b!tch of a daugher with her rent.
You said it right, but I dont have conflicting feelings, husband does. As long as her patterns repeat like they have, she will need bailing out and if he doesnt do it hes a 'bad father" and there will be conflict in there with us somewhere.
I actually went back again
I went back again. Im stressing over nada (hopefully) it was 12/10/22 I posted about her nasty texting. She largely left me alone, except for a nasty instagram popup in spring 2023.
Im going in prepared to not think about her or powersulk this weekend, and on. If I really want to dredge up something to stress over its the room being empty and available for moving into in May...
STOP, woman. You do NOT need
STOP, woman. You do NOT need to worry about PS moving out as soon as she graduates in May.
I predict you will be SORELY disappointed. The current pattern is going to continue unless SHE decides she wants to live in beach town. I predict your spouse will never agree to clearing her room out. He will want her to have a place to come to when live gets hard in beach town.
I agree.. PS's room will be
I agree.. PS's room will be PS's room for the foreseeable future. She hasn't performed quite the burning platform level of things that her older sister has. I'm not saying that PS hasn't thrown Clove under the bus and hasn't blamed her or accused her of harassing her.. but in PS's own way.. Clove's "help" was harrassment.. it's all about perspective in these things. Kids don't necessarily see what is good for them.. and she resented being micromanaged.. to the point she blamed THAT for her failure.
And.. we all have the mystery of the lack of response to the text. PS's lack of ability to complete her projects on time has resulted in her not having a piece to put in the showing.. but you know WHAT???? Guess who is hurt by that? PS! she is the one that doesn't get the exposure.. the appreciation. She didn't respond because she didn't want to be told "I told you so.. you waited too long now y9u failed".. she doesn't want to hear about her shortcomings.. especially not from Clove.. who she now sees as a problem.. who is trying to edge her out.
PS will likely eke out graduation.. she will probably drift back and forth from mom's to dad's.. the room won't be available for Clove to rent.. or to use as a craft room.. it will be the kid's room. probably for several more years. It's possible that PS will pull an illegal act like her older sister and dad may cut her off from living there.. but nothing that has been said previously indicates that the kid is forging check material.. she is a bit lazy and doesn't want to take much responsibility.. and from what I see online.. she is right in the norms for GenZ.
What do you focus on? your relationship and life with your husband.. go DANCE. plan vacations.. spend time together... let PS, her mom and dad deal with whatever..
I agree that setting the ground rules that he can help.. but not at the expense of any shortfalls for joint obligations.. is a firm boundary.
She could have said. "well.. if you feel you have to help one of your kids.. that's your call.. but I won't pick up the slack in our budget.. so these are decisions you can't take lightly"
I think Clove needs to live her best life.. with as little thought to the kids as possible.. she can have a hard line about FF never coming to live.. and if she wants to set a line in the sand on PS.. she better be crystal clear about it now.. spring is coming.
CLove. Darlin'. I'm going to
CLove. Darlin'. I'm going to be blunt. FF and TT are pieces of shit. Don't be affected by shitty lowlifes with shitty behavior. You scrape that shit off and move forward with your head held high and the shit left behind in the gutter.
Oh you should see how my
Oh you should see how my steps talk about us to anyone yet turn around and have no problem asking for "money" or "help". Their reasoning is that its what their father is for and they are entitled to his help/money because they are his kids
You cant change that. Your husband will probably help her bury a body if she asked to even if it means catching a charge or being talked badly about to anyone who can hear it....They are bound with entitlement and guilt trip
SS here has told SO on
SS here has told SO on several occasions you must do anything I ask and give me anything I want because I am your son. SS must be right because that is what happens.
They will give in and can you
They will give in and can you blame them? This is their kids and most center their lives around doing anything to not feel guilty. The issue is when you offer these parents to end things so they can focus on their children, most of them do not accept it or try to get you to stay by other traps....This bewilders me
If i was a child centered parent, I would be single and focusing on my children but they refuse to do that instead they want their partners to be child centered and feed into this stupidity while doing 0 actual parenting
Cant count how many times I offered to end things amicably for the steps and my husband would lose it and beg or become conflictual to make my leaving difficult....this is bizarre
This. I have said to him that
This. I have said to him that it is fine if he wants to be there and do anything for his kids. That he can parent (or not) any way he wants. I will walk away. I can't be kids centric. I don't agree with that way of raising them. And he does what your does just won't let it happen. That is why it is going to make it hard because I am ready to go and not play games anymore.My cousin stayed single until her daughter was in college because she was all about her daughter and she knew it.
If these kids are adult age..
If these kids are adult age....this would be a h3ll NO for me and a hill I'd be willing to end my marital relationship on if I was not consulted
Probably wouldn't even get married to that person if I forsaw this pattern.
I don't do kid-centered relationships. And if these bio parents raised their kids properly while they were under 18 they wouldn't have to worry about the cash grabs when they're fully capable adults
Its one thing to help adult kids every blue moon if they are respectful, actively trying to improve themselves/their financial status, doesn't affect the household financials, and the spouse agrees to it (which if all of the above conditions are met then the spouse would have an easier time agreeing)
But it sounds like Powersulk and Feral Forager are very disrespectful, aren't trying to develop themselves, negatively impacts your household finances, and your husband should financially cut them off since they don't meet these criteria and especially since they have no respect for either your nor him.
