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Lilynadrienne's picture

Submitted by Lilynadrienne on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 1:39am

So glad I found a place to vent!! I can't stand my almost 18 good for nothing step daughter! She doesnt live with us for now but she barely graduated high school n my husband always feels bad cuz her mother died n gives in to her when she says he is a bad dad. He didn't really raise her because he separated from her Mom when she was a year old n so they are constantly at each others throat! She is lazy does horrible in school bad mouths everyone n Im sorry but she is not academically challenged she is stupid! I have 3 kids n one on the way ... 2 are from my previous marriage one with him n another on the way also his. However my step daughter was an only child for 16 years n she decided to move out because she couldn't stand my husband yet she still gets invited to family vacations n gets material things for doing nothing and I get so frustrated! My biological children are honor students who act nothing like her I am hoping n praying she goes away to the military thanks for hearing me out I needed to vent since nobody else seems to understand

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SoTired1's picture

Submitted by SoTired1 on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 6:19am

I feel sad for your SD that she lost her BM at such a young age. However, it seems she's either using it as a clutch to behave as you've described or perhaps she's in need of therapy to help sort through her feelings of her BM's death. Congrats to you on your preggers and it seems we as parents always see the good in our children (because our children could do no wrong; they're always the 'best'). I'm hoping you can be a little more empathetic to SD. It may be a little harder for you now that you're hormonally fueled right now due to your current condition, but please ask yourself (if the shoe were reversed) how would you feel if your children BD died; how would you reach out to help them through such a life altering (mournful) experience? Death is never easy to accept & from the outside looking in [from what you've described], your SD appears to be in need of a therapist. Look at the bright side (not to be cruel, but at least you don't have a BM to add to the equation). Remember, it could always be worst. Best wishes to you.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 6:50am

How long ago did her mom die? Why didn't her dad help raise her? Did he pay CS? How do you know your 2 year old is an honor student? (I think your youngest is 2 since you said your SD was a only child for 16 years) You have no way of knowing how your kids will act in the future. It's not unheard of for great kids to morph into awful teens. Some wild kids turn out to be mello teens. Of course your husband wants to include his daughter in family events, she's part of the family.

SoTired1's picture

Submitted by SoTired1 on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 2:59pm

She has 2 children from a prior marriage & those are the honor students she referenced. I agree with you about teenagers [they can be a handful & their outcome is always unpredictable].

Lilynadrienne's picture

Submitted by Lilynadrienne on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 8:57am

Thanks for ur comments not my 2 yr old my 12 yr old is an honor student she wasn't raised by either parent long story short we lived in border town her mother lived in Mexico but worked here my husband has always paid CS when I met him she was 13 n mother had cancer. Before me my husband had a gf mother didn't like so made she n my hubbies relationship a mess sd was living with paternal aunt she still is. He says in order to make his life peaceful n so he would b able to see child he gave mother her way by not having his daughter around other women. I agree Im lucky not to have bm to deal with n I do feel she uses the death as that clutch my bds a 12 n 6 yr old r by no means perfect but they do not disrespect me n they recognize my husband as an authoritative figure while all she does is put him down to get her way since I assume she knows it makes him feel guilty. I have been in the middle of heated arguments between them n it bothers me that my children have to witness that their bd is in another state n he has no contact with my bds my husband has helped me with them since I met him. I've tried to b there for my sd in the same way but it's difficult with the attitude she carries but I will heed ur advice n maybe start counting my blessings instead of complaining