The Beaver Chronicals...We should Date Edition
So.. we have established how Beaver earned her nickname. Now let me say this..while my ex, The Village Idiot, has been mostly neutralized...Beaver is still has not. Think The Angry beavers from the Duluth Trading Company. She is still attempts to go at DH, the latest was just two weeks ago where she attempted to yell and harrass DH. SD is 14...we have 4 years and counting till this coaster ride is over.
So...on to we should date....
Now when DH and Beaver first divorced Beaver just "ass"ummed that DH would still bend to her will and she would forever remain top Alpha Dog in his life. That DH, despite being the one to file for divorce was still pining away for her. Oh on the contrary, DH had gone on to start dating me, althought he did not tell Beaver and I had not met the kids. Now in all fairness, DH had been done with Beaver and her antics long before the marriage ended. As with a lot men it took him a while to make that decision to actually divorce her since he didn't want to hurt his kids.
So. Beaver after the divorce would call all the time to "chat" and wanted to come over to "watch TV" and wanted to share all holidays. As in come over to DH's house (he was living in the old marital house trying to sell it at the time) watch the kids open presents, go trick or treating, celebrate birthdays, etc. MMM...DH was like nah....I got this on my own. Needless to say..Beaver was not a happy Beaver.
Now Beaver continued to call and call and call. DH being a nice guy didn't want to be mean (he has since learned there is no nice with NBPD person) so he would just listen. So one morning around 5 a.m. 9 months after they divorced, Beaver calls DH on one of her "we need to chat" calls. DH answers and she rambles on how she didn't really get a chance to change for him and that there was a lot of hurt on both sides, blah, blah, blah. Neither of them were dating anyone and surely they were both lonely. DH had only gotten one sentence out during this whole conversation, Hello..are the kids alright? (it was 5 a.m. after all)
Sidenote: Beaver was previously a SAHM..not a housewife...just a SAHM,she made that distinction to DH. She didn't believe she should cook, clean, do laundry or anything else. She was to watch the kids and go shopping and talk on the phone. Beaver at this time still was not working and did not want to get a job. She was back living at home with her parents, due to not wanting to get a job. These calls, etc I believe were to be present in his life so she could weasel her way back in.
Ah..there was a snag in her plan...DH was not lonely and had moved on. He had started dating and had started dating me seriously. In fact at 5 a.m. on that morning..I was laying next to him listening to this whole verbal vomit from Beaver. She ended with, DH you will pick me up Friday for dinner and we can date. It was not a questionquestion, but a demand.
Ah..DH has his issues as in he has no filter and is blunt as an anvil...but he does have a shiny spine...said the following:
No..NO I do not want to date you. There are reasons I divorced you that I have told you repeatedly. You chose to ignore me for years. I am not lonely and I have started dating. In fact, I have a girlfriend and have had one for awhile. You do not know because IT IS NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS. In the future unless the kids are sick or they have an emergancy DO NOT CALL ME. I do not want to chat, I am not your friend. And with that he hung up.
Was that the end...OH H#LL TO THE NO>>>> she called back. and called back...and called back. After the 10th call, DH answered and asked ARE the kids sick? Beaver stammered no..but we need talk about this. I'm not done. Dh responded...I AM DONE. I have been done for a long time. I do not want to talk about this. I do not want to talk to you and I certainly do not want to date you. I have a girlfriend and she is here with me now. I'm going to go and talk to her. and he hung up.
Did that stop her..nope. That led to a barrage of text messages about how I was a whore (how would she know) and how he was an @ssh*le. A slew of messages how I was not going to be as good as her intimately and what she would do to him. (just EWWWWWWW) Dh just ignored all of that.....
I wish I could say she has gotten better..but considering she called me a whore and slut two weeks ago when DH was trying to talk to his daughter on the phone...nah she really hasn't.
footnote: Beaver is still single to this day...it's certainly a mystery as to why she is single. Maybe we need the Mystery Machine to figure out why. :)
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Comments
At least your DH has enough
At least your DH has enough balls to stand up to her....good for him...and you! ;)
So many men, my ex included are completely spineless when it comes to the ex with zero boundaries set which comes between the new relationship, hence a big reason on why I am now single.
I guess there are still men out there that will stand up for their new life and not let the ex interfere. Nice to know for the future!
Beaver sounds more "B" than
Beaver sounds more "B" than "N". BM here is also a BPD/NPD hybrid (IMO), but her N keeps the B in check. She too wanted DH back when he left and said she was upset that he didn't "fight for her" when she had an affair and wanted to kick him out of the house. Once she realized he was serious with me, the B disappeared and the N has been in full force since. Once she was able to successfully alienate my SS for 3 years, we no longer had to deal with her. Now he's 20 and there is no contact with her, thank god. She also never targeted me, I think the N wanted to look good, even if the B wanted to harass me.
You are lucky your DH has a spine - mine does too and it made steplife much easier, IMO. He has never let BM or SS be rude to me. Is Beaver not an alienator? Most B/NPDs are, it seems.
Oh she is alienator alrright
That is why SS18 hasn't step foot in our house in a year and when he sent a text two weeks ago to DH he echoed Beaver's sentiments that DH is piss poor Dad and that I am a whore and a slut. So yep...and she exels at making sure her kids are dependant on her.
I completely agree that she is more B than N.....and SS is also showing the signs of being BPD....
Yes, my SS20 is showing many
Yes, my SS20 is showing many of the same personality disorder symptoms as BM does - I'm hopeful that it's just because they are so enmeshed.
Shortly after Meth Mouth got
Shortly after Meth Mouth got arrested a second time and was going through her second divorce she tried playing the card to DH that "he still looked at her with lust and still wanted to hook up with her" Now I admit I'm sure most of the delusion stemmed from all the meth she was smoking, but I do believe a small part of her still functioning brain did believe that DH still wanted her.
Oh, the crap BM pulled to try
Oh, the crap BM pulled to try to get DH back. Never mind that she cheated on him multiple times and kicked him out more than once. She didn't really want HIM, she just wanted to use him, but it sure did piss her off that he wouldn't go back to her one.more.time. How dare he be happy.
Ha..Dh's own attorney told
him back in the day during custody battle number 2...that she thought Beaver wanted DH back based on her obsession with fighting with him. Not DH per se...just his money and the life that she thought she was entitled to. Dh just looked at his attorney and said..I know...and there is no way I would take that stink hole back. His filter is non existant....
I like you and your DH!
I like you and your DH! Thanks for blogging.
" DH per se...just his money
" DH per se...just his money and the life that she thought she was entitled to. "
Yes, recognise that! NPD BM tried that with my DH about 3 mths after we started dating. Asked him to go on holiday with her and the SDs. As if!
I found your account of the Beaver very entertaining, I have to say.
Jaysus I wish DH would stand
Jaysus I wish DH would stand up to BM like that. She doesn't want him back but he backs down every.single.time they talk no matter how much he doesn't want to do what she wants her/SDs to do.
When we were dating BM told
When we were dating BM told DH he could sleep on her couch and they can do "other stuff". My DH can be dense, gullible, and naive....he totally did not see she was beating around the bush about them sleeping together. But when she realized he didn't want her back he went from being a wonderful father to an abusive monster. Yet, she would still call and ask him to help her even though she just called DHS with a false abuse claim against him.