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Leigh's Blog

SD14 came back from bm covered in flea bites

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Not sure what, if anything, can be done. This is not the first time this has happened. BM takes in feral cats. SD is sleeping on the floor of their dilapidated one bedroom trailer when she visits there. They also do not have a functioning refrigerator. And SD defends BM wholeheartedly, nothing is EVER BM's fault.*sigh*

DH asked tonight

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Why I don't leave him if I'm so miserable.
1. I'm too scared.
2. Financially I don't know how we'd manage.
3. I love my dear, precious BSs more than life itself, and would be miserable for them. Divorce and raising them myself, or potentially raising them with a SF would be devastating. They love their dad, and he is a very good father. I know from experience that it is just about impossible to love someone else's children like they're your own if I were to find someone else.

Dredding Monday more because of work or SD coming home?

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I sure have enjoyed the last few days while SD is at BMs! Pleasant conversations, playing, and daily routines with BSs. No hostility, arguing, stress, fighting, manipulative behavior... aaaahhhh, heaven. Not looking forward to going back to work OR SD coming back. And this week at BM's will do nothing for her attitude. Since BM is drunk in her room the whole time, SD has been playing violent video games, playing with the feral cats that hang around their trailer, with no structure, responsibilities, etc.

SD13 LOVES the violent video games that she gets to play at BM's.

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SD13 LOVES the violent video games that she gets to play at BM's. Funny, they can't afford a phone, cable, a bed or Christmas presents, but SF can buy all the latest Call of Duty/HALO/World of Warcraft trash. Anyone who doesn't believe that those types of games wear off on kid's behavior needs to witness my SD after a week at her BM's. She pokes me, BS7 and BS2 in the arm or back constantly and then laughs. The other day she jabbed me with a little stick and loudly snickered, "Shanked!". She swings her fist and lands it about an inch in front of my (and little brothers') faces.

Dreading SD coming home...

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SD13 has strep throat, so we have to bring her home a day early from her mother's to take her to the doctor. She is already pitching a fit. We would love to let her mother take her to the doctor, but she would never get off her couch to do it. So we're going to be the bad guys. I would not mind letting her suffer if that's what she wanted for an extra day, but my parents are coming from out of town for the holidays, and I want her to be out of the contagious stage. I'm sure I'm in for tears and accusations about how we just don't want her to see her mom.

Grrrrrr!!!!

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My kids, SD13, BS7, and BS2, receive quite a bit of cash from my DH's family. Every holiday they get $5-$10. And I mean every holiday. Halloween, thanksgiving, 4th of July, St. Patrick's Day, etc. I make the kids put it in the bank in their savings accounts for college. We pay for anything they need or do, and they get allowance for spending. Anyway, I was going to the bank, planning on depositing money, and asked SD for hers. She said she's just been leaving the money on the counter (very cluttered).

Why does it bother me so much?

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That when SD13 is asked about her family, she claims to have 4 brothers and 1 sister. Two of the siblings are her SF's kids, her SB15 and SS9. Her SB she sees fairly regularly when she visits BM-maybe once or twice a month, but her SS (both of them have different BMs-he has 3 kids, 3 moms)has an intellectual disability, was never legitimized so SF never has never felt the need to be a part of her life, he almost went to jail for not paying CS, SD13 has only met her 2x, and SS9 has lived in TX (we live in GA) for over a year, and SF just found out about it.

Is it a bad idea

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for us to try to get full official custody of SD when she would really rather be at BM's? SD lives with us, and has 3 out of the last 4 years. As I wrote recently, we're seriously considering attempting a custody battle to establish full legal and physical custody. BM is a complete waste of space, an alcoholic, neglectful, and suffers from severe depression and anorexia, but she does love SD. SD is 11, and in GA she can choose at 14.

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