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lastchance's Blog

What would you do?????

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I had my husband cremated. It was my decision, but his parent's paid for it. There was no way I could have ever afforded ANY kind of anything. I have his ashes still. The plan was that someday, I would spread them up in the mountains at our favorite camping spot. I'm not sure when 'someday' will be. Definitely not before the baby is born. Probably when I can NOT have a panic attack at the thought of loosing one more piece of him. Who knows when that will be...

sitting home alone

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Sitting at DH's parent's house alone. I have nothing to do and nowhere to be. It makes me lonely and sad. It makes me miss my husband even more. So so so very much Sad I could go to the store or something, but it's just a different location for the same feeling of emptiness. Nothing feels right.

When it rains it pours...

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As if it wasn't bad enough that my husband died 24 days ago....

His father, has broken into our house at least twice. There may have been more times, but I've only caught it twice. I can't call the police, because there are no witnesses and they wouldn't be able to do anything anyways because of that fact. He admitted to the first time, but he wouldn't own up to it any subsequent time. He is pathological and scary. I hate this man...

I am 25 and I am a widow.

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My husband killed himself on 9.23.2010. He drank for the first time in a very long time and he was never the same person when he drank. He didn't like himself and he didn't like how is drinking affected his family. He killed himself and he took my life with him.

He left a note. Most of it was drunken ramblings. The things that did make sense, were his failures...

Can you think of a way DH could talk to SD5 WITHOUT having to talk to BM at all?

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So, if any of you have read my past blog(s), I've stepped out as the "middle man" between DH and BM because I hate that bitch, I called her a whore, and I really just didn't want to do it anymore. Because of this, DH hasn't spoken to SD5 since June (because of course, BM NEVER EVER calls us for SD to speak to DH).

He was telling me last night that he really misses SD and would like to talk to her, but he just can't make himself do it because he absolutely does not want to speak to BM.

B-day present for SD soon to be 6....suggestions?

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SD5 will be 6 in November. I like to plan and budget things in advance, so I'm thinking with my next paycheck I will get her her present.

Any suggestions?

This kid loves Barbies, Littlest Pet Shop, and taking pictures. I would love to get her something along the lines of a camera but I'm not really sure of what there is out there that is age appropriate for a 6 year old. I'm also steering clear of the Barbie/Littlest Pet Shop stuff, because at the very least I would like it to be 1)Educational AND/OR 2)annoy the crap out of BM.

OT-How to deal with FIL and DH? FIL is classic Anti-Social Personality....

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So I hate my husbands biological father. My MIL divorced him when my DH was 3 or 4 because he was abusive, a drug addict, and serially unfaithful. He even gave my MIL an STD! From then on until my DH was about 17, his dad was in and out of prison because of drugs and for abusing women. I think he spent two years in prison once because of Felony Assault-DV.

Any of you heard of research that concretely links eating sugar/candy in pregnancy to kids with ADHD????

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My MIL has been driving me crazy. Every time she sees me eating something sugary, or drinking a pop (neither of which I do very often anymore...they just don't sound good very often) she goes on and on about how bad the sugar is for the baby. About how, if I'm really worried that the baby is going to have ADHD like it's dad, that I have to stop eating sugar/candy and avoid everything with high fructose corn syrup. That the sugar/candy I'm eating are somehow going to magically give my kid ADHD.

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