I havent been here for a while - holidays, work, and all the other stuff. I really missed all the stories and learning, and also, felt that somehow perhaps I can help support others.

So, here is another update post.

This past New Years started out ok. It was BMs year to spend with her children (child#2 isnt there and isnt communicating with her) therefore SO and I went to a birthday-new years party at his fishing partners house. Lovely people, awesome food (fish stew) and of course some champagne.

We are ready to go anyway, and I receive a phone call from Munchkin, on her new Iphone. Crapola. Something happened at BM's house. Something definitely happened at BM's house. Like last year when there was drama - BM got drunk and rolled out of a moving car, and boyfriend (Tweedle Dum) was freaked out and texting SO about it. BM, last year, work up, and saw bruises and assumed that she had been the recipient of abuse. This time maybe, but rolling oneself out of a car doesnt exactly qualify.

Well, this new year, poor Munchkin called me crying and begging for us to pick her up. ok. We had BM drop her off. The story goes that boyfriend, who has been kicked out once before and sent to a homeless shelter, was in fact still there, but had gotten drunk for New Years and then gotten into a huge fight with BM. Munchkin hear him calling BM names such as C@nt and B!tch, which no child should ever hear her mother called this, no matter what my personal opinion is of this woman.

AND THEN. Said boyfriend, who is a known alcoholic, came into the room where munchkin was hiding and peed on the door. When she asked why he did that, his response was "this is where I always go." He was obviously out of and blind drunk. No excuses, you just dont do that.

I held Munchkin as she was sobbing, sad that her mother is going through this, angry at the (ex) boyfriend for ruining a nice evening and new years. Torn, and just really upset and emotional...my heart was breaking with hers.

So, now, Munchkin tells us that her mother is going to court and getting a restraining order on this guy, and he is kicked out permanently, for reals. To this date, we do not know if this has actually happened. It really is none of our business, except for Munchkins peace of mind and well-being. I ask, when I see Munchkin for her visitation with us, if she has seen him again and she tells me no. Thats about all I need to hear, I guess, but I am still curious how this works, and how the restraining order thing works, and about the shared auto they both bought together. Again, none of my business.

I am thinking to myself, that what if now that BM is alone, that she goes back to court, not for a restraining order, but for child support. That would crush us right now, but the courts can decide to reopen things, cant they?

These thoughts and more are ushering in the new year, and as I write this, a knot begins to form in my stomach. What ifs running rampant through my brain. Currently SO pays out of pocket for what munchkin needs, without paying BM child support. He pays $300 alimony. I know its an extraordinarily low amount, it could be worse. I just hope the delicate balance that we have achieved stays balanced for a bit longer (6 years?) but with a drama-prone toxic bi-polar BM, I think the next kick-in-the-pants is around the corner.

Whew. I hope everyone had a happy new years.