Hi all.

What's done is done, and I have said to my "D"H what had needed to be said. I am done dealing with the psychosis, break-downs, drama, abuse, worries, fears, etc. I can no longer live like that and I won't have my sons living it, either. I know my limits, and I have no more to offer because frankly....I am not a saint, and I am clueless on how to deal/fix or cope with any of it anymore.

Now I will fill in some gaps, in list form, for all of you who have been kind enough to read this stuff so far.

It's been stated that the girl needs held. Indeed. We've done the therapist thing, and shrinks, and tests, some meds, etc.

It's been a few days since my last post.

I have avoided making a new post, actually, because I've felt a few of you needed to vent a bit more than I. My friend "goingcrazy" in particular. If you've not yet read her posts, please take a moment to do that. Afterwards, I'd like you to take another moment...and pray for both her family and for her. I am humbled by her strength, and her reaction to certain recent events. This is a tried and true woman, mother, and friend.

With that said, here goes.

I'd like to start with a public apology about my last post...where I sort of lost it at the end. *sigh* It just came out of me....the pain, anger, regret, the lost hope.

It's stupid, really; I never wanted to be a friggin' saint or anything. No, I wanted to be Mary Poppins. You know, a good mommy-person that added light and fun and life lessons here and there.

Time to tidy up...spoon full of sugar. All that good stuff.
But maybe without the chimney sweeps and the roof-top dancing; I'm scared of heights and hate being dirty.

Oh well.