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Timeline for SD

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Submitted by EmilyBee on Mon, 12/13/2021 - 10:26am

She was four years old when I met her. Tiny, blonde with bangs, and enough energy to power an entire town. I learned a few things about her quickly - she absolutely hated to go to sleep and it took hours to get her down. She was always asking for something to eat. She had a very limited vocabulary and was obsessed with her grandmother and Aunt. She loved "Tangled" and "Spongebob" and slept every night with a Minnie Mouse doll. And then I learned a few more things - she hated to go to sleep because she worried that BM would leave and not be there when she woke up.

Timeline for SS

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Submitted by EmilyBee on Mon, 12/13/2021 - 9:56am

I remember when I met him. A short, chubby boy that had just turned ten years old - he had just celebrated yet another birthday without his mother present. He was very angry and moody- he was struggling in school and getting into trouble. DH had already been to several parent-teacher conferences, but SS refused to talk to anyone about how he really felt. All he really cared about was video games and resentment towards the BM. When DH and I first started dating, he asked SS how he felt about it.

My Name Will Never Be "Mom"

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Submitted by EmilyBee on Sat, 12/11/2021 - 9:01am

I know that my step-children will never call me "Mom" to my face. They refer to me as their mom to other people - such as teachers, their friends, and so on. I am listed as "Mom" in both their phones. They have given me Mother's Day cards and gifts.  But to my face, I know that is never what I will be called. SS calls his BM by her first name, and has been doing this for several years. SD refers to her as "My Real Mom," but there have been times she referred to her by first name as well. I never expect them to call me "Mom," even when they are grown adults.

Our First Encounter

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Submitted by EmilyBee on Sat, 12/11/2021 - 8:43am

I still remember it vividly. SD had been begging me all day to go over to her Aunt's house for a while. I finally relented and dropped her off. A few hours later, my husband walks through the door, red-faced. "You need to go get her right now!" he managed to say. I was worried something was seriously wrong, but then he explained - BM had shown up. Without his permission. Less than a week after they had met up and had a heart-to-heart about her getting her life together before spending time with either of the children.

DH

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Submitted by EmilyBee on Fri, 12/10/2021 - 10:59pm

I love DH with everything in me, but he is the most emotionally guarded person I have ever met. He never wants to talk about his emotions or feelings and cringes talking about his past. I completely understand. He was born to very young parents (19 and 20 years old). His father wanted him aborted, but his mother insisted she wanted him. The father was not involved in raising him and his mother greatly struggled raising him alone. Being so young, all she wanted to do was hang out with her friends and party.

What You Missed, BM

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Submitted by EmilyBee on Fri, 12/10/2021 - 2:07pm

Events that you missed because you were in jail/prison or you just weren't around.

August 2002 - Your son's first day of school.

February 2003 - Your son's Valentine's Day party at daycare.

April 2008 - Easter with your children.

August 2008 - Your son's first day of school and your daughter's first day of daycare.

October 2008 - Your boyfriend's birthday and Halloween with the children.

December 2008 - Christmas with your children and your son's Christmas program at school.

Timeline

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Submitted by EmilyBee on Wed, 12/08/2021 - 8:42pm

**This is rather long, but I am trying to write down everything that has happened**

2008-2011 BM starts her cycle of stealing, lying, constantly being arrested, in and out of jail, and neglecting her children. She steals from family. DH is trapped because her mother constantly enables her and uses the two children as pawns. BM frequently abandons the children at home. She goes to detox centers, but always manages to talk her way into leaving.    DH finally officially ends things with BM, and she is once again arrested.

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