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SD returned today....and here are the updates

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 04/28/2023 - 12:08pm

SD returns to our house today for the week.  

Updates:  SD let DH know of Beaver's intent to take vacation.  Now under the parenting plan, Beaver INSISTED that they have a clause in there that they have to email the vacation requests 30 days in advance on OFW.  Now DH has already sent the vacation times he wants in OFW..Beaver hasn't read them since and I quote from SD..."Mom says she won't read another mesage from you"  Ok...whatever there Beaver

SD also let DH know that she will be quiting her job before she goes on vacation with Beaver. That means SD will be quiting her job in about 5 weeks or so.  SD says after vacations she will look for a job that she can walk to from our house or from school.  Why is she quiting...well the excuses range from

1. The management changed and I don't like it.

2.  They now have new procedures and they are't like I'm used ot.

3.  I keep getting sick from the pool.

I told DH...I would be my paycheck that this has nothing to do with any of that..but it has to do with Beaver is pitching a fit over having to take SD to work since DH told SD on Beaver's weeks she needs to get SD to work.   DH is done playing uber for either one of them. 

I haven't seen the piercing yet..and DH didn't ask this morning when he picked up SD.

Finally, as we saw from the last episode..Beaver was trying to send DH the money she owes him through zelle.  She sent 100 bucks and then no more. DH sent another message saying..the $100 was deposited...you still owe $188.  Her repsonse was yes..thank you.

DH was like..does she think this is a layaway plan or that I'm a bank...wth....pay the freaking money.  She has had 45 days to save or whatever to pay for the $288 that she owes.  Meanwhile both SD and Beaver went and got their nails done.

DH did ask me yesterday...when SD sent him a text message if I wanted to hear or not...so that is progress.

Comments

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 04/28/2023 - 1:32pm

all the time.  SMH and go "I got nothing"...or "I don't know what to tell you"..or "Good lord she is as dumb as a post"  She in this case could either be Beaver or SD or both.

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Fri, 04/28/2023 - 12:49pm

Seems like if Beaver can afford a vacay, she can afford the $188 she owes.  Our late BM had and SD61 still has a casual relationship toward what they owe.  Every single month, DH has to remind SD to pay us her portion of the rent and every single month she brings the wrong amount and every single month she has an attitude, all symbolized by her comment about me, "All she cares about is the money!".  True and it's cuz I dont ask about her, like "disengagement".  Duh.

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 04/28/2023 - 1:29pm

Beaver is 46 years old and her parents are still paying for her vacations.  They go to the same place every single time and this year..SD was is not please since they rented a place NOT on the beach.  Its not on the beach this year because Beaver's dad aka. Mr. Beaver Sr. can't do stairs anymore so they had to get a place with an elevator.  Beaver's mom..aka Beaver Sr. isn't going since she has dementia or alzheimers.  One of Beaver's brothers. aka. the welfare twins...will stay home with Beaver Sr.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 04/28/2023 - 5:51pm

jobs, etc..?

Unknw

Hopefully DH learned to not provide any thing to BM beyond the CS he pays or otherwise stipulated in the CO.  If he does not cover her share, he does not need to collect from her. He can point out to her and the spawn how much he pays in CS and that BM needs to cover extracuriculars, transport, etc... on her time since DH pays her to do those things with his CS.

Not .... one..... CENT more than CS or what is otherwise COd!!!

Our CO required the SpermClan to notify us a minimum of 60 days in advance of any visitation they intended to take per the visitaiton schedule (5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring).  They never did. So, we leveraged that stipulation in the CO to our advantage. We planned and took vacations as we wished during the summer/winter/spring.  If they bitched, we highlighted the "60 days prior" notification sentence and told them to kiss our ass. Figuratively of course.

Usually we did not make a big deal out of it as there were several periods of a year+ that they took no visiation.  But, when we wanted to do something (international trips, vacaitons, etc... we just did it then told them when they could have SS.  Usually this was around the summer. Winter and spring visitaitons were more structured by SS's school schedule.  Even years winter visitation was from the day school was out until 12/26. Usually that was no more than a few days.  Odd years it was 12/26 until the day before school restarted. That usually was no more than about a week.  Spring visistaiton coincided with Spring Break.

Never once did htey give us 60+ days notice in writing. Though it was clearly required by the CO.

If BM is not following the rules in the CO, see how you can leverage that to your advantage.

Diablo

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Mon, 05/01/2023 - 7:08am

when it comes to Beaver's house.  DH falters when it comes to things like getting SD to school or work, etc.  Dh is also very very good about following the court order.  Saved his @ss in the past..since Beaver wasn't able to come up with anything to hold him in contempt.  

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

Submitted by 1st3rd5thWEInHell on Sat, 04/29/2023 - 8:20pm

Sounds like she quit so she can make Beavers life easier. I hope she doesnt end up getting a job at walking distance because that would mean she would be at your house every day including on Beavers' week since she has a history of not reading texts and sleeping through her childrens call

I am about to be in a similar predicament. SS17 got a fast food job after dropping out of high school in February. The pick up location for visitation is 48min away one way (without traffic) and BM expected us to pick up SS15 at 6pm and then turn around and drive back at 10pm to pick up SS17....My husband showed her the court order that stated if the parent cannot provide the children at 6pm then they are responsible to drive to the other parents home. Magically, SS17s shifts end on time now!

I am weary of summer and extended holidays because that might mean driving him to and from home to his job which is located near their home/pick up location - close to an hour away....I will make sure to be very busy with work this summer because I can already sense there will be requests for me to be a chauffeur

We can only hope they lose their jobs or get to driving or use a scooter 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 04/30/2023 - 9:23pm

That forces a a natural consequence for dropping out, and gets him off of CS early so he is no longer a finacial burden on the NCP household.  If the CP contintues to suffer the drop out's presence, the CP can fund that presence and deal with it.

The NCP, can inform the Skid that since they are adult enough to quit HS, they are adult enough to navigate life and finish growing up on their own dime and their own time.

EMANCIPATE.... NOW!

I would. Particularly if I was the NCP writing CS checks to my X every month.  Based on parenting time, the CP owns far more of balance of failed parenting than the NCP tends to. So, force BM to own that and both BM and SD to live the consequences.

I would. Whether I was tne NCP or the NCSP. Or even the CP or CSP for that matter.

Full disclosure, our kid (My SS) made it to HS graduation.. though it was touch and go the last semester of HS.  After he graduated then turned 18, he had a choice.  Go to school, get a job, or part time of both.  He chose neither. So we lit the burning platform to get him to launch and he became our live in 24/7 houseboy/chore bitch. We worked that kid's ass off.  After cleaning, washing, folding, scrubbing, polishing, sweeping, moping, dusting, edging, paiting, slicing, dicing, chopping, cutting, serving, washing, drying, putting away etc... And doing it 8hrs a day every day until he launched. After 4mos he enlisted in the USAF on the delayed entry program. After he swore in for delayed entry we worked his ass off for another 4mos until we dropped him off at MEPS to report for BMT.  nearly 3 weeks ago he celebrated  his 12 service anniversary in the USAF. He is doing great and intends to serve at least 20 years earning his retirement. 

So, hold the Skid accountable, pull the support, and she can figure the rest of her growing up on her own.

IMHO of course.

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Mon, 05/01/2023 - 7:11am

to take SD anywhere.  He has FINALLY realized that he forced his kids on me as if I was their parent.  Marriage counseling has sure helped make him realilze that by doing that he created the life of me running around like a chicken with its head cut off....and made me resentfull as all get out.  

DH agrees that SD is quitting because of Beaver.  Sad really.....