You are here

mommawowa's Blog

must repeat: I'm not his mom. I'm not his mom. I'm not his mom.

mommawowa's picture

Submitted by mommawowa on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 4:18pm

Maybe it's because I'm a teacher. Maybe it's because I'm jealous. Or maybe it's because I see it as stupid.

3 days (including today) of school left. 2.5 really, because last day is a 1/2 day. Monday was just a holiday. SS9 was with her at 8:30 a.m. and went to the beach ALL day.

I go to his classroom to bring him his snack; his class is out on the kickball field for the grade-level tournament. I figure I will go cheer him on. He's not on the field. I go see if his backpack is in his classroom, nope. I go see his teacher, she just plainly says, "SS9 isn't here."

he occupies my mind

mommawowa's picture

Submitted by mommawowa on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 7:39pm

When SS9 goes to the dark side (Darth Vader's/BM's house), I feel so weird.

I miss him. My daughter misses him. I'm sure his dad misses him too. Things just aren't the same when he's not home.

When he's home.

I'm "too hard on him" and need to "cut him some slack" and am "always in a bad mood when SS9 is around".

(All this from DH.)

my many mistakes

mommawowa's picture

Submitted by mommawowa on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 6:19pm

EVERYTHING you say can and WILL be used against you.

SS9 repeats everything I say and do to Darth Vader.

Maybe I'm old school, but when an adult speaks to you, you answer directly and with an appropriate tone of voice. You also say please and thank you, where appropriate (and really more often than necessary).

This morning, on the way to school, I asked SS9 a question about something pertinent...something that needed to be answered right then. I had to ask him twice to speak up from the backseat of the car (with no radio on, even).

I'm going to flip the ***k out!

mommawowa's picture

Submitted by mommawowa on Sun, 05/20/2012 - 1:34pm

I know I'm jealous.

I know I'm angry. How can she (BM=Darth Vader) always be so freaking happy? Are their lives just freaking perfect over there?

They have so much money and are always on the go when SS9 is over there. Always doing something fun and exciting.

We are barely scraping by, filing bankruptcy in DH's name and spend most of our time at home or one of our parents' houses.

divorce

mommawowa's picture

Submitted by mommawowa on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 11:15am

I don't want my marriage to end in divorce.

It's not just him having an ex-wife, and then me having a step-son, either. It seems like there are so many issues.

Why do I constantly feel disrespected? I'm also not a big fan of the way he fights (yelling and cussing and calling me names...only to say later he doesn't mean it when he says it. I'm starting to believe he does though....)

We used to be so happy...like we could conquer anything that came our way. It's like we're both just exhausted from having to try so hard though.

sadness.

mommawowa's picture

Submitted by mommawowa on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 6:06pm

I know I'm depressed.

I have a degree in Psychology and did one year of graduate studies in Clinical Psychology.

I obsess about the BM. It's all I think about. Everything she does and doesn't do...that is all I think about.

I end up neglecting my own daughter, my husband, my work, my extended family, my tried and true friends, and myself....all because of her.

Everything she does seems to affect my life. Or at least I work myself up into believing that this is the case.

Some good advice.

mommawowa's picture

Submitted by mommawowa on Tue, 04/24/2012 - 9:23pm

I finally had a chance to talk to my sister today about what's been going on with Darth Vader lately. The shoe issue. AND how she tried to give us a verbal slap in the face when she basically wrote SS9's speech for him and had all kinds of things like "at OUR house we believe this is good for kids" and "at OUR house my mom does special things for birthdays". The poor kid just wanted to write a speech about how he has lots of family and such.

Pages