Adult kids especially have to understand the SPOUSE comes first and that their wants as adults will not negatively impact / supercede the marriage.
And if my husband did respond with anything other than "yeah and this is my WIFE!" .... he'd be sleeping in the basement indefinitely until he figured ot out.
No it's not right. Imo. Your husband has it backwards
Hey Clove. Just wanted to
Hey Clove. Just wanted to stop by and say that I too am often my worst enemy and bring up step kid topics and get involved when I probably shouldn't. It's hard not to say what is on your mind, to have no one in real life to bitch about this stuff and to keep quiet about things coming up in the future when we can see that there is going to be an issue and our partners seem oblivious.
This stuff is tough and complete disengagement must be some rare state only achieved by those truely zen step parents. I doubt I'll ever get there. It just isn't how my brain works. But I slowly, slowly make progress.
I can see how you have made a lot of progress over the years too. I remember how involved you used to be in raising your sd when she was younger. You have disengaged a lot since then.
Thanks!
Wow, so we have some history on here together
I was going back and reading my past drivel. EGADS.
After 12 Years of Hell...
and another 3 of recovery for the damage done to my mental state by allowing such toxic behaviors to impact me....I finally learned my lesson.
-I do NOT get involved with DH and his kids UNLESS it will directly impact me. That's a mutual agreement between us set in counseling.
-I have limited info about DHs kids....don't want to know, don't care to know...UNLESS it impacts me.
-I could care less what they say about me.I I laught at their lies. Truth be told, those who know me, know those are lies. Those who believe those lies don't know me and don't count. I don't concern myself with what they say about DH. That's HIS battles. I know who I am, I know my worth, I know what I've done for that crew and I'm good...I sleep very well at night.
-While DH does not send a red cent to any of them, if he wanted to, that's his business and his money. Don't care as long as in doesn't IMPACT me or my finances.
-As kids are all adults now, there will NEVER be a time they will live with us. Heck, when they visit DH, they stay at hotels or with BMs family.
With these mindsets in place these past two years, my relationship with my DH has blossomed into a beautiful partnership. Through counseling, I have reconciled my deep dislike of DHs kids - they are humans that I would not be in relation with in my own social world and just because I'm married to their father does not FORCE me to be in relation with them. If I see them, I'm civil and superficial, kind of like the cashier at the grocery store.
I share this with you to encourage you to find a good therapist to help you process your anger. With a clear mind, you can then decide if you want to continue in this relationship with your DH or move on. I will say this...anger and bitterness ONLY hurt YOU (ask me how I know). Best to deal with that crap, establish some safe boundaries for yourself and make decisions that benefit YOU.
Big hugs, CLove. While we are total strangers to each other, I DO care about you, CLove...probably because our journeys are so similar. Big hugs, Sista.
((Big Hugs Back))
Thank you for your intentions of positivity and solid advice.
Because of you CLove, DH said
Because of you CLove, DH said no. What a huge victory.
He also is recognizing that FF is a POS and even though she is his... POS, he recognizes that she is a waste of money.
As others have advised, invest in your peace of mind, keep the message forward that in CA, any money spent on THEM, is your money as much as it is DH's and you do not agree to a single Cent being spent on THEM without prior discussion and agreement. That epiphany, that you mentioned above, was an eye opener for me. In a few short months, you will completely out of the subsidizing the Harpy squad business. Forever. Keep the prior notification and agreement message front a center and quit undermining your own peace.
Worrying about what ifs, is giving them space in your head and it steals your bliss. Please find a path to get past that. When the crop up, cut off their heads and get back to living your best life and investing in your peace. Kind of like Harpy whack-a-mole though with surgical precision that skins them alive until they crawl back into their cesspool to recover from the fileting.
I had my version of what you are going through. When SS turned 18 and there were no more visitations looming, no more whining and crying over CS by SpermGrandHag, and no more looming drama, I had what I can only classify as withdrawals. I was so tuned to attacking what invariably came next from the SpermClan that I was always ready. It was odd.
They did try to refocus their targeting of our son by trying to guilt him into repaying the CS they had paid to DW. They tried to leverage the three younger spermidiot spawned half sibs. That ultimately was the death knell of them as a consideration at all in SS-31's life.
Deep breaths, focus on you, and don't degrade your own peace by worring about what might could possibly happen next.
So, do what I say, not what I did.
t took me a while to detox from the 16yrs we spent under the CO, having to defend ourselves and SS from them at the drop of a hat. But, I did get there. Eventually. I progressively detuned over a year to 3-ish. Give or take.
Do not torture yourself ... like I did.
Take care of you.
PT(SD) Detox
Ive been working on the taking care of myself portion. And let go of that need to worry about what might happen.I still want justice and hope for that but knowing that part of it is probably what you said - having to detox from the need to be hypervigilant.
Thank you!
I don’t look into people bank accounts
But $800 a month. Because next month will be the same . Is a big amount of money. $10,000 a year. Hope you are getting everything you need.
Attn CLove:
CLove, I just replied to you on your previous blog titled Long Con.