You are here

JRI's Blog

The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Hellish Vacation

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sat, 06/13/2020 - 1:17pm

The recent blogs about hellish vacations have reminded me of mine.  Back on the '70s, i naively thought it would be a good idea to plan a vacation for all 7 of us.  I booked a big cabin at a nearby lake.  DH's friend generously offered to lend his outboard motor boat.

We packed our van & took off.  I can't remember what the 3 boys were doing in back (these were pre-carseat days) but whatever it was, DH was incensed.  He yelled at them half the way there.

Tags:

Emotional blackmail 101

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Tue, 06/09/2020 - 4:02pm

I think my SD is the undisputed queen of the universe when it comes to emotional blackmail but she might be missing a few nuggets.  Let me know if you have any more.

The bank messed up my account again, Dad.

The doctor says stress is bad for me, Dad.

Everybody hates me, Dad.

It seems like I can't get a break, Dad.

I promise I'll pay you back, Dad.

The electric company is going to turn off my electric, Dad.

My depression is so bad, Dad.

 

 

The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Summertime

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Mon, 06/01/2020 - 3:29pm

I'm the veteran BM & SM who remembers steplife with 5 kids as I read the blogs & forums.  We came out on the other side. but I remember those hellacious summers.

I would start to get more depressed every spring as it got closer to school closing.  The SK would be here almost all summer long.  They would go back on Tuesday evening (karate class) & come back Thursday night (after karate class). Our house is not big & at that point we hadn't added the space we did once tbey moved in full-time.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Mini-wife Fate

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Thu, 05/14/2020 - 7:45pm

I'm the veteran BM & SM of 5 reliving my steplife as I read the posts.  Many of you have mini-wives, i have one, too.  Only difference is mine is 58 years old.  This is a cautionary tale about how that dynamic can end up.

DH & SD were always close.  She was his first, looked like him & is his only daughter.  They bonded more closely when BM left.

Tags:

The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Hard Financial Decisions in Hard Times

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sat, 05/02/2020 - 1:04pm

I'm the 75-year old BM & SM of 5 who reads the blogs & forums & flashes back.  I've been thinking about the young step-parents out there.

This is such a rough financial time for many people.  You might be making difficult decisions: should I pay this or that first? What happens if I don't pay this at all? Can i substitute this for that? What will (somebody) think if i do this? Will this have a lasting effect?  You'll be making hundreds of these decisions, large & small.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel: What Worked

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sat, 04/25/2020 - 12:02am

I'm the 75-year old BM & SM of 5 who suffers flashbacks as I read the blogs & forums.  We made it to the end of the tunnel & I wanted to share what worked as we coped with the day-to-day chaos.

1)  Counseling, the best money I ever spent.  Takeaways: assertiveness, engagement & more one-on-one time with DH. This is contrary to the often-recommended disengagement but in those days, I needed to step up to my family role.  As DH & I spent more time together, we became "deeper than dirt" as we shared our kids' issues.

Tags:

Pages