SD issues
My SD is 11 and we do not have a good relationship at all. I tried so hard for so long and she constantly ignored me and disrespected me that I'm to the point now where I'm done trying for now. I feel bad but it is taking an emotional toll on me mentally that I need a break.
It is awkward when it is just her and I at home. She doesn't speak to me and If she does it's very minimal. she speaks like a baby 80% of the time which drives me nuts.
I am newly pregnant as well and I have a feeling we are going to have major issues with her when baby comes this fall.
I just wondered if anyone else feels frustrated at home like I do.
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Oh I know exactly how you
Oh I know exactly how you feel!! I have a FSD that is 13. Her dad and I have been together over 2 years. At first everything was OK between us, but since things have gotten serious and we are getting married she hardly ever speaks. She is stuck to her daddy's butt the whole time she is here. She talks baby talk, which makes me want to puke!! She is disrespectful to me. It is just like a big elephant in the house when she is there. It is tense and I hate it. We are all suppose to sit down and have a heart to heart this weekend. I'm sure she will just sit there and not say a word!! I go to my room most of the time when she is there.
That's how it is for me
That's how it is for me exactly! But we have her all the time bc her mother is deceased. But my husband says he feels uncomfortable bc there is so much tension between her and I and that some point we are going to have to talk. But the thing is, we have had so many family talks I can't even count anymore and they do nothing. She says all the right things to make it better then never changes. And the whole time we are talking to her she has this blank stare on her face. I've told her that you would think she would be trying hard with me since she doesn't have a mother anymore and she claims she wants a relationship with me but you would never know by her silence and actions.
I also had a step-mother at
I also had a step-mother at age 8 because my mother passed away. So let me ask you some questions, how long have you and her father been together? How long has it been since her mother died? Did she have time to grieve for her mother before you came into the picture. My SM thought that just because I no longer had a mother that I should just accept her as my mother. She came on too strong to fast. I'm not saying you are doing this, just telling you my side from the other side. Do you think maybe she needs to see a counselor? It was hard for me to accept my SM in the beginning, it took a couple of years. From looking at it from the daughters side, I say give her some time, don't push her, let her come around in her own time. Since you are the only mother she has, just be there for her and do what you can and what you feel comfortable with. From the SM side, I say hang in there. I have discovered that SD's are a hand full and make you want to pull your hair out!!
Well her mother and my hubby
Well her mother and my hubby weren't together whn she passed. They were never married and broke up with she was 2. So she never really knew them together. Her mother passed away 3 years ago. I do not discipline bc she doesn't listen anyways. We do go to family counseling. She says she thinks we are improving but it doesn't feel like it.
Oh we've been together 2
Oh we've been together 2 years.
It's hard I know. Like I said
It's hard I know. Like I said it took me several years to have a good relationship with my SM. I was mean to her and didn't talk, stayed in my room all the time. I don't know how much of that was me being a normal pre-teen girl or the dealing with losing my mother and having a new person in my life or just being a brat. It's good you guys are going to counseling. I know you are worried that things will get worse when the baby gets here, I would think the same thing. But maybe try to include her as much as possible in the whole birthing process so she won't feel threatened or left out. Girls just seem to be so territorial and possessive. I don't have any girls and I know now why. I would have killed them!!
Boys are much easier, at least to me anyway. Not near as much drama!!
Yea you are probably right.
Yea you are probably right. I am probably more worried than I should be but I don't have kids of my own so I have a hard time relating. I do have a sm tho and remember how unaccepting I was of her for a Long time but now I love her and am thankful for her. I'm hoping that the baby is a distraction for me that I don't notice how much she ignores me.
My SD13 and I didn't get
My SD13 and I didn't get along real well til the twins were born. She really wanted to help and was excited to be a big sister (even though she wanted brothers, not more sisters) and we bonded over that. Best of luck to you