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Feeling powerless & out of control

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Submitted by Lola383 on Wed, 04/08/2015 - 2:42pm

I'm having a mini meltdown. I just need to vent to write down my feelings whether they are right or wrong. I'm due for my first baby in 8 weeks. MIL has put such strain on my new marriage - and quite honestly ever since DH and I first got serious - that DH is now "every day feeling upset" He told me last night he feels like I alienate myself from his family and that he has to seperate time with his family with time with me. He couldn't elaborate on that for me though. I attend every single family function he has. I think he is really getting at his Mother.

Living as 2nd - FDH in denial

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Submitted by Lola383 on Wed, 05/07/2014 - 1:00pm

I'm panicking for sure. FDH and I marry in 6 weeks - and perhaps I'm freaking out because we are marrying in 6 weeks..but I'm just so breaking inside that I am always 2nd priority to FSS12. It has always been this way- we have fought over this before in the past. FSS12 is a very active kid. His activities are more frequent at this time of year with baseball AND boy scouts so perhaps I always feel it more at this time. But FDH will not forgo a single event of FSS12's to be with me. He thinks that I should want to go to the games and that is us spending time together.

Kids & Responsibility

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Submitted by Lola383 on Tue, 05/06/2014 - 3:11pm

Looking for some insight here. At what age do you start ensuring your kid is held accountable? At what age do you let them start to experience the circumstances of NOT being accountable for their own activities? I'm talking extra curricular activities..When is it reasonable for the parent to start ensuring the kid remembers his own stuff? Especially when going back & forth between 2 houses 50/50.

Name Battle - Cont.

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Submitted by Lola383 on Tue, 03/11/2014 - 8:41am

FDH and I are not speaking to eachother; he's set that I'm ruining our wedding and marriage experience by not taking his name at all; and I can't get past how he is so disrespectful and can disregard my feelings so much to not see how this is affecting me.

FDH's SD19 (Ex SD?) taking his name

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Submitted by Lola383 on Mon, 03/10/2014 - 7:41am

I think I just need to vent - I don't think too many people can understand how I feel about this. It took me a good amount of time to come to terms with the reality that I'm going to be the second wife. The 2nd person to go by FDH's last as his ex still goes by Mrs "FDH". OK, I got over that hurdle. I didn't quite know what I wanted to do with my last name; FDH is very traditional and wants me to full on take his name.

Interesting Discovery Today

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Submitted by Lola383 on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 12:43pm

Hey All!! BF and I have agreed that we're going to talk tonight and come to a resolution. So In prep for this, I just did some google searches on how a "step"family should work, if the couple's relationship comes first or if the kids come first. I have to say it's about split down the middle..but as I read people's responses about how the kids come first in a step family because "they were there first"..I decided to look up some statistics and found that 50% of 1st marriages fail, 67% of 2nd marriages fail and 73% of 3rd marriages fail.

HAM & BEAN Dinner Update

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Submitted by Lola383 on Mon, 03/04/2013 - 10:53am

BF and I had a chat about my birthday and his son's ham & bean dinner. Basically my BF was upset with ME because i didn't initially suggest to change my birthday celebration! My 30thh!!!! BIRthday celebration. He thought my priorities were off because I should have wanted to go to his kid's HAM & BEAN dinner instead of my OWN BIRTHDAY PARTY!!

DiD I expect anything less? BF's son11 trumps my 30th bday

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Submitted by Lola383 on Fri, 03/01/2013 - 6:54am

Last night was BF's son11's pinewood derby at cubscouts. his mom and his sister went. At the derby the cubscout leaders handed out the schedule for the rest of the year and the scshedule showed that on the day of my 30th birthday celebreation is the annual "ham & bean" fundraiser dinner. I guess its their last fundraiser and its a great time and BF's son11 really enjoys it. I said, "oh, thats the night my parents are putting on my birthday celebration". BF's mom asked why i couldn't change it and perhaps I could have it after work on Friday or the next Sunday afternoon.