"Do not become possessive. The purpose of a relationship is to complement each other, grow together, and achieve your common goals as a couple. At the same time, you must each maintain your individual identity as a human being."

An old class mate of mine posted this on facebook a couple of days ago and it got me thinking. Not so much the possessive or identity parts, but the second part, the part about a common goal as a couple.
What are your common goals as a couple with your SO? How is that effected by your step kids?

It really made me reflect and with all the problems SS14 is having, I often feel like my relationship is on hold, the pause button has been pressed while he gets the help and attention he needs. While I understand he has issues, I also see that his issues will take years to sort out. Meanwhile, I don’t want the goals in my relationship to be on hold for him. I guess what also triggered this was Easter yesterday, my FDH’s cousin started assuming certain things about our relationship that I realized were on hold because of SS. In some ways she had every right to assume because it was based on what to expect in a relationship at this point, things like where we live and having a child of our own. Even mil said something to me along the lines that she and I will be going on a long nice vacation before FDH and I get to. I don’t want that, I want to move forward in my relationship. I’m tired of SS calling all the shots.