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Another rant about the inlaws

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Fri, 02/28/2020 - 11:38am

All of this constant crap with the inlaws is really stressing me out and causing a great deal of anger, so I want to get it all of my chest. 

DH is going back and forth between being pissed and admitting their all a**holes and trying to pretend everything is fine and trying to downplay it and make excuses. He also wants to place most of the blame for FIL and SILs behavior on MIL alone. I dont buy that. They're all adults and responsible for their behavior.

Poor little Cinderella

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Thu, 02/27/2020 - 7:48am

DH and I took a parenting class a couple years ago where it was suggested to have kids do daily chores (about 10 min worth)  to help them feel like they are part of the household and feel like they are contributing, or something along those lines. So we've done that for a couple years now.

Mostly OT - but need advice quick!

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Mon, 02/24/2020 - 8:21pm

This is only semi step related but since I've gotten so much good advice on here regarding toxic family members I'm putting it out there anyway.

Short background: MIL has appeared to be having meltdowns that DH doesnt see her as much anymore, sending FIL and SIL to try different ways to provoke a reaction, including having them go suck up to BM when none of them had contact with her before, etc.

FIL asked DH a couple days ago if DH wanted to bring SD down with him. No mention of the other kids. MIL sent DH this text today:

Is there a point to doing the right thing?

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Thu, 02/20/2020 - 2:06pm

Seeing DHs awful family, SD and BM, reading all the stories on here, along with observing some of the big names in our culture makes me wonder. Is there a point to doing good, doing the "right thing" etc? Other than not feeling bad about yourself? I mean, you see all these skids and BMs treating people like crap and the thing that gets me is it WORKS. A lot of the are just as well off, or better off, than the people trying to be kind.

If anyone older and wiser wants to chime in, I'd be interested to hear your perspectives.

Today's thought

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Wed, 02/19/2020 - 11:02am

About BM:

How sad of a life it must be to be so desperate that you can never let go of anyone who has given you a scrap of attention at any point. 

Or at least I'm trying to look at it this way instead of feeling the internal rage that this b*tch will never just go away and live her own life and instead needs to be involved in Every. Aspect. of everyone's lives. 

Presents

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Mon, 12/30/2019 - 9:45am

SD has 13 gifts sitting here to be opened when she gets back. She already opened I believe 8 from family members on our side before she went to BMs. She usually gets another 20 - 25 presents at her moms.

What I'm asking is - Is this enough gifts to make up for her parents not living together or should we buy her more?

Asking for a MIL.

Today's petty annoyances

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Sat, 12/21/2019 - 8:29pm

Family xmas #1 today. My side of the family. 

- watching SD run around begging everyone for attention. Interrupting anyone she sees talking with her "I did this! Look at me! Me! Me! Me!"

- as soon as we walk in the door, over the top reactions from both of my grandparents. Theres six of us, 4 kids - 2 of which are little little kids, but both grandparents look at us and right away overcompensate and single out SD with "oh SD is here!!! Were so glad you could be here SD!!!"

DH runs into BMs fiance

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Submitted by Jcksjj on Thu, 12/12/2019 - 9:04am

So BM had a history of triangulating men to fight over her and also of making up stories of "abuse." I've actually witnessed her make up a story about DH being "physically intimidating" that I know didnt happen, because I was actually at his house when she claims it did. Another abuse claim that she had told DH about she later admitted wasnt true, and that she had actually slapped her ex first because fighting physically was "kind of fun." Also made up lies about her family, mostly her dad.

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