You are here

Weekend Away

Lemon65's picture

SO and I took the Skid to visit his parents this weekend. It was a somewhat enjoyable trip and would've been more enjoyable if I had been feeling up to it. SD has really matured over the years, but still has co-dependency issues. She is 11 and cannot be in a room alone. If you get up and leave, she will either follow or go where someone else is. We went to a museum that is mainly geared towards children and one of us always had to be with her. This means that four adults, two of which are elderly, were having to climb things, fit in tight spaces, go down slides, etc. She would not do any of the activities alone. Needless to say, we were all hurting afterwards, except for SD of course.

On the way home, SD was sitting in the back reading a book and SO and I were talking amongst ourselves. We haven't had a date night or planned anything as a couple for a while and it has been bothering me, so I started brainstorming places we could go for a weekend. He wasn't showing any interest and then started telling SD about an activity that he thinks the three of us should do together. This hurt my feelings because I could really use some quality time, just the two of us. He is always working or thinking about work and the only time he isn't is when SD is around. I just want one weekend that is all about us.

Later, after we dropped SD off, I tried to explain to him why this bothered me and his response was that he doesn't want SD to feel excluded and it would be comparable to my friends making plans in front of me that exclude me. I think that that is a ridiculous comparison because SD is not a friend, SHE is his daughter and WE are a couple. We are going to do things as a couple that exclude her and that is okay. We shouldn't have to hide it from her. When we eventually get married and plan our honeymoon, will I not be allowed to talk about it in front of her?

I really just want some quality time with him and to feel important. Like I said, the only time he is not working or worried about his work is when SD is around. And lately, the only time he wants to go out to eat, see a movie, etc. is when she comes over. How do I make him see that he is not prioritizing our relationship?