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Less Time with Dad

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Wed, 03/31/2021 - 9:01am

This is probably just a vent but feel free to give your opinion or advice.

Yesterday I posted about SS telling DH he wanted to cut his time in half for Summer visit (they are long distance schedule). We knew it wasn't his idea but DH decided to agree to it and encourage his independence. 

Last night SD tells us BM told her "why don't you tell dad you want to stay less too so you can have more time with your friends". 

SD said she initially told her mom okay then changed her mind. (She's 12). 

This is so wrong, especially since it wasn't the kids idea. 

Struggling with separating anger toward BM and SS

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Mon, 12/21/2020 - 1:02pm

You all have been a plethora of knowledge and I appreciate your words.

I can handle brutal honesty, so I'm asking for a little help for DH and myself.

How do you separate your anger/frustration caused by BM from your SK when they have been brain washed and parrot such awful things as if fact. 

Logically we know its not the kids fault, but emotionally when something is said so nonchalant and is so vile It is hard to stomach taking the high road, ignoring and not having diarrhea of the mouth at all the ills of the BM.

Two missed visitations - thoughts

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Thu, 10/15/2020 - 12:20pm

I'll try to be brief and include a lot of pertinent information.

This is about a coworker/friend's situation. I've been sharing what I've learned here and my own experience but we've moved into new territory.

Coworker's husband has full custody of children. Mother walked out years ago and was not in communication at all until co worker entered to picture.

Mother has visitation only no custody.

Mother's own family testified against her in court for full custody to be given to dad.

A thank you and a follow up question.

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Mon, 09/14/2020 - 10:09am

My DH has two adult SKs. Both PAS to an extent. They both were MIA for 5 years or so, but the eldest in the last couple years has made great strides and they've reconnected. The other not so much. There have beent two grandchildren born to the 2nd Adult SK and while my DH reached out to both adult SKs at the same time,(a couple weeks before 1st grand kid) only the eldest ever responded and as mentioned a new more adult respectful relationship has emerged. 

What to get SS

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Fri, 08/14/2020 - 1:04pm

SS has a birthday next month - 16. 

Now I'm unsure if for boys 16 is as big a deal as for girls, but I feel like probably so.

What do you get a child that has everything? Already got a vehicle, has all the games, has plenty of cash (also I hate giving cash seems thoughtless but I know as a kid we all liked it). 

My SS is not "into" anything. Like seriously ....other than Youtube and his games (which he has all of including newest this Summer). 

Random question - EX W and same last name

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Wed, 08/05/2020 - 12:26pm

This is super random and doesn't bother me much, but someone else's post got me thinking.

DH has two ex wives with children.

The 1st never to this day got remarried. The kids have both been married and divorced themselves so late 20's early 30's age wise kids.Their mom has never changed her name.

2nd ex remarreid and took new guy's name.

Would you offer to pay to have 1st ex change her last name? LOL random I know...but why wouldn't she have at this point? I think it's like $100 bucks. 

The Playbook

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Mon, 06/29/2020 - 12:43pm

I think it's safe to say a lot of us have seen the same situations played out by some of these HCBMs so many times that "playbook" is an accurate description of the shenanigans.

I'm really frustrated with how much financial havoc these people can cause.

Even with a CO and many DHs paying the CS on time without fail, the premiums for insurance, the out of pocket %'s it is never enough.

A nice story for once.

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Fri, 06/26/2020 - 8:13am

I normally come here to vent and/or ask advice on our PAS in progress SKs (mostly SS). 

Last night however, I think just maybe I saw his guard come down and a little kid come out. We were driving after dinner to pick up some dessert. DH and I were up front and SKs in the back. We were all being silly singing some dumb song I don't even remember which one. 

SS from the back seat said something that I couldn't quite hear nor could DH so he asked him what he said...and the kid sheepishly said, "THIS family is fun". 

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